I have been married for 13 years but these have not been easy. I have a 2 year old child also. For several years I have not been trully happy and my husband has turned his back on my twice in favour of his family although now he says he can see the whole picture. I have always had a gut feeling that this marriage won't last forever. Over the past year or so I have been feeling neglected and I question if I am still 'in love' with him. I have confronted him with this and I can see he has been making more of an effort although I wonder how long it lasts. What do I do?
I am also in contact with an older man who lives on the other side of the country who I have strong feelings for and he is in love with me. Should I make the break and pursue this or remain in my marriage? I am so confused but I know I do deserve to be happy.
2007-03-08 18:12:03 · 12 answers · asked by rodeo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dont go with someone else if youdont love them just because they love you ....big mistake///from personal xpereince nothing compares to love and if you love your husband try to talk. if he argues dont argue back, tell him u love him and dont want to give up and go to marrriage counselling. if he doesnt work it out and wants a divorce just be alone....and get yourself together....but most importantly dont think negatively think that you will work things out and that your marriage will last..things that you think will happen ..will happen
2007-03-08 18:19:55 · answer #1 · answered by amor_dove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, so you've been in this "unhappy" marriage for years, had a child nevertheless, and you're only thinking about leaving after you have found a back-up? Are you one of these people who would rather be in a relationship - ANY relationship - than to be on their own? If so, you're setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment no matter which road you choose. This person you have "feelings" for is not around 24/7 like your husband is. It's waaay too easy to have "feelings" for someone who's not leaving dirty socks all over the house, ignoring you when the football game is on, and staying out til 2 am with his buddies. Your husband was good enough to have a child with just two years ago; what happened between then and now that has changed your mind so radically? What about your responsibility as a parent? Sounds to me like your child is about to become the chief loser in the games you're playing with your life. I just don't get you people... If you're so unhappy - why bring kids into the mess?
2007-03-08 18:54:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have truly tried with your husband and not let that other man come between the two of you then you do what you need to do .I think you will be sorry most people are when they walk away from a married. You are in a rut and you want out but I'm telling you ,you will miss what you consider a rut believe it or not that is what most people say they miss the day to day routine so you better really think this thing through before you do something you will be sorry for later.Remember the feelings you have for this other man won't late long because you have a child to look after that will take away from the time you have with this other man and what about that how is he going to take that .How do you no he isn't the jealous type.
2007-03-08 18:32:40 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK if you are really serious about saving your marriage then you need to stop talking to the other guy and focus on your husband. But as for the husband you have to decide if this is really something you think he can do because not very many people can change and if they do they change because they want to not for someone else if they do that is why you get the change for a few days then they go back. He has to want this marriage too. you need to sit down with him and honestly talk with no hurt feelings and share what you guys are going and are willing to do to save it if not stop hurting each other and get out.
2007-03-08 18:39:46 · answer #4 · answered by mommy of three 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're right, you deserve to be happy.in order for you to appreciate the efforts of your husband you need to give up this older man. it s the reason why you're confused and don't see so much of his efforts is because you're entertaining thoughts that there's someone out there waiting for you. unless you focus on husband alone the marriage can't be saved. it takes two tango - if he's working to make it work, you have to work on it also. And you both have to work on your marriage with each other...not as an individuals but as partners.
your two-year old son is your best reason to keep the marriage working.
2007-03-08 18:36:07 · answer #5 · answered by shekinahjireh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are constantly thinking about that other guy who seems to want you more...dear trust me...all men are the same. Familiarity breeds contempt...so dont expect to have a exciting life with his new guy!! You've spent all your life with ur hubby. Try to change your husband....both of you should make an attempt to change your marriage. If your husband is totally insensitive to your feelings...and refuses to listen or does not care whatsoever...u can think of your other relationship. If not...and if you still believe ur hubby loves u, try to repair your marriage....but yea you have to make a sincere attempt to do that! So should your husband...
2007-03-08 18:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by Someday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how in the world did you get in contact with an older man on the otherside of the country? don't tell me this is from the internet! guys can manipulate women all day long on the internet. fix what you started first....if you are trying to pursue a relationship while being married maybe you are not worthy of having a relationship with anyone
2007-03-08 18:26:17 · answer #7 · answered by LanternPrime 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stay with your husband and child. Cut off contact with the other dude, for the sake of your family.
2007-03-09 00:22:48 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both need to see a marriage-family therapist. With him/her you both of you can lay your feelings on the table and see if there is any resolution. You will need to talk about your needs and that you are worthy of being happy.
2007-03-08 18:34:32 · answer #9 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is cheesy but, follow your heart. If you really dont have feelings for you husband anymore, I dont blame you, these things happen and the flame goes out. You have to talk to him and make it sound really really /really/ serious and say what you feel. But dont every resort to unfaithfulness...it just makes it worse trust me...
2007-03-08 18:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by LizzieIzzyBizzy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋