I am a mother who share custody of two kids. I have been living in the States for the last 8 yrs. I have left him due to mental/physical abuse. I let my ex-husband have the physical custody for my children since all my family aren't living in the States. So, it was the best interest for my kids. Now, he makes 3 times as much as I do and he is happily remarried to a very good housewife. I just want to keep things happy for the kids. However, he keeps sending me nasty letters monthly and is now taking me to court to get more child support out of me. I do take my kids oversea every year to spend time with my family which I pay the entire amount since I think it's necessary. I don't mind paying to support kids even though I buy almost all their clothing. With the travel cost, now it looks like I will have to pay 30% of my paycheck to the Child Support. I'm also in grad school to further advance myself. Any advice?
2007-03-08 14:24:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
unless there is a good reason for him to have the child support increased they are not going to do it. save the nasty letters and bring them to court with you. just tell the judge that he is doing this out of spite. They will go by how much he makes and how much you make also. But like i said, they won't raise the child support unless the circumstances have changed. I have been there and I gave custody of my son to his father when he was 1yr old and I just recently got custody back six months ago. he is 9 yrs old. So I understand.
2007-03-08 14:31:41 · answer #1 · answered by dolphinnut798 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yako46, thank you for your previous message.
Anyway, I cannot honestly believe that your ex-husband had the nerve to do that to you. You definitely should speak with a lawyer who specializes in divorce and in the child support law. You can try googling child support laws in your state.
I am by no means well-versed in the law, but it is my understanding that the intent of the law is to provide the WOMAN with assistance in raising the kids since in a large majority of cases, the woman gets custody of the kids and therefore child support to help pay for them. Also, when there is real estate involved, the woman should be entitled to 50% of all combined family assets.
If your ex- is making 3 times what you are, I tend to doubt that he should be receiving any child support, especially since he is remarried now. It looks like he is now trying to financially abuse you as well.
Read up on standard divorce and child support practices. Please contact a lawyer you can trust.
You can also consider either moving to a new address, or changing your address to a Post Office PO box so he can't find you.
2007-03-09 04:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by Jazz In 10-Forward 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't need to be sending you nasty letter.
If you think he was physically abusive...then why are they even living there???? That makes no sense...
Also, the court never makes people pay more than thier share(in my opinion).
It takes a lot to run a household. Just because you pay for most of thier clothing...don't really mean anything.
It just means he pays for electricity, water, groceries, he has to pay for gas to take them to school, and any other activity. Also, he possibly has to pay for childcare. And any gift or travel you give them is not actually child support...
Since you mentioned that he has a new wife, have you considered the fact that THey are not her kids. Any money that she brings into the family...is not actually your childs. She is not the mother.
Also, I don't think that travel expense should be added anywhere into childsupport...YOU NEED TO MOVE CLOSER!!!
In my opinion you are being treated fairly according to what you have said. If you don't agree then go to court and let them sort it out! I think you should be more concerned with the fact that he physically abused you...and now may even be doing the same to your kids.
2007-03-08 16:11:59 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa Kay 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whoever has the kids gets child support and since he has them, he is entitled to it. It's really for them though. I would get a good lawyer and hopefully you won't have to pay more than what you already do. What does your family not living in the states have anything to do with having custody of your children?? Aren't your children your family??
2007-03-08 14:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by lovin' life... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES and you should have been paying it from the day you moved out of the house. Also you have to pay half of medical cost, clothing, book fees, half of any cost of activities the kids are involved in. Be careful if he makes that much, he could go buy the some expensive shoes, and send you a bill for half. Good luck
2007-03-08 14:32:41 · answer #5 · answered by David J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately the child support enforcement division (where he goes to get your amount raised) is nothing more than a cashier stand- they don't care AT ALL about what he does with the money or how much he has- it's based on YOUR income and if it's low, they'll still take you for as much as they can get- there is nothing human about the child support system.
the good news is that he can only have it reviewed once a year. check your local laws- here they can only charge 25% of your pre-tax income up to $6,000 monthly. if you can't afford a lawyer, there are some who do pro-bono OR you can "consult" with a lawyer and tell them you're searching for lawyers. 20 lawyers in our city know our story and we only used one, but got essentially free advice from the other 19.
good luck, we'll pray for you.
2007-03-08 14:30:52 · answer #6 · answered by austin_texan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It completely depends on the laws of your state. Where I live, they look at the collective income of both parents and compare to state chart on what is should cost to raise the number of kids. Each pays their % based on their total income. So in my state, you'd not pay much in the way of child support. Hire a good attorney if you've not already. You can also research it on your own - contact local court, family division, and ask them where you can get child support guideline information. Best of luck to you
2007-03-08 14:33:20 · answer #7 · answered by J D Jr. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to a lawyer ASAP. Child support orders can and should be altered when circumstances change. They still may want you to pay something but not 30 percent of your check each month.
2007-03-08 14:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always hard when you are thinking in the best interest of your children, sometimes doing the right thing isnt always easy . But no matter what continue living your life in the fullest way you can to pass this ordeal. stay in grad school and if he is what you say he this new wife wont last.GOOD COMES TO THOSE WHO WAIT AND ARE GOOD
2007-03-08 14:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by jessica s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hire an attorney and be sure to keep the letters to show the judge. You can request a reduction in payment based on hardship.
2007-03-08 14:37:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋