Ok..We started out as highschool sweethearts, she went from guy to guy and never went without a relationship. When she met me as a senior we fell in love and dated for 5 years. during the dating process I ignored her for a week well she found a guy at her work and kissed him and hung out with him. I pleaded for her to come back and she did. We married for 10 years about 3 years ago she developed a gambling addiction and it bankrupted the family. Then about 4 months ago she left me for a guy at her work. She told me that she fell out of love with me about a year ago. I told her that I would have done anything in the world to keep her but it was to late I lost my highschool sweetheart. I divorced her,we have to sons together and she gets no alimony or child support because I get my sons most of the time. What kind of girl does this? I was a good husband and father and put up with allot of issues with her over the years. Her parents past away when she was 20 and I've been there ever since
2007-03-08 17:43:25 · 18 answers · asked by The best I can do 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been trying to figure out why she left me and she told me that when she figures it out that she will tell me. She did tell me that she was molested by her step brother just recently and there is not a day goes by that she doesn't think about it. I wish that she had told me that while together. Could this be why she is the way she is?
2007-03-08 17:45:52 · update #1
Why do you really want to know? You sound like a good guy, go out and meet someone who treats you better, and like you should be treated. You said that you were high school sweethearts, I think that YOU were in love, and she was just with someone else until she got tired of it. You have seen that pattern previous to you dating her, and while you were dating her. If she wouldn't keep her tongue in her mouth for a WEEK then she is not a good person.
Go on with your life, live it the best you can and do not worry about why she left you, it will only hurt you more.
Some people are mentally immature and unable to be with one person, or they are mature but want to have all the attention, maybe her brother doing that to her caused some of it, but it could have just been a pathology that she has, it wasn't your fault and you shouldn't be blaming yourself.
2007-03-08 17:54:13 · answer #1 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont look back man. I made the mistake and not walking away in close to the same situation as you. Biggest difference was the addiction. started 3 years ago, and now i am still getting divorced. Sometimes people dont grow up, or decide to live "the life" as long as they can. I truely hope for your sake she does not try to come back, and if she does dont take her back. Be strong and do whats best for you and the kids. Let me guess on something. She seems to not care less about the fact that you are not in her life anymore? It sucks when someone can just up and walk out of your life like that. I feel for you.
2007-03-09 01:59:05 · answer #2 · answered by hlind28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has issues that you can't help her with. she has to pinpoint what her problems are and how to deal w/ them herself. I'm sure you're marriage didn't end because you weren't a good husband. she probably jumps man to man because she needs reassurance that she's loved. Having a gambling addiction is just a symptom of her real problems. She should really be getting some kind of counseling. Maybe together you could go to counseling since it sounds as if you still love her.
2007-03-09 01:54:54 · answer #3 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm..Maybe the incident with her step brother traumitized her and maybe now she can't deal with commitment or somthing like that. My parent were recantly divoreced becuase of my father's drinking and gambling addictions. Also not to mention, he's kindof a playa...People can change a lot from when you meet them to the present, but when problems arise in your marriage, always remember to be truthful to each other and try to talk your problems out. Your ex- did not deserve you and you sound like a really great guy! I hope you will try to forgive her for this.
2007-03-09 02:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by LizzieIzzyBizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definelt, this is just the way she is...people that have been abused and never resolved it..have it inside eating at them....they usually become the abuser or if not they find another abuser because they feel that they dont deserve better. they spiral downward..she needs to realize that what happened to her is not her fault and its not your fault she left u either. You couldve won a metal for the best husband in the universe and it still wouldve ended up this way because she has unresolved issues. They are all in the mind and i am sorry to say there is little you can do, people need to have a wakeup call to change at times....Let her be for now she needs to learn on her own. Please focus on your children becuase if this affecting u so much it is so much stronger for the kids..so your feelings will rub off on them. So please try to focus on them and communicating with them...its no ones fault she that way..good luck
2007-03-09 02:05:52 · answer #5 · answered by amor_dove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People change over time. I think she is a very needy person if she goes a week and is already messing with other guys. I don't think she has a clear understanding of what love is and only lives for that feeling you get when you are in a new relationship (know what I mean). She is unbalanced and people do change over time too. Just let it go.
2007-03-09 01:49:04 · answer #6 · answered by sdo3lg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, she seems like a selfish person. She is high maintenance and needs a high level of "just falling in love." People can get addicted to that feeling of lust/love just as easily as any other high. The fact that she jumped from relationship to relationship is a huge clue.
I would go back in my memory to see if there may have been other times that she was unfaithful. If that is the case, then you were never in love with your wife, you were in love with who you thought she was... Sorry for your loss
2007-03-09 01:56:48 · answer #7 · answered by Ammie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she doesn't want to settle down. What she did to you was cruel and you didn't deserve that. You mentioned that she said she was molested by her stepbrother just recently. Well, I don't think that really has that much to do with it because it sounds like even before she married you, she just went from guy to guy. You sound like a great guy and you said you were there for her and she doesn't seem to have even appreciated it. I know it's hard but give yourself time and one day you may find a woman who will appreciate you and care for your children. Your ex may one day realize what she lost but that would be her fault, not yours.
Best wishes,
Dr. Phyllis (No, I'm not really a doctor named Phyllis)
2007-03-09 01:55:17 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Phyll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no that not the reason she has a addiction behavior and she cant commitment relationship and dont trust any thing she say good luck but dont allow her back in youre life because you will open your heart and she will rip it out everytime my ex was the same way and i wacth my sons cry for their mom too many time intell i said no more
2007-03-09 01:56:11 · answer #9 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women date a guy with hopes they can "fix" them. Men do it too.
I'm really sorry she left you like that. She has issues far beyond your help and its out of your hands now. I hope you can move past this and find a nice woman because there's lots of them out there.
2007-03-09 01:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋