When your spouse physically and mentally abused you?

Question

did you forgive? did you get back together? what was wrong with your spouse andwhat treatment did your spouse get?

Answer 1

My husband was at times until he found Christ and had some intensive counseling with our pastor, plus he got on medication for depression. Yes I took him back and yes I forgave him but there is always that scar and apprehension when things get heated but for over 2 years he has done great.

Answer 2

no forgiveness didn't happen on either side, we divorced, think some thing could have been worked out, but due to bad feelings no one wanted to even respect the other enough to sit down and talk. my spouse wanted all things his way and had no tolerance for life when there were problems. he had no skills to work on the marriage. neither did i. unless there is some kind of intervention maybe with therapy he will never change. he would never to be willing to admit there was a problem with his behavior. we got no treatment, and as a result there was a divorce.

Answer 3

When I got my divorce in "98" my lawyer said I was the worse case of spousal mental abuse that he had ever had. It took me 3 years to get a divorce from him and only then because the judge said enough. He is/has paid every day since then, not by funds or possessions but because he is alone and realized too late that he could not have his cake and eat it too. He thought he could have all the things marriage had to offer, a wife, kids, pets, house, car, vacations, holidays, family and respect. Yet, he refused to give up his night life of bar hopping and womanizing, stating that sitting home every night would make him old like all of our married friends. He claimed he worked 10 hours a day and needed to loosen up in the evenings, not feel tied down. He kept total control over every move, every penny, every decision that involved the household. Do I forgive him today? I pity him but I don't feel sorry for him, he made his bed not he is lying in it alone. As for treatment, we tried marriage counseling in the beginning, we went to the therapist, he talked to him, then me, then both of us together and to sum the appoinment up...the therapist told him he was a controlling alcoholic and my Ex walked out and refused to go back...during the 3 years of court hearings he went to counseling on his own

Answer 4

i think if you love someone you can forgive but I'm not sure if you are an abusive person you can change without help from someone,i was with a very controlling Israeli for 8 years. He was mentally and physically abusive, i forgave him many times only for him to do the same thing over again so i decided enough was enough and after a while started seeing someone else, on a casual basis, he got desperate and started to do really foolish things, he actually rammed my car in his 4wd while it was parked and i was in it after an argument and a month later wrapped his 4wd around a tree(luckily he survived) my poor mum was a nervous wreck. i think that's one thing abusive people don't understand they are not only hurting their partner , i do think abusive people without help can get better but think if left untreated the incidents just get worse, so we have to be careful. fortunately i got out alive but sadly some don't

i left with nothing, after 8 years and 3 year marriage. he reasured me i would never get anything of his, so i left it at that. I know i dont ave to look over my shoulder and everything i own now is mine bought out of my own money

Answer 5

I have been married twice. My first husband was abusive and broke my ribs. I forgave him once but it continued to happen. I tried to leave him and he threatened to kill my family. Finally I just ignored him and he found a new girlfriend so I was free to divorce him. Mike was an alcoholic and never beleived he needed treatment. He beat his second wife too.

I joined a group of battered women and learned that most wife beaters will beat a woman again. The best thing is to leave them.

Then I got treatment myself. I saw that I was expecting a lot more of women friends but allowing men to treat me badly. I stayed away from relationships with men until I healed myself. Finally five years later, I met a wonderful man and we have been together for 24 years.

Answer 6

Hey I think that you should stay away from someone who wants to hurt you in anyway. If it happened once I alsway say this once is a mistake and twice is a habit. I would leave that person from the first encounter of abuse in any way may it be physically, mentally or verbally we would be over. No one deserves this kind of treatment.

Answer 7

Unless the abuse is temporary due to a medical condition then you should leave and not go back.
Once an abuser always an abuser.
** I say that about the medical condition because I once knew the sweetest man who suddenly turned mean towards his wife & it was due to a brain tumor.

Answer 8

ok here is going .... he's my tale. In my first marriage i became very mentally and emotionally abused via my first husband. i did not comprehend the thank you to love or forgive him for this and out of soreness all i did became run away each and all of the time and are available decrease back to him persistently. needless to say our marriage ended tragically and he dedicated suicide. I desire now i could have reacted distinctive to him yet i became not good sufficient on the time to accomplish that. My husband did not comprehend he had a challenge until it became too previous due and that's the sorrowful section. he on no account did seek for help for it. that's how he have been given out via taking his own existence. i don't hate him for this and that i forgive him. i became not myself then nevertheless and that i had no self esteem in any respect and that i could not see previous the soreness. I could have reacted in yet in a distinctive thank you to him and that i did not. I on no account felt enjoyed via him and that i felt grotesque and not well worth something.... 2 wrongs do not make a suitable. I could say that emotional and psychological abuse is so very not common and is a lot extra to heal from then any actual bruise or scar. inner and emotional scars and bruises final lots longer and each now and then they on no account heal completley.... My first husband hand anger subjects and did nto comprehend the thank you to handle them and it became not alcohol abuse it became anger subjects.....i'm now remarried to a surprising guy and am very thankfully married and not extra abuse. i'm lots extra self optimistic and happier now.

Answer 9

i can forgive a guy who has been mentally and physically abusive to me,because the longer i hate him the more power i give him over my life.however i will never take him back.abusive men never change and the longer u stay in the relationship the chances are that he will kill u.

Answer 10

It all depends on the person. I was in a relatationship with mental abuse and i had enough of it and left the relatationship yea i did forgive him and we are still friends but i moved on with my life cause no matter what was wrong with him or no matter how much treatment he got he still hurt me and when you hurt me i wont stay with you, but thats how i am.