When I haven't had sex in a while its very painful on entry but settles down is this normal??

Question

It only is painful for the first minute and then its fine but it is so sore. Is it because I am not doing it often enough?? No problems have ever been brought up during routine smears etc. It makes me scared of intercourse just for that initial bit which makes it worse as I sieze up. I am female aged 23

Answer 1

Because sex can be painful for many reasons, and several factors could be causing the experience of pain during sex, finding the solution can be a bit like solving a mystery (a very painful mystery). Not all of these suggestions will apply to everyone, but here are some steps to take

Take notes. Try to figure out what’s going on. Ask yourself some questions:
When did sex start to hurt (has it always hurt)?
When does the pain begin (is it as you’re getting excited, only during penetration, related to orgasm)?
Where do you feel the pain (is it in one specific area, or more general)?
Are there still things you can do sexually that don’t cause pain?

Explore on your own. If you don’t regularly masturbate, now’s the time to start.

If you can masturbate without pain, that is both a helpful thing to know, but it can also provide you with much needed release while you figure out how to resume sex with your partner without it hurting. Using masturbation to explore sexual pain is particularly good because you don’t have to worry about a partner poking you the wrong way. You can be as gentle (or as rough) as you want to be, and you’re always in control. If penetration with your partner is painful, you may want to use a vibrator or dildo (with lots of lubricant) to explore penetration with masturbation, to discover if it feels the same or different.

Use plenty of lubrication.One of the most common reasons for painful sex is lack of lubrication. There are all sorts of reasons women experience vaginal dryness, but using a personal lubricant can be an easy and effective way to treat this problem and eliminate a major cause of painful sex.

Communicate with your partner.It can be difficult to talk about sex at the best of times, even for couples who have been together for years. When it comes to talking about a difficult sexual issue, the communication can get even trickier. But communication is key to resolving painful sex. Even if the cause is entirely physical, and will go away with treatment, it’s still important to talk with your partner about the pain you’re experiencing and figure out other ways for both of you to satisfy your sexual needs while you are getting treated. This can actually be one of the positives of experiencing sexual pain, it can force couples to break down communication barriers and eventually lead to a better sex life than before the pain was experienced.

Experiment with different sexual positions. For some pain during sex happens as a result of pressure on particular parts of the body. It may be putting pressure on certain joints hurt, or that penetration at a certain angle is painful. Try exploring different sexual positions , and see if this alleviates some of the pain.

Consult a doctor or other healthcare provider. If you can, in most cases it is worth talking with your doctor about this. Even if the problem clears up (or seems to clear up) pain during sex can be a symptom of other issues, and knowing this can alert your doctor to other questions they may want to ask.

Answer 2

I used to get that - Try KY. My nurse at the time suggested I have a small drink beforehand, just to relax (not getting drunk, just a small shot, or glass of wine) which does seem very effective - especially the brandy/rum-based drinks and liquers. Strange, I know, but worth a try!

You may just have really good pelvic floor muscles, which can be annoying if you're having a smear or are a little uptight just before sex... Breathing out heavily or coughing lightly can help ease the first few awkward seconds.

An understanding bloke who spends plenty of time on you beforehand is also good...

Good luck!

Answer 3

Hey not only men ache when they dont get to do it & are aroused. Tightness in d cervix can happen to women who dnt get enough or their partners arent doing a good job. This is because ur emotions can get u to have a cerivical spasm. Try using panadol or any muscular relaxant , that should work. If u arent so keen on taking medicines try drinking sage or clary like saches. Just dont over do it coz it can get u to have a delayed muscular reflax n disrupt ur short term memory. This herb is great for menstrual pain , colds, & headaches. Get well soon.

Answer 4

Yes, that happens to me as well when I haven't had sex for say a week! Very normal indeed. I think the vaginal muscles tense up or something like that and then relaxes when your partner enters you after a while. You might try some lubrication as well as that has helped me in the past when I've been very tight.

Answer 5

Just because you are not wet yet. The entry may be too early before your door open. It is advisable for us to knock on the door first before we enter a room. So, foreplay is imporant even a quick one if the touch is right your door will be open immediately...or else use ky jelly. But sometimes if his thing is too big and long it might be hurt too. Normally in early stage of intercourse..

Answer 6

this is soo normal! I've had this too after a gap in partners. and tensing/anxiety for it makes it a bit worse. try and have enough fore play that your more aroused and into it. then for entry just relax and breathe through the first bit... then the fun will being again! lube is another trick to make entry easier.

dont worry tight means your not a sl*t! and he will know it.

Answer 7

I have had that problem before, You are probley dry and things from not being intimate. You should use some lube and you could aslo be a little tight from not haveing intercourse in some time..

Answer 8

Your nervous worry prior to intercourse is making you very dry . Try a lubricant and have sex much more often.

Answer 9

Yeah this is normal and not about doing it enough :-)

If you feel that your not getting enough lubricant then get some gel, but normally its just that the vagina does shrink, causing you to be a bit small and sometimes bleed.

Answer 10

i'm a male, i like your question.
i have no answer for it. lol
i havn't had sex yet im' also 23 and male.

but dont let the guy do it, right a way.
first get it wet. and then it should work fine.