MY PARTNER OF A 12 YR RELATIONSHIP LET ME AND OUR CHILDREN IN 2005 . AND MARRIED SOME OTHER WOMAN , IN THAT SAME YEAR . SOMETHING HE DID NOT DO WITH ME . HE HAD TELL ME THAT HE IS SUFFERING AND THAT I THINK HE IS HAVING A GOOD LIFE . THAT I NEVER WILL UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME . HE HAD TRY TO KISS ME AND BE WITH ME . BUT , I DON'T LET HIM HAVE HIS CAKE AND EAT IT 2 . HE HAD DONE THE WORSE THINGS A MAN COULD DO TO A WOMAN . VERBAL , FISICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE . AND IT HURTS . MY CHILDREN BLEIND ME FOR THEIR FATHER NOT BEEN HOME . THEY ARE 11- 6 YR OLD . THEY TREAT ME BAD . I AM 30 YR OLD AND LIVE IN NY . SINGLE WORKING MOTHER AND DO ANYTHING FOR MY KIDS . BUT , I BEEN TROUGH ALOT OF BAD THINGS . I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT ANY MORE . IS LIKE I WANT TO DIED TO NOT SUFFER ANYMORE .
2007-03-08 13:32:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You make me sad for you. You are right to let this man go from the point of view of not letting me have what he no longer deserves. I know you children are young but you might be surprised how intelligent they are. Tell them that you are very sorry that their dad has left home but he has found love and marriage with someone else, it is not you who wanted him to leave, he chose to leave. If the guy has any feelings for you tell him how the children feel and ask him to also talk to the children and tell them the same story as yourself. He can say he loves them but that he loves someone else and won't come back. I know it's hard but try to see the bright side of life, you are young and have lots of things to contribute to you children and the world. Talk to you a doctor about your feelings you might be suprised on how much help people might be able to give you. Good luck
2007-03-08 13:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still young and have plenty of time to raise your children and find a mate who will treat you better. Of course you can take it! Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get over it! Everyone has bad times during their lifetime and you're no worse off than most and better off than many. Stop playing the part of the victim. Tell that ex-husband jerk to get away from you! Then tell your kids that they will respect what you say and do as you ask. Get some nerve up girl and stop having a pity party. It's time to grow up and help your kids do the same!!
2007-03-08 14:14:03 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, having stayed in a marriage for 31 yrs and gone through everything possible with the ex, you don't have anything to complain about. You are the parent and if you let your kids treat you bad, then you should be angry with yourself. As far as their dad, you need to think of his leaving as a blessing to give you the chance to really have a decent and happier life. God is offering you an opportunity, and you are letting Satin guide you astray. Wake Up and do what's need to better you and your kids lives, things change with Prayer all the time.
2007-03-08 13:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear of your pain and suffering. When the other partner walks out of a relationship, it leaves so many unanswered questions and it is very disturbing, he walked away with a part of you and he left you nothing.
If he was abusive towards you, I glad hes gone so that he can't do it to you anymore. I'm proud of you for standing up for your rights. He has no respect for you by treating you this way. You might have loved him, but over all - the pain your feeling now, it will get better with time and it will heal. Remember - you can't let your kids down. Maybe your mother let you down but be there for them. They treat you in the same manner as their father (where do you think they learned it from). They are hurting too and you're the one there taking it out on. Be patience with them, don't talk down to them about how bad their father was, etc. Find more info about how to help yourself and your kids. My prayers go out to you.
I can't remember the website anymore, but I learned (through my own experience) that there are 6 stages a person has to go through when the other person walks ago. 1) Shock, disbelief 2) miss him so much, the pain. 3) ???? 4) revenge- this is the nasty one to get through. I was in this stage when I found out this info. 5) starting the healing process and moving forward in life. 6) Life feels great again, etc.
It can take anywhere from 6 months to years to recuperate, but if you know about these stages and work on them, you're able to get through them so much faster. It even helped me change the person I once was, and I'm alot happier as a result.
Time will heal your pain even though it feels like hell right now. Try not to concentrate on the suffering, but that one day it will be a better and brighter day ahead waiting for you. Hang in there! Its not the end of the world, it just feels like it at this time.
Try google search: How to survive a breakup - I think this was where I learned alot of advise.
2007-03-08 13:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by Nemo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children are watching, and learning. Daddy treats mommy with disrespect. . .and mommy will ALWAYS love us, no matter what. . .not so with daddy (we know that because daddy already left us once). SO, it's important to be on daddy's side so he will love us - and it's OK to be mean and disrespectful to mommy (she already showed us that when she let daddy do it). She's always gonna love us anyways. . .
Sweetie, teach your children better than this. Learn to love yourself, and value yourself. (Source book listed below.) Then teach your children to love and value you - if you don't, then they will never be able to love and value THEMselves. This is important stuff.
Once you take these steps, the ex-husband question will fall away like a used, dried up, old dead snake skin. . .
2007-03-08 13:50:47 · answer #5 · answered by darnlost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to move, get away from him and his wife. I would go where you have out of state family that you like and will help alittle but you need away from this drama and it sounds like he wants to use you even more. I would tell you kids that they will understand when they are older but you are their mother and they still need to behave even though they don't understand.
I'm sorry but dying does nobody any good and will only make him feel better, you have children that need you.
I know my advice is drastic but it really will help to start over.
2007-03-08 13:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by Blessed Rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off you MUST DEMAND that your children treat you with respect!!!!!! they must not mouth off to you!!!
second the nice guy that crapped all over you, forget him. never see him again!
altho you knew what you were gettin into when you decided to live with him without getting married. you had children with him without getting married.
now you have to live with the concequences. make a better life for yourself and your children and do not make the same mistake over again!!!
2007-03-08 13:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR KIDS ARE STILL SO YOUNG AND THEY WILL BE MAD AT YOU BECAUSE YOUR THE ONLY ONE AROUD BUT WHEN THEY GROW UP THEY WILL REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR THEM AND HOW MUCH YOU SUFFERED DURING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR FATHER JUST SO HE WOULD BE AROUND FOR THEM THEY WILL HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU IN THE FUTURE HANG IN THERE I KNOW IT IS HARD I HAVE SEEN IT BUT YOU CANT GIVE UP DO IT FOR YOUR KIDS YOU WILL HAVE TO GUIDE THEM TO MAKE SURE THEY FINISH SCHOOL AND MAKE SOMETHING OF THEM SELVES YOU NEED TO BE THERE TO SEE IT THEY WILL MAKE YOU SO HAPPY LATER. GOOD LUCK
2007-03-08 13:44:30 · answer #8 · answered by vanessa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to tell that idiot to take a hike and your kids to treat you with respect!
2007-03-08 13:36:43 · answer #9 · answered by Li 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋