I had dinner with an old friend this evening. Somehow we ended up discussing gay issues. I have generally felt that though it seems foreign to me, gay is not a life style choice but is an orientation. I mean why would someone choose to be something that would cause them so much grief in society? My friend, who is more conservative than I thought, replied that pedophiles are oriented to be pedophiles but that doesn't make it right. I didn't quite know what to say. My quick reply was that it was different because it involves children, and whether homosexual or heterosexual, it was certainly wrong to have sex with a child. She acknowledged that point (thank God) but continued to ask, other than the obvious wrongness of being with a child sexually, how do the two differ. It seems she was basically arguing that both are orientations but neither should be acted upon. Any thoughts on how to reply further to her?
2007-03-08 16:06:56 · 8 answers · asked by PDY 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Please spare me the comments re: the fact that most pedophiles are hetero - we know that. No one is making that comparison. And please, no more comments calling my friend names. She's not an idiot, she's uninformed. Please spare me the rude crap.
2007-03-08 17:33:15 · update #1
Answer her like this: Homosexuality is a sexual preference, i.e being attracted to the same sex. Pedophilia is a sexual disorder. i.e pedophiles (gay or straight) are sexually attracted to children. She is right in the fact that neither pedophiles nor homosexuals choose to be the way they are, but there is a definite distinction. Pedophilia is considered a psychological disorder where homosexuality is merely a sexual preference.
2007-03-08 20:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by feel_like 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It comes down to two issues: Harm, and consent.
Two homosexual adults having consensual sex are not harming anybody.
An adult having sex with a child harms the child. A child is not capable of consenting.
Looking at is purely as an orientation issue, rather than one of actions (orientation does not always mean one acts on it), there is a clear difference. A homosexual who acts on his urges with a willing partner is merely expressing his sexuality in a natural and healthy way.
A pedophile has an orientation that is inherently harmful. If he acts on it, it harms his victim. If he does not, he suffers from the frustration of not being able to act on it. There is no healthy outlet or outcome for the pedophile; both are readily available for the homosexual.
2007-03-09 02:09:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best I can think of would be to tell her that same sex relationships (between adults, of course) are based on love and companionship and common interests, etc just like heterosexual relationships. On the other hand pedophiles act not out of love at all, or a desire to be with a person you care for. I honestly couldn't tell you what they act from, but it is certainly nothing pure and good. The acts committed by pedophiles are damaging and quite frankly disgusting. I myself think that pedophilia is a sickness. I wish I could help you, but this argument is so ridiculous and nonsensical (is that even a word? Oh well) to me that I have a hard time really even trying to comment on it. I do thank you though for letting your friend know that there is a vast difference between what consenting adults do, and what sick, cruel, twisted people do to children. Thank you.
2007-03-08 20:10:24 · answer #3 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all due respect for you, tell your friend she's an idiot. 95% of pedophiles are straight men & there is a BIG difference because first off when 2 gay people have a relationship it is wanted by 2 adults & second being gay is not wrong but being a child molester is
2007-03-08 17:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The differences is a Gay couple has made the choice to have sex and knows what is going on the child has not chosen it. And is unaware of what is going on.If they have chosen the act they think it is playing nasty.When I was a child playing with my girl cousins we would play nasty games.Never with an adult.We did not understand why we should not do it.Just not to be cot doing it.Dos that help?
2007-03-08 17:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she can't see the difference between a consensual sexual relationship between two adults of the same gender and an adult sexually molesting a child then there's little hope for her. It's a waste of time trying to debate this with someone of this mentality.
2007-03-08 17:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is great your friend has you in her corner, and really it sounds as if she is suffering from the delusions suffered by most. She has taken things that are believed to be generally true by a lot of people and taken them as fact.
The true stats of pedophilia with Gay Men as perpetrators is something under 5%, but like Male/Female rape, pedophilia is a crime about having ultimate control, not of sex.
2007-03-08 18:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone f***s a child, it hurts the child.
2007-03-08 18:48:48 · answer #8 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋