how does a muslim women keep her husband happy.What are the duties of muslim women to their husband.?

Question

IAM A MUSLIM WOMEN NEWLY MARRIED.I WANT U TO HELP ME AND GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS TO KEEP MY HUSBAND HAPPY.

Answer 1

of course you have to keep him happy but i don't think the religious teaching are all about women keeping men happy only ! he too should plays his part n provide happiness to you, his wife !

any relationship required mutual nurturing from both men n women, if you are not happy[ if he upset you or causes you to be angry/sad or whatever] then how can you pleasure him?

let him know he too has his duties as a Muslim man, meaning you should know your right as well !

Answer 2

As-Salaam Aliakum Sister Follow your heart look at he and simplely ask him what he needs if he can't tell you then you waont know . If he dose teel you then do it and remember he is a man ,despite the fact that we are Muslim we make the mistake of thinking that our men don't want creative sexual relations , Beive me they do , and also see the Holy Quran in the surah (4 ) the woman . It is a guide for all man kind . Keep in mind what you do is what matters don't be afraid to try and fail because nothing beats a failuare but a try. In-sha-Allah

Answer 3

Knowing your rights. Even in bed. You can not make your husband happy, if you aren't. Marriage is common grounds, a give and take relationship.

Answer 4

salem sister ,you have to listen to him and say yes for everything even on bed

Answer 5

The true Muslim woman is always keen to win her husband’s love and to please him. Nothing should spoil his happiness or enjoyment of life. So she speaks kind words to him, and refrains from saying anything hurtful or upsetting. She brings him good news, but she keeps bad news from him as much as she can, or postpones telling it until a more suitable time when it will not upset him so much. If she finds that she has no alternative but to tell him upsetting news, she looks for the most suitable way to convey it, so that the blow will not be so hard on him. This is the wise approach and good conduct of the clever woman, but it is very difficult to attain and only a very few virtuous women ever do so.

One of those who did reach this high level was the great Muslim woman Umm Sulaym bint Milhan, the wife of Abu Talhah al-Ansari. Her son passed away whilst Abu Talhah was traveling, and her attitude was so unique that if Imam Muslim had not reported this story we would have taken it to be a mere myth. Let us hear her son Anas ibn Malik tell the story of his remarkable mother and her unattitude:

“A son of Abu Talhah by Umm Sulaym died. Umm Sulaym told her family, ‘Do not tell Abu Talhah about his son until I tell him about it.’ Abu Talhah came home, so she prepared dinner for him, and he ate and drank. Then she beautified herself in a way that she had never done before, and he had sexual intercourse with her. When she saw that he was satisfied, she said, ‘O Abu Talhah, do you think that if a people lent something to a household, then asked for it back, do they have the right not to return it?’ He said, ‘No.’ She said, ‘Then resign yourself to the death of your son.’ Abu Talhah became angry and said, ‘You let me indulge myself and then you tell me about my son!’ He went to Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and told him what had happened. Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘May Allah bless both of you for this night!’ Umm Sulaym became pregnant. Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) went on a journey, and she accompanied him. Whenever Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) came back from a journey, he never entered Madinah at night. When they (the traveling-party) approached Madinah, her labour-pains started. Abu Talhah stayed with her, and Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) went on ahead to Madinah. Abu Talhah said, ‘O Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) , You know how I love to go out with Your Messenger when he goes out, and to come back with him when he comes back, and I have been detained, as You see.’ Umm Sulaym said, ‘O Abu Talhah, I do not feel as much pain as I did before, so let us go on.’ When they reached (Madinah), her labour-pains started again, and she gave birth to a boy. My mother said to me, ‘O Anas, nobody should feed him until you take him to Allah’s Messenger in the morning.’ So when morning came, I took the baby to Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and when I met him he was carrying an iron tool. When he saw me, he said, ‘I hope that Umm Sulaym has given birth.’ I said, ‘Yes.’ So he put down the tool and I brought the child to him and placed him in his lap. Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) called for some of the dates of Madinah. He chewed it until it became soft, then he put it in the baby’s mouth and the baby began to smack his lips. Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘See how much the Ansar love dates!’ Then he wiped the baby’s face and named him ‘Abdullah.”45

How great was Umm Sulaym’s faith, and how magnificent her patience and virtue! How bravely she hid her pain from her husband and endeared herself to him. She managed to conceal her grief at the loss of her beloved son and spent that time with her husband patiently hoping that by being a good wife to her husband she might earn the pleasure of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). This is true, deep and sincere faith.

Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) answered the Prophet’s prayer for Umm Sulaym and her husband, and she became pregnant from that night. When she was heavily pregnant, she saw her husband Abu Talhah preparing to set out on another military campaign with Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). She insisted on partaking of the honor of jihad with him alongside Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), even though she was in the later stages of pregnancy. Her husband took pity on her because of the difficulties of the journey and the heat of the desert, but he still asked the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for permission to let her come with him, and he gave his permission because he knew her strength of character and love of jihad.

Umm Sulaym was present when the Muslims were triumphant at Makkah, and when they were sorely tested at Hunayn. She stood firm, as solid as a rock, alongside her husband and the small group of believers around the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), even though she was pregnant, at that most difficult time when many others had fled, and she remained there until Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) brought victory to the believers.

The mujahid army returned to Madinah, and her labour began. When the pains became intense, she and her husband stayed behind for a while, but her husband prayed to his Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) in the still of night becasue he loved to go out and return with the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Suddenly the pains ceased; she told her husband and they set out to follow the army that had gone on ahead. They caught up with them, and after they had entered Madinah, Umm Sulaym’s labour pains began anew. She gave birth to a boy, and his brother on his mother’s side, Anas, brought him to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who fed him a small amount of dates (tahnik) and named him ‘Abdullah. The prayer of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for this baby was fulfilled, as among his descendents were ten great scholars.

No doubt Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) knew the sincerity of Umm Sulaym’s faith, and conveyed the good news of Paradise to her via His Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):

“I entered Paradise, and heard footsteps. I said, ‘Who is this?’ and they told me, ‘It is al-Ghumaysa’, the daughter of Milhan, the mother of Anas ibn Malik.’” 46

Another example of the ways in which a wife may endear herself to her husband is the way in which ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) spoke to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he came back to his wives after he had kept away from them for a month. He had said, “I will not go in to them for a month,” because he was so angry with them. When twenty-nine days had passed, he came to ‘A’ishah first. ‘A’ishah said to him, ‘You swore to stay away from us for a month, and only twenty-nine days have passed; I have been counting them.” The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “This month has twenty-nine days.” That particular month had only twenty-nine days.47

‘A’ishah’s telling the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that she had counted twenty-nine days was a clear indication of her love towards her husband and of how she had waited, day by day, hour by hour, for him to come back to her. It shows how she loved and missed her husband. This approach made her even dearer to him, so when he came back to his wives, he started with her.

The sincere Muslim woman recognizes her husband’s likes and habits, and tries to accommodate them as much as she can, in the interests of mutual understanding and marital harmony, and to protect the marriage from the boredom of routine. This is what every wise and intelligent wife does. It was narrated that the qadi and faqih Shurayh married a woman from Banu Hanzalah. On their wedding night, each of them prayed two rak’ahs and asked Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) to bless them. Then the bride turned to Shurayh and said, “I am a stranger, and I do not not know much about you. Tell me what you like, and I will do it, and tell me what you do not like so I may avoid it.” Shurayh said, “She stayed with me for twenty years, and I never had to tell her off for anything, except on one occasion, and I was in the wrong then.”

This is the respectful and loving wife as Islam wants her to be, responsible for her home and loyal to her husband, and always careful to maintain a good relationship between them. If anything happens to upset their marriage, she hastens to calm the situation with her sincere love and wise understanding. She does not listen to the whispering of the Shaytan which calls her to do wrong, and she never hastens to ask her husband for a divorce. The marriage bond should be too strong to be undone by temporary arguments or occasional misunderstandings. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) warned those foolish women who ask their husbands for a divorce with no legitimate reason that they would be denied even the scent of Paradise:

“Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce with no good reason will be deprived of even smelling the scent of Paradise.”48


She does not disclose his secrets
The chaste Muslim woman does not disclose her husband’s secrets, and does not talk to anyone about whatever secrets and other matters there may be between him and her. The serious Muslim woman is above that; she would never sink to the level of such cheap and shameless talk as goes on amongst the lowest type of people. Her time is too precious to be wasted in such vulgar behavior. She would never accept for herself to be counted as one of those people whom the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) described as one of the worst types:

“Among the worst type of people in the sight of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) on the Day of Judgment is a man who enjoys his wife’s intimate company, and she enjoys his intimate company, then one of them goes and discloses the secret of the other.”49

Talking about that which is private between a husband and wife is one of the most abhorrent ways of disclosing secrets. No-one does such a thing but the worst type of people. There are some secrets the disclosure of which is not as bad as disclosing this secret, but in any case, telling secrets at all is disliked and is unacceptable. Keeping secrets in itself is a worthy and virtuous deed, whilst disclosing them is a serious error and shortcoming, from which nobody can be immune except the infallible Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). The disclosure of a secret that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had entrusted to Hafsah, who told it to ‘A’ishah, led to the plotting and intrigue in his household that caused him to keep away from his wives for a whole month, because he was so upset with them.50 Concerning this, the following ayah was revealed:

( When the Prophet disclosed a matter of confidence to one of his consorts, and she then divulged it [to another], and Allah made it known to him, he confirmed part thereof and repudiated a part. Then when he told her thereof, she said, ‘Who told you this?’ He said, ‘He told me Who knows and is well-acquainted [with all things].) (Qur’an 66:3)

The two women concerned are then confronted with their error, and called to repent, so that they might draw closer to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) after having distanced themselves by their deed, otherwise Allah would be his (the Prophet’s) Protector, and Jibril and the righteous believers would also support him:

( If you two turn in repentance to Him, your hearts are indeed so inclined; but if you back up each other against him, truly Allah is his Protector, and Gabriel, and [every] righteous one among those who believe - and furthermore, the angels - will back [him] up.) (Qur’an 66:4)

Then they are issued with a stern warning and the terrifying prospect that if they persist in their error, they may lose the honor of being the wives of the Prophet:

( It may be, if he divorced you [all], that Allah will give him in exchange Consorts better than you - who submit [their wills], who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship [in humility], who travel [for Faith] and fast - previously married or virgins.) (Qur’an 66:5)

This incident presents a valuable lesson to the Muslim woman on the importance of keeping her husband’s secret, and the effect this confidentiality has on the stability of the individual and the home. One of the greatest blessings that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has bestowed on the Muslims in particular, and on mankind in general, is that he has made the public and private life of His Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) like an open book, in which can be read the teachings of this ‘aqidah and its practical application in real life. Nothing is secret or hidden: matters and events that people usually keep secret are discussed openly in the Qur’an and Sunnah, even unavoidable human weaknesses. All of these issues are presented in order to teach people right from wrong.

The Sahabah, may Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) be pleased with them, understood that the Prophet’s life was entirely devoted to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and His message, so why should they keep secret or conceal any aspect of his life? The stories that have been narrated about his life, his household and his wives represent a practical application of the words he preached, and for this reason, the Sahabah (may Allah reward them with all good) transmitted the most precise details of his life, and did not fail to record any aspec