I take people's words, comments too personal many times, how can I overcome this emotional challenge?

Question

This is really controlling my life, help!

Sometimes I will dole on things which I didn't think of saying, or that would have changed that person's answer. I get depressed thinking that I can never recap time and change things and the outcomes of conversations...

Answer 1

Many of the people that make comments regarding other people are stupid. They have nothing better happening in their lives and they want to sink everybody with them. Think positive things about you and ignore the negative comments. Remember some people think that they are funny (when they are actually sarcastic) and they just don't realize how stupid they actually are. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

I feel the same way, like today my daughter and I got into a argument and now I'm stressing myself out thinking about what happened, did I say something wrong? I'm also depressed thinking about the worst things that would happen through out my day. I try to say the right thing but I always end up explaining myself to another for what I said and did'nt mean any harm.So I begin my conversations that I find myself getting into,like this,"If I say anything that offends you I apologize for it now, because I mean to harm, that's just me".

Answer 3

I think most people feel that way way at least once in a while. Especially people who are exceptionally analytical. We look back on a conversation we just had with someone who we wanted to impress and think "oh why did I say that?", or "I wonder what he meant by THAT?"

It easy to replay conversations later in our head and think of the things that we wish we had said. In French they have a term: l'espirit de l'escalier. Which translated means "the wit of the stairway." We are always so much more clever when we are looking back on a situation!

The only thing you can do is to not stress yourself out about those things. Be confident in yourself and your accomplishments and realize that they are probably just as concerned with what you think about them as you are concerned with what they think about you.

Answer 4

I know how you feel. I was the same way up until only a few months ago. I was always a depressed and anxious wreck because of other people. Then one day, for some unknown reason, it all just stopped. I suddenly don't care what people say or do. It's good, except that I've also become bitter and hateful along with it.

So maybe you just have to wait until you reach your breaking point.

Answer 5

I have the same problem and it is really controlling my life too.

Ever since my marriage ended I have been that way - and it ended a 'long' time ago. I we have kept contact and I have begged to re-unit - only to be insulted by horrible attacks my character. It made me emotionally sick to beg that way, and to take such a beating from someone who meant so much to me.

Ceasar is right. Stick with people who understand this about you and who do not mind building you up. Eventually you will stand on your own, and what 'you' think will matter.

Avoid those who have bad effect on you. That is what I am doing now and I have a long way to go.......

good luck.

Answer 6

Hurtful people loose respect of others so in reality they are hurting themselves but are too ignorent to see this. Borrow some library books on self esteem and confidence. And learn to speak up for yourself with confidence in a positive manner. Good luck.

Answer 7

The best way is to learn to find security in the right things rather than in what people say.

Find out why people's comments and opinions matter to you and realize that people's opinions change all the time. What really matters is what you think of yourself and what your loved ones think of you.

That's the best I can offer here.

Answer 8

Do not invest the emotional energy in what someone says to you or about you.
You are free to think as you choose, however, allowing the attitudes and opinions of those that may be jealous or detrimental to your growth or progress gives them total control.
If you choose to continue along this path--you will be continuosly depressed.
You must assume the responsibility to be yourself---with your faults and weaknesses. Also, let your deepest and most profound love be self-love.
Love yourself--you'll be fine.

Answer 9

As you walk through the path of life you will get a lot of misfortunes and hopefully there will be a point where you wont feel a thing for other people offensing you. The hardest life hits you, the easier to understand that you live only for yourself.

Answer 10

Read (or listen to cd/audio ) book by Don Miguel Ruiz, called "The Four agreements"... One of the four agreements is "Take nothing personally" ... he explains why and how - I found it fantastically helpful. Incidently, the other 3 agreements are don't make assumptions, integrity of your own words, and do your best.