What does it mean after 20 yrs of marriage she says I need space?

Question

I have been what I thought happily married for 20 years then one day she says"I need space" I'm not sure what that means and she says it's not me it's her? With 3kids and a house she needs space to do what?

Answer 1

needing space, thought most people who say it think it is literal, may indicate that she just needs to feel -- independent again. by independent i dont mean actually alone, but feeling a sense of self.

she perhaps needs to rediscover her own happiness again, through doing things that are uniquely her own. This may mean having more "me-time" for a while. as a husband, i would respect that need but would not let my spouse seriously be too alone because truthfully an idle mind is the playground for the devil. when people think they need to be free they sometimes think they need to be brand new, and shrug their responsibility which is not okay.

talk to her and ask how you can help find it is shes looking for. what did she used to do before you all got married or had kids? perhaps help her rediscover a hobby. its a step toward finding that inner peace she may be looking for.

Answer 2

I hope you have been helping her around the house and with the kids if not then start so she has time to herself. She would not have said anything if nothing is wrong so give her the room. Clean the house cook do the dishes and take the kids away for most of the day some where fun and leave her at home but let her know what day so she can plan. She just needs time for herself kids will drive you crazy once and a while and a couple of breaks a month won't hurt. Give her flowers and a card that says I love you can help too.

Answer 3

It may be the case where she feel like her life hasn't been about nothing but wife, mother, homemaker. She may just be a little depressed and need some self fulfillment things. Sometimes as woman we go through this thing where we fill like we are stuck and just need some self improvement. whether it's shopping, a new hair due, a new hobby, more education etc.. If it's not something similar than maybe it is someone else. Do the two of you get personal time away from the kids, bills, home responsibilities? Just reevaluate the situation, it could be as simple as these things.

Answer 4

sometimes after being a housemom and doing the routine with kids everyday gets a little fustrating. Even though theyre ur kids, they can bother you. Just let her relax and give her her time. It is No big deal and it happneds to anyone once in a while. Or it could be that she is on her woman thing and is having mood swings. Anyways when she acts like this,, make sure to help around the house and take some weight off her shoulders

Answer 5

She's probably dissatisfied with her marriage or her life and wants to explore what's out there or find herself. Did you two get married at an early age? People can grow apart. Often children and the responsibilities of marriage and parenthood can be overwhelming. I suggest counselling ASAP. With 20 yrs of marriage and 3 kids, you should try to save the marriage. If she refuses and does not show interest in you, maybe you would be doing yourself a favor if you gave her room to explore, but do not allow her to use you.

Answer 6

Maybe she is going through one of those itch periods when everything in her life seems dull and boring, i'm guessing your kids must be old enough now and she may feel lost as she doesn't have to worry about the kids so much anymore. Talk to her and ask her what is going on and romance her a little, take her out for dinner just the 2 of you and buy her some flowers and chocolates. Women always go through these thoughts and mainly because they don't feel appreciated or loved anymore. Being a mum and wife isn't all she was put here for she needs to be herself again not just mum.

Answer 7

that's a question you need to ask her. unfortunately sometimes when people have been together for so long they grow apart and even sometimes fall out of love. maybe it's just not there or she's seeing someone else who knows. i would sit down and talk to her ask HER what she means by needing space. when someone says that it's usually not a good sign but you need to listen and respect how she feels and what she says. see if she would like to seek marriage counseling and after watching oprah on wed who knows what she's thinking. but just be prepared to accept the fact that your marriage may be over. i hope it works out for the best. take care.

Answer 8

She is having a hard time with something, don't assume the worst, just be supportive and listen to the woman. If you push her right now, you will push her away. Give her space to deal with what she is going through, let her work it out, when she is ready she will let you know.

Answer 9

Well, everybody needs a break now and then. Maybe she's depressed, or maybe you just need to take her on a nice date or vacation. Maybe you can offer to take care of the kids for a weekend while she goes to a spa. Don't assume right away that she's going to ask for a divorce; hope for the best. :) Best wishes.

Answer 10

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