Some advice?

Question

Ok I know this sounds like the most stupid question ever, but here goes. I gave a guy my number and he's all I can think about, he won't actually get the number till tomorrow(Friday), a lot of people are concerned/mad for/at me because he is 20 I am 16. my mom is fine with it as long as we aren't doing "it"(and yes I am a firm believer in abstinence). Now the weekend is creeping up on me and I’m worried about his call. What do I say, I really like him but become friends first? So what, have him call so I can ask if we can become friends? I’m SO confused. And the worst part...I can't talk to any of my peers about it cause they go off on this you should be careful don't do this do that BS. I can talk to mom about it, but it's not the same. I really need some advice, anyone care to help?

He has my #, I don't have his.

Answer 1

You should act calm and allow pauses, dont think that you have to constantly be the one controlling the conversation. You should talk about whatever comes naturally, ask him questions about himself (people love talking about themselves).

If all else fails, make a list of questions to ask him about his family, his hobbies, his beliefs. You can use the list as a backup, but dont forget to let the conversation flow naturally.

Answer 2

When you are in high school 4 years seems like a lot, but in a few years it will not be so much. I think you are right in trying to be friends first.

Your friends are just trying to protect you and truthfully, they may be right, so use some caution. Make sure you go to very public places with him. Make sure you cover all the bases to take care of you.

Don't let him take you any place you are uncomfortable or to places you know are too grown up for you. There is plenty of time for that later. Be 16, act 16, don't try to be cool, just be yourself.

See where it takes you and let your friends in on what is going on. Ask them to monitor you and tell you if you are starting to change too much or getting into trouble, but ask them to support you throughout. That is what a friend does!

Good luck

Answer 3

Just be careful because the guy is a lot older than you. I know 4 years don't seem like a lot but there is a big difference in 16 and 20. If you really like the guy start out as friends. Hang out with him and have fun. Enjoy your friendship and let it slowly develop into something more. You are young, there is no point in rushing into things and most of the best relationships start out as friends.

Answer 4

OKay...your question is not stupid. Well if you like him alot as you say you do, then don't call. You gave him your number, if he doesn;t call you then he doesn't find you worth 'pursuing' now that's different from talking to. When a guy pursues a girl he feels that she is worth his time. Now not always, but when the girl is doing all the pursing, in the end it usually ends up being that the guy takes her for granted, and doesn't appreciate her for her worth. Sooo in a nut shell, you did enough pursing already, now it's time for you to sit back and WAIT. Be patient, and always hold on to your slef worth. Now let's talk about that other thing.........PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't talk to him. Your only 16! This man has 4 years of relationship experience over you, he is going to manipulate your mind, and body, and you in the end will lose sight of who you are. Your already turning against your friends who I'd imagine are only looking out for the best for you! Please if he doesn't call you don't try to push it, he'll just 'figuratively' cast you aside, and won't take you serioursly.

Answer 5

Tell him to call you back in two years. Four years difference is not bad if you are 18 or twenty or even older but at 16 you are not old enough to get involved with someone his age do you not have friends your own age? You need to take care of yourself and protect yourself it is time for you to have fun with friends go to dances and start looking at college life is one step at a time don't skip any steps you will miss when you are older :)

Answer 6

I'm 59 now, but had a youngster interested in me when I was 22 At first I thought, right, like Im't going to jail for kissing her goodnight. So I set down some ground rules:

1. All chaperoned moments when not in public.
2. No un-chaperoned moments until 18.
3. Meet with her Mom immediately for permission to go anywhere.

We dated when she graduated from HS and she broke it off because she wanted to go to all these parties but I had to be at work the next day, so we had to leave early. One day we left early and she changed cloths and went back to the party.

She was date-raped by some S***head from college using a knockout drug. Funny, she couldn't remember his name, even when she saw the pictures they took to keep her quite. She didn't tell me about this and her mother tried to but stopped and shut up. She broke up with me and later, much later, she explained why she broke up with me.

Too bad, I was just starting to get serious about her, but moved on.

Answer 7

i really anderstand you coz im 16 and i know haw it feels! my advice is to take his call and bs very confedens with your self when you talked! but about the friend ship frist? i don`t think so! If you like him ,why be friends? so ask him out or tell him you really into him! the guys in 20s they know haw to handel it when a girl tell them that! so goodluck with the call and remmber be very confedens with your talking and let me know what happens coz really cared

Answer 8

I am more concerned about the 20 year old. Dating you is illegal.
Sounds like you have smart friends.

Answer 9

you should yes, become friends first, and then once you both go to college, or at least graduate high school, you can start taking your relationship seriously. but be sure not to act eager, or he'll get uninterested in you.

Answer 10

relaxe darlin all you did is give him your number. you can talk to him all you want. just keep talkin with your mom as well. believe it or not she can realy have some great advice for you.. best of luck and have fun