My bf wants to be wiv me 4eva, have kids, get a house, he loves me n all that but never wants to get married becos he said its somethin he just doesnt believe in!
But i do, so wat would you do if the guy u loved wanted everythin wiv ya but marriage???
2007-03-08 19:20:19 · 29 answers · asked by baby_gal_lisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your bf wants to be wiv u 4 eva, then that should be good enough. Lucky u. Ever consider becoming a columnist for the Sunday Times?
2007-03-08 19:28:50 · answer #1 · answered by ~♥~mama-to-be~♥~ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is possible to be committed without being married. Commitment is what is your heart every day. If you want commitment then marriage is neither here nor there.
However if you have religious views then yes marriage can be important to sanctify your relationship.
Marriage can also become important if you want to make sure your partner is looked after when you die - in terms of transference of assets (this is why the UK now has civil partnerships) - its about tax etc, not very romantic but certainly loving.
Notice that I am talking about marriage, the day in day out struggle to share a positive life together for ever. I am not talking about weddings. If you want a wedding that is different. If your man said 'OK you and me and the first two people we see in the registry office/wedding chapel in vegas /whereever' what would you say? Do you want the commitment or the dress and the frills?
2007-03-09 05:13:54 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have quite a few friends that have been with their partners for over ten years and have children and a house and are very happy. Marriage is a piece of paper hun. I was married for nearly 30 years and it was an abusive relationship, I divorced last year. I now have met someone wonderful who accepts me as I am, we have NO inclination to get married and if he ever asked me I wold run !! You can be happy without the piece of paper. If you love each other don't spoil it by arguing over this, who knows he may change his mind .... but. Enjoy what you have hun, xx
2007-03-09 04:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Isis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage shows commitment and this means hes not ready to make a commitment. If he wants to get a house and have kids wiv u then your at risk of having the kids to look after if he decides to break up. Bad idea. Wait until he feels the same as you or find someone better im affraid hun!!
2007-03-09 03:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would sit him down and try and ask him why he doesn't believe in marriage? Is there some reason he's scared of marriage? Maybe his parents marriage ended in divorce? Tell him that this is very important to you and if it is something that he won't even consider; maybe he's not be considerate of your feelings and how you think about marriage. Maybe you should tell him its either you give me what I want or I will just have to find someone who would like to marry you. Tell him there's other men in the sea and that you deserve better than that. Good luck.
2007-03-09 03:26:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not ready to make a lifetime commitment then I would certainly not think about bringing children into this relationship. Why is he anti-marriage? Has he explained this to you? If not then he must. You can then consider his opinions and decide for yourself whether you are prepared to live with his decision. Living together and starting a family has to be a joint decision. If one of you pines for the total commitment then you are never going to be truly together. It bodes ill as you will always be hoping he will commit and will become more disappointed and disillusioned, as time goes on. If you force him into a commitment he doesn't want to make the same thing goes. You have to have the same type of goals in a relationship and this one doesn't have it.
2007-03-09 04:39:13 · answer #6 · answered by ELIZABETH M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's full of crap. What is it about marriage he doesn't believe in? The commitment part? That's crazy if he's also talking about having kids and a house and stuff. Those are commitments too!
Some guys try to say it's "just a piece of paper" and it "doesn't matter". I say well then if it doesn't matter, what's the big deal?!
Are his parents divorced? Maybe it isn't marriage that he doesn't believe in, but divorce. Guys can be too afraid to say this, even to themselves. They don't want to be seen as a schmuck, imagining he'll be stuck with some woman who will run all over him for the rest of his life. If you think that might be it, try to reassure him about how committed YOU are and share your own beliefs about marriage and divorce.
2007-03-09 03:29:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
May be the problem with ur bf is that which happens with around many love marriages that when it comes to reality from fairy love situations it gets broken . But if u love him and understand him and he also feel the same . I think with ur love for each other this can have a good ending . Do not press him harder and may be u can wait for the right situation to get it right.
2007-03-09 03:29:01 · answer #8 · answered by ritesh s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell you something I was like that until i met someone who iu thtought was my ideal lady of my life i got married when i was in my late 30s ok after the so called honey moon it failed badly and i applied for a divorce in 2 weeks in the marrage, now i getting diroved i met someone else but as good as my ex wife to be but i love her the same, one day i woke up and saw myself in the mirror and asked myself now i am getting older do i need to get married i said well i said may be soon enough i changed my mind by asking myself do i need to be unhappy and alone in my life being united as one is a good idea, marrage and commitment is the answer, just say i want to get married because i need the 100% commitment because i don't want to be alone i want you to be with me for ever by marrying me would boost myself convidence and make me feel better in myself chat like that
2007-03-09 03:38:27 · answer #9 · answered by vwd2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage makes the relationship complete..... You can call him husband instead of your Boy friend
You need to talk to him... If he doesn't believe in that then tell him that you believe and if really love you he will surely bring you wish to realty
If is not getting married to you then he will be your bf today but tomo a bf of someone else...
so save your love without getting divided among someone else
2007-03-09 03:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by Raj 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋