my husband smokes pot and drinks everyday?

Question

my husband smokes pot and drinks beer everyday i dont remember the last time i saw him sober he works out of town almost every week and still comes in on friday drunk and high ive told him i dont feel like we are even husband and wife but i doesnt matter i don't know how to get out our children are grown but one is in college i cant help her alone and he wont help if i leave

Answer 1

honey...he won't have any choice but to help if you leave...get a good lawyer, empty the bank accounts and go make a decent life for yourself....good luck

Answer 2

The kindest thing you can do for this man is not enable him. He just may surprise you. You need to demonstrate that you are serious and leave for a while and show him things have to change or you will pursue happiness. Go to or call your local Woman's Shelter they can provide temporary living arrangements, counsel you on what your options are, most likely have a abuse councilor on staff and also know all the legal wranglings you will have to deal with.
When you leave, leave a note telling him where he can find support such as AA and tell him that you love the man he was and can longer see him suffering and that you hope for his sake and the sake of his family he seeks help and when he is ready to do this you will be right by his side all the way.
Also look into your local Al anon group they support spouses of alcoholics and they have been where you are and have survived. The worst life crisis always have a silver lining but if things remain as they do it will only get worst. You have the power to change things. Be strong and take all the support you can get. You will be helping your children's father and hopefully he will care enough to do the right thing!

Answer 3

I am not against a small amount of pot, but I think he smokes too much and let's face it, you're uncomfortable because it isn't legal to do so...the obvious. Yes, you are becoming irrational as his smoking addiction grows. No mystery here... Remember, any and all smoke that goes into the lungs? NOT GOOD. Lung cancer is so prevalent among men. I worry about some of my friends who smoke cigarettes - who smoke pot. But that is, all I can do. Be concerned and caring. For the more you admonish? The more likely it is he/they will continue...Just the way it is, unfortunately. Grace

Answer 4

Speak to someone who can listen well. If it is a trained counsellor or psychotherapist, it's even better. People are addicted to things because their other relationship is not healthy. Look for conflictive distant relationship in his relationship, and you will find that that relationship(s) is/are causing great pain to your husband. You can talk to him about what is going on EMOTIONALLY, and yet you should stay completely impersonal but compassionate/interested about his raising his emotional issues. Just listen carefully, and try to rephrase and repeat what he says.

The healing process will take some time, as most of other people, but once it begins it will make your relationship grow and let your college daughter to be at ease.

Answer 5

Have a serious talk with him, I used to be the same way and now regret ever being the way I was. The weed and beer just used put me in my own world and never wanted to spend that family time with my ex fiancee and 2 yr old daughter. You need to just sit him down and try to talk to him about everything. I'm just so lucky that I have my daughter with me now but it's not the same without my other.

Answer 6

First of all, you need to leave, get help and understand that you need help in your life. Get some professional help for you. Sooner or later your husband will mess up and either get fired, or kill someone, or be killed. You need to take steps to educate yourself to be self determination in your life. Get some training for a job. Your child in college will not be in college forever, so you have time to train or go to school yourself.
Plan you escape as he will not stop until he realizes that he is hurting himself and you. But that will not happen.

Answer 7

He probably wouldnt notice if you're there or not. So I'd opt for not being there. If your children are students, he still needs to provide child support. So speak with an attny.

Answer 8

Your children are all in college or older? They are adults now. Leave him, if you've tried every attempt to make him stop or get help and it hasn't worked then just leave him. Get a lawyer and move on with your life.

Answer 9

my wifes ex does to she likes that cause if she keeps getting drunk he keeps looking good

Answer 10

divorce him