I believe my fiance's daughter has a mild form of autism.?

Question

She has just turned 13, doesn't call any friends on the phone ever, elects to sit by herself when the rest of the family is egaged in an activity, when you talk to or with her she is almost completely emotionless, she would rather write what she is feeling rather than express it verbally, she intently focuses on only what she wants for the moment and acts tormented when she doesn't get her way, she believes love is expressed by getting her way or recieving what she wants.
She had seizures as an infant and toddler, was born with water on the brain and has no respect for her mother or myself and we are the 2 adults that really care for her and the more we try the more she pulls away. Does this seem to be mild autistic behavior?

Answer 1

Sounds like a 13 year old to me. But always better to check with her doctor, maybe she's going through a difficult time.

Answer 2

It's possible it's one of the milder forms of autism but there is obviously something wrong. Any time a child demonstrates a lack of affect it needs to be looked into. Here's a link to some information on autism.
http://www.healthscout.com/ency/68/317/main.html
It's can be difficult to diagnose but that's in part because it's generally diagnosed in very young children. Since she is older it may be simpler. Mild forms can be dealt with in various ways and she will simply need some help learning which is best for her.

Has she ever been evaluated for any sort of brain damage resulting from the hydrocephalis (water on the brain)?

If she had seizures as a toddler I'd wonder more about a seizure disorder. Some petit mal seizures can appear as you described. Does this description sound accurate to you?
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Absence (petit mal seizures). These seizures are characterized by staring, subtle body movement and brief lapses of awareness. They're usually brief, and typically no confusion or sleepiness occurs when the seizure is over.
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This link will take you to descriptions of all kinds of seizures. If they sound right to you I'd call a doctor and get a referral to a good neurologist. There are good medications available that can improve the quality of life for her and everyone around her. I think an evaluation is an important first step. If you can describe her behavior to the doctor he should be able to tell you what sort of tests would help get a diagnosis. Generally it's nothing too scary or anything and it should be covered by insurance. You just can't move forward without getting a doctor's opinion and it should be done as soon as you can for her sake.

Seizure disorders
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/epilepsy/DS00342/DSECTION=2

Good luck with her and call a doctor as soon as you can so something can be done before she gets much older. The willful behavior can get very difficult as she gets older unless you get a handle on the situation now.

Take care!

Answer 3

Sounds like you've entered the realm of teenagerhood. She is not autistic... although the things you mentioned could be cause for a learning disorder or other such things. the behaviors you described pretty much describes how the average teenage girl is. If anything she may be developing some situational depression. It's mostly a stage, but watch out that she isn't being harmful to herself physically. Watch for things like eating disorders too. Self esteem is usually way down around this age and she probably thinks you don't understand. I don't know exactly what you or she is going through but this is what i would have liked my parents to do for me. I would have liked them to give me a little space and not worry too much about me being alone but to also let me know that i could talk to them without being judged or punished. If she does come to you with her feelings don't point out how childish or silly they are... let her know that you're there for her if she needs to talk and that eventually the feelings will pass.

That's my view on it.
She sounds just like how i was as a teen. that's why i mentioned the depression issue. I had seriously bad depression in my teens... i was hospitalized for suicidal behavior several times and i still feel it every once in a while, but i can control it now.

I hope i helped you in some small way.
Renae

Answer 4

Ya know.... please don't listen to these people who have been responding to your question! You are concerned the child might have some level of Autisim, and these people who have been answering have been giving their opinion stating it sounds like normal 13 y/o behavior.

There are 2 major problems with what is going down here:

# 1. You should not be asking the opinion of the Yahoo Answers users on whether they think your fiance's daughter has Autism!!

# 2. The Yahoo Answers users should not be responding on what they think is responsible for the childs behaviors!!!

These people who are responding to your question, should be saying the same thing I am about to say to you. That is:

Get busy convincing the girls parents to bring the child to a behavioral specialist!


They should not be possibly leading you in a direction that the childs behavior is just normal teenage behavior. These people should be encouraging you to get some proffesional help for the girl!! They are NOT doctors and shouldn't give opinions when it comes to the young childs health! You know the child, your gut feeling should be enough to peruade the parents of this child to have their daughter seen by a specialist.

Good Luck,
Matty

Answer 5

No, she sounds exactly like me, although a bit ungrateful, and I am certainly not autistic.

She probably doesn't want to open up to you because you're new in her life, in addition to being a person who doesn't open up very much to begin with.

As for being self-centered and only focusing on what she wants, that is typical 13-year-old behavior, and it should definitely NOT be reinforced. She'll definitely act tormented if she doesn't get her own way, both because she is at "that age", and because she may have been taught to act that way through her mother's actions. Just don't give her what she wants and tell her to suck it up and act like an adult. She'll probably cry and throw a fit, but most girls her age do.

Additionally -- do you want to be her father, or just her mother's husband? If you love her too, let her know. Take an interest in her life. Buy her ice cream once in a while. Ask her how her day went. Give her advice. Don't expect her to open up to you for a few years, though. Expect rejection. She'll realize that you love her eventually.
If you just want to be her mother's husband, you should probably just take a hike.

Answer 6

Not autism, lack of discipline maybe. So she doesn't act out like many do, making fools of themselves. Autism is a name they give to children who don't want to be the social butterfly. This child is using her talents at writing, ask her or have your daughter ask to see her writing sometime, you may have a future best selling author in your family.

Answer 7

Yes it does but its really hard to say without more information. At first reading this, Asbergers Syndrome hit me by the behavior you identified. It is the autism spectrum but is more prevalent with males. Good luck!

Answer 8

Doesn't sound anything like autism.

Sounds like a 13 year old from a broken marriage

Answer 9

Getting her way and demanding what she wants is normal teenage behavior.

It seems that you do not like the girl very much. She may sense that. Abused children are often withdrawn.

Answer 10

Not at all. She sounds like she has some emotional and behavior problems, but not autism.