Why do I do this?

Question

Why do I prefer to date a man who seems a decade older than me? I'm in my 20's I always feel attracted to the guy who is a womanizer or controlling? why is that, is that normal?

Answer 1

if these guys are good to you and you really care for them dont let their age bother you. You cares what other people think.

Answer 2

"what part of you wants to be controlled?" That is the question I ask you.
A lot of women fall victim to the womanizer/controlling person through no fault of their own. You have the ability to make better choices in life.
Sometimes insecurities make us fall for the womanizer. After all, it is flattering when a man is telling you flattering things about yourself when you don't feel like your "'all that". As far as the controlling part goes, Insecurities play a big part in that as well.
Sometimes, when we are children, we are neglected to an extent by our parents. Or maybe they don;t tell us the things that we need to hear to help re-assure us about ourselves when we really don't know who we are. You may be looking for the accepting and loving "daddy" that you never had. Thus why you fall for the controlling aspect of this person...
I am not saying that in a sicko type of fashion, and by no means am I implying that you want special attention from your father. What I am saying, is that sometimes when we miss out on certain things in our childhood, we subconsciously try to fill the void by welcoming the same type of men into our lives. You need to break the cycle. Find out what it is that you are insecure about and find a way to get through it so that you can surround yourself with healthy and loving relationships.

Answer 3

Is your father the same general way?
It has been said that a male will marry a woman more like his mother and a female will marry a man more like their father.
Being attracted to a older person is not so bad, the controlling is not what should be in the relationship

Good luck and be careful

Answer 4

The mere fact that you question why is important. You recognize a problem or at least a concern. The term, family of origin, refers to your childhood ie. how your parents behaved, events you witnessed, family communication, etc. In short you are the person you are today because of your experiences (or those you should have had) and genetics. Typically people act in adulthood how their role models (generally parents) acted while there were growing up. Your mother didn't just teach you how to brush your teeth but also how to have romantic relationships and your father should have modeled what to look for in a partner. You didn't mention if you have been abused but this typically sets the person up to continue to be a victim. In fact, victimizers, like the other men you have dated, may have sought you out. They are really good at finding the perfect victim. I would reccomend that you consider psychotherapy to help understand yourself better and have a healthy relationship.

Answer 5

huh weird my dads 34 and datin a 22 or 23 year old. strange. but that duznt mean im attracted to 23 yr olds! im only 13


dont freak out if u love the man, who cares?

Answer 6

No, you have low self worth.and low self esteem..
Don't think you deserve better and probably have a touch of masochism.. pheeeeew!