I am in middle school and i wanna know why kids in middle school can change so much. the people that i used to hang around with and talk to now care more about popularity, fashion and physical looks and hanging around wit popular people only. for example, i have a friend i went to elementary school with that was always accepting people in. she would be friends with any kind of person. but ever since she went to middle school, she changed. she went from being a friendly person, to a person who cares only about being friends with the popular kids. she never talks to most of the people who were her friends in elementary school unless they're popular too. is middle school just a popularity contest? is it only in middle school or will i face it again in high school? is there a way i can change myself so i can be friends with anyone?
2007-03-08 14:38:29 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You sound exactly like me. I have been wondering for a very long time WHY these people care so much. For starters, drop your friend. I'm sorry, but this will only get worse as time goes on. I've been in middle school 2 yrs. (yes, I'm in 6th), and my friends have changed SO much since then. I can't stand half of them, and the rest have turned into fakes. Second of all, NEVER go changing yourself! You'll end up just like them, and that's what you're trying to avoid. Last year, I completely changed myself to fit in and to make other people happy. But you can't live life trying to please other people, because they take you for granted. And you'll never end up happy living up to everyone else's standards. You're fine the way they are, and if they don't accept you now, you're better off never having them in your life. When they dropped me because I decided to finally be myself, I went into a very emotional phase. I had 0 friends, and I was practically crying myself to sleep every night. You don't need to put yourself through that. It's not a healthy situation to be in. All those kids do is stereotype, gossip, make fun of people, and go through life thinking looks are what matters. You know different, so stick to that. What grade are you in? I was guessing you were in the 5th, since you said ",...now that I'm in middle school...." Anyways, you can e-mail me if you want at xabby_06x@yahoo.com. If I don't answer right away, it's because I'm at my dad's, and he doesn't have a computer.
2007-03-08 15:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by Abby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Middle school *is* just a popularity contest, for some... This *will* happen in high school, but less often. And...no if *everyone* is your friend, that person probably has an enemy that's your friend... and conflict will rise. But I'm sure you could be friendly with most people.
Middle School/Junior High/ is Survival of the Most Popular
Life is also a popularity contest.
You'll be crushed if your not hanging with the right people, I should know....I was crushed and outcast. But I didn't care and I like myself just fine...
2007-03-08 14:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by killingmequickly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let start by saying never change yourself! If you do you are not any better off then they are. See when I was in middle school I was fat. But I didn't let it bother me. I stayed the way I wanted to. Beautiful on the inside and ugly on the outside. Sure they made fun of me but I just considered the source. Following people will only get you in trouble or hurt someone. You sound more mature then most middle school kids. Then when I got to high school, some how I lost the weight (my mom said the same thing happened to her) and everyone wanted to be my friend. I remembered those same people (most of them were guys) who made fun of me. I did give them a chance (never dated them) because you have to feel sorry for them. For they are the ones who were lonely inside. Reach your hand out and be compassionate for the less fortunate. Lead by example.
P.S. I was the class president too. I didn't have to get there by stooping to their level. You will come into your own. Good luck sweety. And don't forget to have fun! Your only young for a short while and your old for the rest of your life. Enjoy what you can.
2007-03-08 15:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's good news, and bad news.
The bad news is, yes, you face this in high school, college, and the rest of your life.
The good news is that not all of the changes will be bad. See, life is all about change. As we grow, we try new things, learn new things, and change. You're changing, too.
Take this time to try new things. You'll meet new people interested in the same things you are. You'll learn new stuff. You'll have more fun. Keep in touch with the old friends - over time, you might find that you've all outgrown each other, or you might find that you like to hang with some of them from time to time.
Is middle school a popularity contest? Depends on what you focus on. If you focus on how popular people are, then it's all about that. If you focus on trying as many different things as you can, meeting new people, doing new stuff, then it's all about learning more about yourself and what, and who, you enjoy.
Change yourself to be friend with anyone? Not worth the effort. What is worth the effort is finding out more about who you really are - what's important to you, what you enjoy, who you like to be around and why - and finding people who like you without you having to twist yourself into a pretzel to get approval.
People who don't change over time get very, very boring. Everyone else grows and changes. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes not - but it does keep life from getting dull.
2007-03-08 14:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear of a thing called puberty?
Look, everyone matures at their own pace. Don't rush yourself. Growing up is a beautiful thing. Life is process. Life is change. If you're lucky this process never ends.
Never change yourself to accomodate other people. Only do that if it makes you happy. Look around your school. I'm sure not everyone is so different from you. Maybe it's time you made some new friends.
2007-03-08 14:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Pleo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't change you will be happier if you just be yourself. I know middle school is hard. I remember it well. I made new friends and those friendships carried me through high school. After that though everything changed again and I had to make a whole new set of friends.
2007-03-08 14:44:24 · answer #6 · answered by Chrissy #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could probably be because students want to be popular or be accepted into cliques & etc. They want to become a part of something & they feel they should change they`re personality, style etc. to be accepted or to fit in.
Why middle school students start? Because they are now figuring & getting to their mind that they`re older & can make they`re own decisions, as a student youu know?
LOL. Well yeah :)
2007-03-08 14:42:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off dont change yourself just becaue everyone else is changing, feel great your one of the few staying faithful to who they are. middle school is the time where everyone is changing cuz of hormones and most kids this age feel insecure and need to PRETEND they are popular. once you get into high school itll cool down a bit but itll be there still. just dont change and youll find people who are just like you. when you get older youll be happy you didnt change and wasnt shallow like everyone else.
2007-03-08 14:42:54 · answer #8 · answered by luckyduck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is a popularity contest. When you get into the real world you'll experience it a lot. Kiss ups usually get the promotions at work, unfortunately.
You can change yourself with discipline.
Best of luck to you!
2007-03-08 14:41:48 · answer #9 · answered by Misty Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
popularity contests happen everywhere, including high school. Just be yourself, and people who have similar interests will find you, so there is no need to be friends with everyone
2007-03-08 14:42:01 · answer #10 · answered by NatKi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋