she's 4 years older and i'm not ready yet!!!?

Question

my girlfriend and i have (or were rather)... were together for 3 years. fabulous time. if ever i reach the ripe old age of 80, i'll look back into this time of my life and it will only have one resounding memory. her.

6 months ago, she started having this inkling need to (gasp!) get married, and i'm definitely not ready yet! i mean, she's 4 years older and probably feels that i am the one for her. but as for me, even though i completely and thorougly love her, i just can't say yes yet because i don't have enough life experience to say yes to marriage.

so we broke up - and that was 6 months ago. and i still can't get over her.

did i do the right thing, or would it have been better had i just said that "yes, right now, i think you're the one for me and i want to stay with you and see where this takes us"? - knowing full well that it might not give her the fairy tale ending that she wants...

HELP!!! i need to get myself grounded again!

Answer 1

You didn't say your age so how do we no if you are even old enough to get married.I met my now husband when he just turned 19 and I was 25 we dated for 18 months and then we married. This May will make it 28 years together.So yes I think you made a very big mistake and so do you.You will be thinking of her for the rest of your life and saying what if.

Answer 2

I think she did a wise thing. Stop now, if there is no future. You did a wise thing by not rushing into it, if you were not sure. Time tells a lot. Six months tells a lot. You can live without her. If you felt the same way she did, then you would have been back together, by the second month, probably. For you, there was probably attraction, a comfortable feeling, but no one else you liked better. Now you can find that someone, or it just may lead back to her and then you can know she is your first choice, that you don't want someone else. Yes, it is kind of scary, but once you cross the line to committment, stay true.

Answer 3

Age does not make a person want to get married, so the fact that she is 4yrs older than you is not the reason. She loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you, you should have felt honoured. What do you need life experience for, when you have already found your true love. Don't loose something great cause you thing there might be better, go back and ask her to marry you. If you love her, the risk should be worth-it

Answer 4

i in my opinion wish this question is a humorous tale. If not then the reality you even think of you're arranged for a toddler at 14 exhibits how not waiting you somewhat are. think of roughly what you purely reported...his mom will help. on an identical time because it somewhat is advantageous to have grandparents help, they should not be those raising or helping the toddler that's precisely what is going to ensue. Do you have around $60 a month for diapers? $30 a week for formulation? money for garments and a crib and carseat and stroller and each and all the failings a toddler desires? Do you have money for lease for a place to stay? Do you somewhat have a job? How do you intend to visit college? And dont say his mom will watch the toddler on an identical time as you visit college...you will possibly prefer to be raisingyour own youngster. And in case you're scared approximately what your mom will think of you're honestly not waiting. babies are stunning and cuddley and sound relaxing, yet what approximately whilst the novilty wears off for you or him? a toddler isnt something you may toss on your closet whilst its not relaxing anymore. you nonetheless prefer a toddler? straight forward over and you'd be able to sit down down up with mine whilst she is screaming bloody homicide from 9pm-1am simply by fact of colic each and every nighttime or whilst she screams for the time of each and every feed simply by fact we are nonetheless understanding the terrific acid reflux affliction scientific look after her. Then tell me you prefer a toddler. At my age i will cope along with her, yet even each and every so often she drives me a sprint batty. upload that on outstanding of faculty artwork and a job and you'd be crying on your mommy you made a mistake

Answer 5

Four years older is nothing, that's just an excuse your using to talk yourself out of being with her? Apparently it hasn't completely worked yet! Why do you think that is happening? Your "gut" feeling is telling you! Are you listening to it? Your letter pretty much tells us, and so I think you already know. In the past 6 mos. have you done some of the things you've wanted to do? I doubt it! By the way, I hope you haven't waited to long!

Answer 6

Yes you did the right thing for yourself because if you feel like you can't give her everything that she would want then don't feel bad you are being true to yourself as well as to her...it might not seem like it was a good choice but in the end you did something that was considerate for both party's feelings.

Answer 7

* You can either forget her and move on or go back to her and ask her to marry you if you love her before it is too late and she finds someone else and if it doesnt work out at least you tried and wont spend the rest of your life wondering ; what if ? *

Answer 8

If you cant stop thinking about her and you had a fabulous time, I think you shouldn't have broken up, I think you should tell her what you told us, if she was your soul mate go get her back!!

Answer 9

Does ages matter to you?
You don't want marry because of her age older than you?

I don't see why you don't want to marry her....

Answer 10

If your not ready for marriage than move on.