Sexuality issues?

Question

Ok, so I'm bi confused. I could be bi, straight, or gay. I really don't know and I'm so tired of trying to figure it out! I'm 14...

So anyway, obviously im not comfortable with my sexuality. the fact that i am not confortable gives me a anxiety where i get really nervous around any boys or when im too close to a boy because i worry about other boys looking at me and calling me gay and stuff.....and then i would have a bad name for myself...

I'm on prozac for anxiety, and I'm really scared to tell the therapist that I believe this is one of the reasons why I have anxiety...because i could be gay or bi and I dont want other people to know what im going through...especially my family! but mostly the people at my school too because they might know someone from my family...im just so confused. anyone have any suggestions?

Answer 1

I don't agree with people saying that you shouldn't be anxious if you are keeping it to yourself. How else would someone act when they were faced with a life changing secret? You are justified in having anxiety. Now, don't be scared to tell your therapist. First of, they have a duty to keep your conversations private, providing they do not uncover some information that would lead to you causing yourself physical harm.

If your therapist knows all of the issues, then they can better help you find a path to take and provide you with sound advice.

At 14 you are still at a very impressionable age and I'm quite sure you still have alot of soul searching to do. It is entirely normal to question what you are feeling. I did for many years and while I'm still not 100% out, I'm out to those who make a difference in my life. Those who accept me for who and what I am and love me for it no matter what.

Don't think you have to come raging out of the closet declaring that you are bisexual or gay. You don't. In fact, you may just be experiencing curiosity, which is also completely normal... your not the first person to do it and won't be the last. But don't get so bent out of shape that you are fighting an internal battle. Let if flow, explore your sexuality, talk with you therapist. Do you have a really close friend? Talk with them about it... they may be sharing the same feelings that you do.

But seriously, talk with your therapist and they can give you an unlimited amount of information and resources to help you. And be COMPLETELY honest with them, when they ask you questions. Remember, its just between you and them.. no one else has to find out unless YOU want them too.

Are you close with one of your parents? If you are, you may just inquire with them about it. When I finally told my Mom, she said that she already knew. But the great thing about it was, she never asked me, never condemned me. Actually, she cried and told me that she was so happy that I trusted her enough and that our relationship was strong enough that I could share that with her and not have to hide it or pretend.

I wish you all the best and just know, that you aren't alone. You'll be ok, just give it time!

Answer 2

I can easily understand how crazy and confusing sexuality is. :)

Honestly, you don't have to label yourself. Yes, sometimes labels Do actually help, but something they hinder. Sexuality is an all encompassing thing, there are so many branches of it. All the bad hype sexuality gets just makes it worse.

You must understand that being bisexual or gay is a bad thing. It's not, don't let anyone tell you different.

Have you read anything about this? You should check out a few books/sites on understanding sexuality. When you get used to and comfortable with it then it's so easy, but right now it's crazy. It really, really helps reading these things. It helps you to know that you're not the only one going through it, understanding it, etc.

I think it would help you to tell your therapist about this. As a therapist I highly doubt a teenager being gay is a surprise or shock. For one, you're taking a step to being open/accepting about this, two, you're not keeping it inside. Talking about it is good. It's so hard to come out, but once you do it clears the air. Some people won't like it, there will always be people to support and love you.

I have to say, If you tell your therapist about it and if your therapist talks about it in a negative light then that therapist wouldn't be such a good therapist. In other words, don't let one (or a million!) homophobic people let you off.

No Matter what you do, say, or who you are there will always be someone who won't like you, who will try to give you a bad name, who will pick on you for any and every reason. Using that as an excuse to not be yourself is cowardly, and it hurts SO much.

Answer 3

RELAX!!!
You are young and the whole sexual feelings thing is quite new to you. It will take time and a bit of getting to know yourself before you figure it all out.

There is nothing wrong with being gay or straight or bi, its just how we're made and there's nothing you can do but accept who you are. Who you are sexually is no ones business but who you choose to tell, so try not to worry about what others are thinking about you. Chances are, you are so worried that you are thinking that other people are seeing/thinking things that they haven't even noticed.

Anything you tell your therapist about your sexuality is private information and cannot be discussed with your family unless you give permission. If you feel the need to talk to someone other than or in addition to the therapist, try a school counselor or a trusted and open minded relative.

I would definately suggest talking to someone, a trusted adult. You seem to need guidance and a bit of comfort. Theres no need to go through all these emotions alone and you might be surprised to find how common your situation is.

Answer 4

yeah, calm down! Being gay isn't the end of the world. You like who you like. Just relax. You're only 14, what's the big rush? I think you should tell your therapist. They can't tell anyone what you tell them, so why worry?

Your therapist is there to help you, not harm you. If you're so worried about your friends and family, just casually ask them what they think about gay marriage. If they ask why you care, just shrug and say you were reading something about it online are just curious as to what they'll say.

When you're 14, your hormones sometimes get outta wack, so you may not even be gay. Just chill, alright? Bein gay aint gonna matter for **** if you've collapsed from a panic attack. Stop worrying so much, alright?

If you want, you can email me if you need someone to talk to. I allow both email and IM...but I never get on IM, so its pretty pointless XD

Answer 5

You're 14 years old you have the rest of your life to figure your life out and how you want to be. You don't have a choice to be gay/bi it's how you think you feel about boys. If you dream and think about being with other boys then you're most likely gay/bi. If not then don't worry.

Answer 6

Well #1 you aren't expected to have the answers at 14---I don't have them at 58!!
Nobody is really gonna notice what you are doing because everybody thinks that they are all worried about other people looking at them the same way..
If you are gay...that's okay...but I think you should discuss this with your therapist...You might be amazed at how much better you feel afterward..."a coward dies a thousand deaths"...don't think about it just tell him/her..--get it over with...it may be nothing but anxiety..

Answer 7

You're young the answer will come to you...soon. I honestly think this is something you should share with your therapist. It's just you and your therapist in the room when you speak, get it off of your chest. Who knows your probably just going through some strange sexual experimentation stage. I did at your age.

Answer 8

just relax and breathe when you think about it.
if you gay its okay.no need to get pressured to know what you are you fidn out when you get older

therapist usually tell your parents what you tell them

sometimes.just wait it a while

and if you still fill this way tell a true friend or blog it

so you can feel better about and be comfortable

or if you wanna to talk email me

thats if


your parent will be there for you,you can bbe afraid to come out

but only when you want to,you know when the time is right

Answer 9

As long as you keep it for yourself you should not be anxius, there are things that you do not need to say or do? sexuality is something that is private and you can come out whenever you are ready if you want to or never, but you are freaking out too early, keep things foryourself that is it