My wife has said a few things to me over 24 years that still hurt. Words hurt. After you say them you can't take them back. Years later the words stiil hurt. I give her everything she is a stay at home mom Kids 18 and 21. It's hard to forgive ??
2007-03-10 01:04:47 · 17 answers · asked by Me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
has she said she was sorry? if not, you can start by that.
if she has, then it sounds like you are the one holding on. the anger and the pain will eat you up if you don't forgive. you need to accept what she has done and you need her to ackowledge it. after that, you both need to realease it. i am not saying forget, but you need to forgive for her sake and for your's.
2007-03-10 01:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on staying in a marriage for so long I truely applaud you.You need to tell your wife exactly what it is that she has said that hurt you so much and then tell her that you forgive her you will feel so much better.You sound like a nice guy and i am sure that you can find it in your heart to forgive there should be no room in your heart for hatred and after 24 years your wife must be doing other thing's that make you happy let go of the past and live for the future..Good Luck to you.
2007-03-10 01:11:43 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. My boyfriend has said some really horrible, cruel things to me over the course of our relationship, and those words still hurt just as much now as the day he said them. I really have no idea how to forget such things...I know I haven't forgotten. I will probably never forget. All I can do is move forward and hope that the future turns out better than the past. I'm sorry you're going through this.
2007-03-10 01:51:20 · answer #3 · answered by heather_chavous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my husband. When he gets mad he will blame me for things that he knows I had nothing to do with, and say hurtful things to me or call me names that hurt. The hurt is hard to deal with and seems to keep building up over time. Then I begin wondering if it is even worth it to stay with him any-longer. He always, later tells me that he dont mean the things he has said and that he only said them to hurt me. Thats the part I just can't get. Why would you want to hurt someone like that, that you love?
2007-03-10 02:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by Elaine M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time to heal wounds. Let her know you are willing to forgive her if she works at making changes to better the relationship (namely taking your feelings into consideration), but none of us are without fault. Is there anything you may be doing that causes her to lash out at you this way?
Remember, if you talk to her calming about this,seek counselling and do everything you can on your end to make it work and nothing changes, perhaps you need to make a hard decision; Is it worth putting yourself through all of this if you are the only one doing what it takes?
2007-03-10 01:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by MsTrust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear ya..You can forgive but there are things that are said that you will NEVER forget. What do you think of sitting down with your wife and telling her exactly how you felt when she said those things to you? She may not be aware of just how deeply she hurt you. You may be surprised at her response. Good luck to both of you! Clear the air. :)
2007-03-10 01:15:40 · answer #6 · answered by no cutesy name : ) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you love someone and they hurt you over and over it is hard to forgive. Words can be just as bad as physical abuse and are at times verbal abuse. I would talk with her and express how the things she said to you hurt you deeply and its hard for you to forget. Maybe she did not truly understand what was said maybe out of anger would hurt you so bad. Communicate how you are feeling then it may help you to heal
2007-03-10 01:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by bbinqueens33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
but still but if someone is asking you for forgiveness just give it and she is your wife how can't you? she has spent the whole life with you and think about your kids 18 and 21!!! what would they be thinking about at this age you sholud be a friend of them and should give a best example to them..so let her give a chance..she can be nice to you
2007-03-10 01:09:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW< 24 years? My marriage lasted only 30 day's dude! God bless you!!! Were you guy's fighting, it sometimes happens, you know one Say's something that they later regret. If she is still with you after 24 years, give her alot of credit, she obviously wants something from you. So, dude relax, plan a surprise dinner for her, a nice quiet evening just the two of you, and reminisce, spark that old flame you dog!!! You know what I'm talking about!!!!!
2007-03-10 01:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, in this case you really need to talk to your wife about this. tell her what you are feeling, ask her why she said these things, see if you can work it out. If oyu are feeling so badly about these things, maybe you two are growing apart. Sometimes if it is bad enough, you can never let go of the hurt caused.
2007-03-10 01:09:49 · answer #10 · answered by smileforawile 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply remember that if you don't forgive them and let go they keep a power over you. They would be always there in the back of your heart poisoning your soul. It feels dirty to be angry at someone.
Keep this in mind people make mistakes and you just have to let go. What if God had an unforgiving heart what would happen to us?
Let go and let God baby...
2007-03-10 01:21:38 · answer #11 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋