When I was 13 I was raped by a 21 year old man. Now I'm 16 and ever since then I've been having a lot of sex and I feel like do this because of the rape. I don't even like sex but I feel like I need to do it to get a man to love. I can't stand men yet I want to please them. What's wrong with me? Am I a bad person for doing this?
2007-03-08 23:20:00 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Your inhibitians have been removed by that rape and you've been corsened by it. Sex doesn't mean the same as it did before. You've become cynical about it. You feel that you might as well use it to get things for yourself.
I hope you meet a man who wants more than your body but you are deliberately attracting men who do want to use you. It's up to you to break this pattern.
Let me tell you frankly though because I know about sexual abuse...although you've been touched by the evil side of sexuality you can distance yourself from it emotionally so it turns into knowledge...and knowledge is power.
You are proabably a very sexually powerful person now. Try to learn about the power of love now you've already learned the hard way about sexuality.
2007-03-08 23:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You aren't a bad person. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. There are actually a lot of girls out there who do the same. Some for different reasons...like not having a father around. These girls end up having sex to try to replace that love and acceptance that they never got from a father figure. The best thing for you to do is talk to your mother, or whoever takes care of you, and tell them what happened and that you are having a hard time dealing with it. You need to see a therapist and there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean you are crazy. Everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes....Good luck.
2007-03-09 07:35:06 · answer #2 · answered by cutesy76 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not a bad person and im sorry that you had to experience that but you shouldnt do things that you dont want to do just because you feel the need to please them.There is nothing wrong with you, you are just still tramatized from this experience and i dont blame you at all.Something like this stays with you forever but the only way to over come it is by getting the necessary help like counseling.I know this is something you will never forget but there's a point where you need to put your needs in front of others because having sex just to make a guy love you is no way to live your life.You should really consider what is it that you want and who cares what other people expect or want.You should do what you want and do things that you need to do because guys come and go.
2007-03-09 11:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by boriqua_052005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women who have been raped tend to have varying effects from it. Some women crave more sex because of it and some women are afraid of ever being touched beyond that point.
I am not sure why exactly you are doing this, but it might be that you feel weak and vulnerable and that you should be submissive in relation to men because you were overpowered earlier in life.
Seek counseling and talk about it with them- hopefully you will gather help through that and further understand why you are doing what you are doing.
Good luck.
2007-03-09 07:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop doing it! Your body does what your mind tells it. Change your mind. You know it's wrong so just stop doing. Recognize that you were raped and deal with it. Someone degraded you to the utmost. Why are you continually raping yourself now.
You CAN stop. There's no special force that's MAKING you be this way. That would only be the case if you were suffering from some sort of mental disorder like borderline personality disorder or something similar.
2007-03-09 09:51:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Have you tried therapy?
No you are not a bad person, you are a victim who needs help.
You DO NOT have to have sex with a man to win his love. As a matter of fact when you freely give sex to a man you are giving him free rein to disrespect you.
A "real" man will not make demands on you and expect you to have sex just to please him. He will want to make you happy because you deserve it.
Please seek counseling sweetie. Most important of all respect yourself and kick those to the curb that don't.
2007-03-09 09:05:58 · answer #6 · answered by ViolationsRus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of this be not from wanting to please them but wanting to please yourself and be loved and find the ideal man. You want the ideal man but you do need to keep your body to yourself and find your self esteem. You needs self esteem and masterbation and know yourself can please you and find a man who will treat you like a princess!! Counselors like to force people to relive stuff dont go to them. Psychiatrists wont allow people to get self esteem in themselves and want them to relive all the bad stuff so they can get money.
You do this since you a sexual nice memory a best one rather than bad one.
Please find a man who'll date you wait for you and treat you nice be a real princess !
Your inhibitions have nothing to do with this no your not a whore now that youve been abused, go get tightassed and stuck up and make everyone treat you respectful now.
2007-03-09 19:12:43 · answer #7 · answered by Maria puggum dog lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not a bad person. You need counseling. The sooner you get help the sooner you can stop victimizing yourself. What happened to you was horrible, but you are now abusing yourself, get help. Love yourself, men will use you if you let them, and that's not love.
2007-03-09 08:01:49 · answer #8 · answered by Annabella Stephens 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. There is nothing bad about what you are doing. It is pounded into the heads of young girls from the earliest age that they need to attract men. You see it eveywhere. There is no escaping it, but if you don't like it you can try and fight it.
2007-03-09 07:54:17 · answer #9 · answered by Kreen 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have a few years off sex and see if that sorts your head out.
2007-03-09 07:35:21 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋