Am I Transsexual?

Question

Since I was 6, now 18, I've had the urge to dress as a woman and off and on over the years, I've done just that. Even when I was a little boy, I couldn't wait to come home from first grade to try out my Mother's clothes. Needless to say, sometimes I've gone months or years of going without dressing up and forgetting about it, but sometimes (like now) the urge comes back stronger than ever. Where I picture myself being a woman, wanting to be one, wishing I had a female body, parts, living a female life, motherhood, etc. Then sometimes the feeling (maybe due to guilt) will go away and I'll forget about it and be comfortable as a man and the urge goes away... until later when it only comes back stronger.

I don't hate being a male, but I feel complete when dressed up, like me, happier. My friends say that I have a very feminine personality, that I respond and act like a woman and am "one of the girls" to them, even when I try to often be manly.

In some way, I used to kind of like when they would refer to how feminine and girly I was - it almost would give me a high - but I want to be masculine. I have to be. Anyways, do I show signs of gender dysphoria and being a transsexual or could this be a phase that could go away, like I really, really hope, and I can eventually become more masculine like I badly want to? The urge is just coming back. What do I do? Thanks.

Answer 1

Hello, I've met many people like you. They were men for a long time. Then when they turned 40 they couldn't take life anymore. They became suicidal and couldn't imagine living as a man any longer. They decide that in order to continue living they must transition and begin hormone treatment to become women.

Yes, I do believe you are a transsexual and that sooner or later you will decide to transition. You can decide to transition now if you want to, to avoid the all the pain of being a man until 40. Actually it is better to start transition younger, because if you start now, you will be very beautiful and pass as a regular female. The longer you wait, the longer the testosterone will affect your body and it will make it harder for you to pass as female when you transition at 40.

I would definitely try to find a local transgender support group so that you have peers who can help you along the way. You don't have to do this alone. Oh, and just to let you know, I transitioned when I was 19, and look at my pic. :) I'm 30 now and very happy with my accomplishment. I had the operation last September and have no regrets about doing it.

Take care!

Hugs,
Crystal

Answer 2

A male transsexual is a man who has a very Strong urge to be a woman. He will at all times want to be a woman. Many transsexual men will live as a woman all the time and even have sex change and inject female hormones. If you only feel like wearing female clothes sometimes and don't hate being a man I would say you are a transvestite. Meaning you are a man but like to be a woman only sometimes. Only if you always want to be a woman you are a transsexual.


If you are not comfortable with you way you feel about yourself when you get the urge to be a woman I'd suggest you go talk to a therapist. Chances are you are not a transvestite but just confused about your gender and sexuality (you do not state whether you are gay or straight). But please don't stress yourself out about it. You can find a way to deal with your feelings if you speak to a professional in the field.

Answer 3

man do i know how you feel i have also be through this and am just now comming to grips on it all you and a crossdresser/transgendered the feeling never goes away forever just short time month or two or more and often the urge comes back stronger and stronger each time i would sugest getting help maube someone to take to but do not hate yourself for being what you are enjoy it for there is nothing wrong with you and 95% of guys that do this are straight so by all means enjoy it

Answer 4

A transsexual is a person was assigned one sex at birth, but desires to be and/or to live as the opposite sex, and takes steps to do this. The process goes by various names, but is most commonly called sexual reassignment or transition.

Basic courtesy is to refer to transsexuals as their psychological sex rather than their biological sex, thus, am MTF transsexual should be referred to as a woman and as "she". Flip that around for FTMs.

Transsexuality is more common in genetic males than in females, thus there are far more MTF (male to female) transsexuals than there are FTM (female to male) transsexuals.

MTF transsexuals have been studied more than FTMs, but there's still not much of a consensus as to what exactly causes one to be transsexual. There's very little research on FTMs.

To start with, you're obviously a crossdresser. There is nothing wrong with this, and there's no reason to transition if it's a just a matter of liking dressing in women's clothes.

Being a crossdresser, however, doesn't mean that you aren't transsexual. The majority of MTF transsexuals go through a crossdressing phase prior to beginning transition.

You report a cycle of having a compulsion to dress in women's clothes which comes and goes. Moreover, you report being comfortable as a man, and not hating being male.

These statements are somewhat inconsistent with being transsexual, but are consistent with being a male crossdresser.

You also report being feminine and having others see and think of you this way, and I'm inferring that these friends who see you as "one of the girls" are women. These are qualities commonly associated with young transitioning transwomen, being feminine and being more attatched to women friends than to men.

There is nothing wrong with being a feminine man who likes to hang around with women. If you can be happy that way, be happy that way.

How do you know for sure? Unfortunately, there is no biological test. There are some psuedo psychological tests, and they can be fun, but they've never been scientifically validated with transsexuals, so they're not of much use.

Ultimately, the real question isn't what label to use, it's what you need to do to life a full life.

Your orientation would be helpful. If you're oriented to men, you may just be a feminine gay man. If you're oriented to women, you may just be a straight male crossdresser.

Both of those are perfectly fine, perfectly appropriate ways to be in the world, and in both cases, you're a man, not a transsexual woman.

Ultimately, the question isn't what label to use, it's figuring out what you need to be happy, and whether transition is necessary for that.

Ask yourself these questions:

Have you had persistent cross-gender feelings from the time you were a child? Most MTF transsexuals report this, not just an attraction to the clothes, but a feeling of wanting to be a girl from early on.

Are you unhappy being a man? If you aren't, it's very unlikely you're transsexual. Most MTF transsexuals suffer from strong to profoundly unsettling discomfort with being male, a condition called Gender Identity Dysphoria.

Do you believe you'd be happier as a woman than as a man? Most transwomen are, though there are some who later regret.

If you answer yes to both of these, then you need to answer one more question: Do you believe that transitioning to living as a woman full time, 24/7, is something that would make you happier, make you better able to function in the world, make you feel whole?

This is a very simple test, and if you're still unsure, the best thing to do is to find a qualified gender therapist and talk to her (most are women). There are lists of gender therapists on several sites; do a search and find a good one in your area, go in and aske some questions.

If you are transsexual it's better to get treatment early; hormone therapy has a much more favorable outcome at your age than it will in 20 years.

My guess is that you're a feminine man who likes to crossdress on occasion. Keep looking inside yourself and asking those two questions: Does being a man make me unhappy? Would being a woman 24/7 make me happier? Take some time with it and ask the questions when you're in a variety of moods.

You don't have to decide right now. If you are gender dysphoric, it doesn't go away, and gets stronger over time. If you're unsure, don't do anything you can't undo.

Answer 5

If your happy being male and enjoy being masculine then you are probably not a transsexual. You seem to be a crossdresser who uses the crossdressing to escape from the stress of everyday life and that is fine. If you are really bothered by your life and the fact that you are male instead of female try talking to a gender therapist.

Answer 6

First there is a misunderstanding in our culture about men who appear as women.There are "transsexuals" These are people who after much evaluation both psychological and medical have hormonal treatment have their bodies altered to resemble women.This is commonly known a the"sex change". A drag queen is a gay man who from time to time dresses in female clothing but who still identifies himself as a male.A transvestite usually a man still remains as a heterosexual even though some people mistakenly label them as gay.Be careful appearances can be deceiving! Hey Reginald it's ok I hope my answer can be of help to you

Answer 7

Let's define the meaning of transexual and how it differs from the term transvestite, etc. Unfortunately, society is so full of labels and we as human beings feel this need to label everything.

A transexual is a person who lives life as a member of the opposite sex. In other words, a man who lives as a woman or a woman who lives as a man. They feel that they are complete as a member of the opposite sex but don't necessarily all opt for the complete surgical procedures to become a member of the opposite sex.

Pre-op transexuals are those who live as the opposite sex but who have not yet gone for the sex-change operations. Post-op transexuals are those who have completed the transition to becoming a member of the opposite sex...ie, have had their sex change operations.

Transvestites on the other hand do not live as members of the opposite sex. Many transvestites have some fetish or other that they get off on when they put on the garb of the opposite sex. Many do this in secret, in the privacy of their own homes or at private parties, etc. During the day, they live as members of their own sex and most of the time, one would never know that they had transvestite tendencies.

Now, there is another group that we call Drag Queens or Drag Kings. This group of people also do not live as members of the opposite sex and only get "dressed up" for the purpose of performing on stage as a member of the opposite sex. They live as members of their own sex and are not often secretive of their activities as publicity often gains them more popularity and guarantees the success of their shows.

As mentioned, it is sad that society places so many labels on what we do and what we feel. If it were up to me, I would say you were just being you. A very unique, beautiful and special human being.

Best of luck in all that you do.

Answer 8

Its ok to be like that..u shouldnt go to a phsychologist or anything like that..because they couldnt fix you even if they wanted to..this is who you are and you really have to face it...
ounce in New york I was in a Gay Puerto Rican Club (may I include I was to yung lol) and there was this man (I didnt know at the time) and he looked JUST like a woman..she **he** was beautiful...i Mean that and then I found out she was a man and I was shocked...just be ok about who you are because no matter what you was born this way and i know that you would like to change..if u really wanted to u could..but deap down inside this part of life would still be inside of you..
i mean but are you Gay...that has a big part in it too..you`ll have to find a man who wants a man but I woman..**u know what I mean** or if u like women..ull have to find one whos ok with u wanting to be in her clothes **lol**,,,,I dont know about a sex change because thats up to u..just dont worry about it and when u have the erge to dress up like a woman...U do so..u probably feel wierd about wanting to do this so much..but if your family ☼ friends can except it...then be plzed with it....hope I can help you...haha bye

Answer 9

You pose a difficult question.
I would say that if you don't have a compelling urge to be transgendered, stay as you are and adapt to society as best fits your desires.
The longer you have inner conflicts over 'male or female?' the longer you'll be mixed up.
I'm a well adjusted bisexual male whose M2M desires are only known to the few with whom I practice that side of my sexuality.

Answer 10

Sounds like maybe you are a transgenderist, just guessing here its definately someting to speak to a therapist about or a gender counselor in your area if you can find one.
Do your friends accept you ? if so thats really cool I hope they don't vanish from you like mine did if and when you decide to persue this into fulltime reality