Have a wonderful wife, but have massive crush with another woman. What to do?

Question

I'm lucky to have a wonderful and beautiful wife that loves me and that has been supportive in the good and the bad times, but I have a huge crush with another woman, I can't get her out of my head. I like this woman for reasons that go beyond my understanding, she might not be as beautiful or as smart, but she has the sweetest eyes I have ever seen. What should I do? I guess that nothing.

I truly appreciate your comments and your concern, but unfortunately I have always been a practitioner of contrarian thinking, when the crowd has an overwhelming bet on one way I like to go against... it's part of my nature.

Answer 1

Well if you have this huge of a crush on another woman, then there must be something..even if its small...that you arent happy with in your wife.

Also if you want to stay with your wife and not ruin what you have, cut off all contact with this other woman.

If you think something might happen with this other woman, TELL YOUR WIFE ASAP. You dont want to hurt her if anything were to happen!! always talk to your wife about your feelings. never hide anything from her that if she found out later would hurt her!

Answer 2

Man oh man........what a pickle. How green is that grass on the far side I can't have. Which head are you thinking with?Something is wrong if you feel this way, maybe your wife doesn't do it for you anymore. Don't be scum. Decide what your going to do, then let your wife know what your gonna do, BEFORE anything happens. By your own account, she loves you and has been there for you, she deserves that much. You need to decide or let it be, just remember there is no turning back if you cheat or tell your wife so make sure what it is you want to accomplish, like her telling you to hit the road. Fantasies of others should be left in the mind. Think about this...........If you feel this way......maybe just maybe she has a crush on someone too. hmmmmm? How do you feel?

Answer 3

This happens all the time. DON'T tell your wife. It's selfish and hurtful to unburden yourself for what amounts to only a passing attraction (unless, of course, you intend to act on it).

The thing you can do (and this is PROVEN to work) is to begin to admire your wife. No kidding. The more you lavish love and attention on her the more it will actually change your feelings toward her. And you say yourself how wonderful she is.

And you must cut yourself off from the other woman. It will hurt of course but you have to be a real man about this. You cannot let your emotions rule your life. Stuff like this wrecks weak people and makes a mess of the innocent and never turns out the way it feels like it will. Promise pal, next year it will be the same story with somebody new. It's all in the biology and not to be taken seriously.

See it for what it is and let it go. Return your energy to the union you made with your wife. You seem like an intelligent guy so don't blow this thing now.

Get a book called "Hot Monogamy". Might help.

Answer 4

Since you ask the question, which I felt that you didn't want advice, you just wanted people to know how wh0rish you are. I hope that beautiful wife of yours, get smart enough to throw your affair having @ss out on your ear, get you for alimony, abandonment ect... You think the grass is greener on the other side and all the while you are making your bed in hell. Well go right ahead FIRE CROTCH! Hope she'll be everything you don't want and more while your wife will move on with someone that will be faithful and loving to her. If you knew you was this type of person, why didn't you leave your wife life alone? Why do men or people like you always set out to destroy someones life with no regrets until your sorry @ss get caught. Good luck in Hades, hot pants, don't burn nobody.

Answer 5

I think you will likely do something stupid and create a situation whereby you will regret your actions. You said yourself that you do not go w/ the majority flow so that tells me you are looking for answers that will justify your actions or your desire for certain actions.

Go screw the hell out of the other woman. Hurt your wife beyond repair. End up divorced. Change your life forever.
Be happy for the 5 minutes (or less) of sex with the other woman. Your wonderful and beautiful soon-to-be ex-wife will find someone else to love and support in good times and bad and you will just be a dark blotch in her life.

Answer 6

Close your eyes and stop looking at hers. You're lusting after this woman! You need to LOVE your WIFE! Pick up your feet and start running so fast in the other direction before you loose your "luck", and your "wonderful and beautiful wife that loves you." You need to repent, and give that wife of yours the biggest and most romantic night/day she has ever experienced; and realize what you have before you become corrupted with this intrusive mind devouring, marriage wrecking behaviour . Plus your contrary behaviour is just your excuse and permission to make wrong choices, coupled with rebellion. Which means you know exactly what you want and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks including your wife, very scary. At the end of it all you are the only one who is accountable for your actions and will reap the rewards of your undoing. Your wife is completely clueless of who or what you are and that's bad, really bad.

Answer 7

My husband and I have had many threesomes and moresomes. The whole point of anything group sex related is for everybody to just have fun. Putting on stupid rules about who can touch who and not do this or that is just asking for trouble. I mean why would you even want to do it if you don't get to touch the other person but your wife does? That's the dumbest thing I've heard in a long time. When a woman tells you that, she's basically saying that she wants to have sex with other people but doesn't want you to. When my husband and I have any sort of group sex we never have any strange "in-bed" rules like that except to have fun and feel good. But then again we're.....well.....we're basically sex freaks, lol. I would demand that you be allowed to have fun in the threesome too and not just be a spectator. Either that don't do it at all. To ask for a threesome but for you not to participate is beyond selfish...

Answer 8

The best way to handle this situation, since you have a loving and supportive wife, is tell her about the crush - she'll take care of it real quick. You are lusting after another woman. That is wrong. Avoid the other woman, or truly tell your wife your feelings about the other woman.

Answer 9

You may pride yourself on being a rebel but do you pride yourself on being a fool? You have a wonderful wife but you've fallen for a pair of eyes. There's a person behind those eyes. She may never live up to the qualities you found in your wife but you'd sacrifice your marriage to a loyal supportive wife for a chance to snag this new person. Wow. You do have a strategy here: your wife has made the mistake of being loyal and supportive through good times and bad to a guy who's shallow, stupid, and doesn't deserve her. I hope your wife bounces back and finds a new life separate from you - you take her for granted and she deserves better.

Answer 10

Your wife sounds like a beautiful woman. You sound like you take your wife for granted, and don't respect her like you need too. Your wife has the hands that will catch you when you fall. The grass alway's looks greener on the other side. But, trust me, it's a mirage. You can't take fire into your bosom and not be burned. Cheat on your spouse and you will pay one way or another. I work in healthcare and I have the unique opportunity to see people from various walks of life who are STUCK (if not for the grace of god) in vegetative states. Some are quadraplegics, have full blown aids and a host of other debilitating health problems. It's not my right to judge them, but God only knows what they did in their life to have ended up where they are, and trust me, they are suffering. Remember, God is not mocked. He already told you, leave your mother and father a cleave to your wife. Choose life and do yourself a favor and let this one ride. You have been warned! I know the message is strong, but, I am trying to help you. I see this everyday.