Would a straight person let a person he knows is bi..?

Question

Sit right next to him? I asked a question yesterday concerning my freinds behavior of late, basicly what i said : he has been sitting right next to me most of the time(he knows im bi), is he straight?-- the consensus said no, but i still cant say for sure


well today, there were two people on a 2 person couch (it has room for a third but its kind o tight) and he sat in the middle RIGHT next to me, touching from shoulder to knee. it was a tight squeeze for anybody though. it was like that for the person on the other side, but not as much. I dont think their legs were touching, or shoulders. Anyways...my question is would a striaght person just sit there, hes my freind i know him well, but i think a straight person might have tried to find another seat before plopping down so close?

He did say he already knew and could tell i was bi when i todl him, and we started hanging out about a month ago..hes was giving me stuff for a while pills, and ganga..most of the time his touching seems deliberate, but he never says anything about it..oh and his girlfreind gets ditched for me, but then hell act straight for a while..totaly mixed messages

Answer 1

Don't get your hopes up. I find that straight friends who are 100% comfortable with their sexuality are very comfortable with gay people.

I know cuz I have two straight friends who are very touchy feely with me. It might turn me on but I know it does nothing for them. They are just making me feel good.

Meanwhile, the friend I know for like a eleven years who has a problem with his sexuality is all stand-offish except when he gets high.

Don't read too much into things. Play it by ear, or touch. :-)

Answer 2

Some people are just "touchy-feely". He may be one of those kids of guys. He can still be str8. He must be comfortable with you, I guess he assumes you're not going to make a move on him.
I wouldn't assume he's not str8 because of that. Now if he starts grabbing or otherwise touching you deliberately, that's a different message.


*******
well, after reading your update... maybe he's questioning his sexuality. he likes you, and knows you're bi, so maybe he is looking for something more. go with the flow - to use an old phrase - see how things develop. if he touches you, touch him back. nothing extreme, but let him know you noticed and liked it and would like more. see what happens....

Answer 3

Um -- I've had mostly male friends all my life. A fair number of them are straight -- most of them in fact. None of them were ever hesitant about sitting with me, talking to me, sitting on me in some cases, and being affectionate, it meant and means that they CARE, and that they are comfortable and unafraid. Those things are good things, although our culture in America denigrates them -- which is unfortunate.

Why are you trying to drive your friends away, would be my question. He is your friend, be his. If you have a crush on him, its ok - it doesn't mean he will reciprocate, but who knows. If you are just trying to guess whose gay -- stop -- its more important whose your friend. I love every one of my friends, and you should too -- frankly if I had a friend who wouldn't sit with me and was afraid to be touched -- gay or straight he wouldn't be much of a friend.

Good luck.


Reyn
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Answer 4

Your Friend would like to at least experiment with you. He may not be gay but he is open for whatever may happen. Let it it roll as long as you are open minded. Hope you both enjoy!!

Answer 5

Mike. It seems you are a westerner. Only then will it make sense that you don't already know that vast majority of men do have a thing for men, which in most cases has the potential to turn into a strong sexual bond if given a chance.

In India, where there is a hidden but valid social space for men to be quietly sexual with men, it happens at a wide scale. Almost everyone seems to be into it. But the only thing is they will never talk about it....... not acknowledging is the basis rule, that neither of the party should break. And the rest is exactly like you mentioned, though in India straight men do go a lot more farther and may initiate bolder moves once the interest from both the sides is confirmed (but not through spoken words rather through silent indirect actions).

In an open society like India (yes its true for men the west is pretty closed) bisexual behaviour is the straight thing to do ..... I have had several such secret, extremely intimate bonds with straight men (I am straight too in my society).

Since there is no straight/ gay divide, and you know that secretly everyone is into it, I gradually learnt to take this fact for granted and became more forthcoming in making advances inspite of another person's strict 'heterosexual' masks.

But I let the other person make the first start, which is always like something you have mentioned. The person will quietly touch me here and there ----- very, very casually. Its only when you both silently acknowledge that there is a touching relationship that the other person gets more bold, and may start touching your crotch every now and then, but always making it seem casual. It is mostly done right in public, and no one else is any wiser. In fact this behaviour will stop as soon as the two men are alone.

My last bond and I had a similar story as yours, in the sense that in India making girlfriends is not common and few men do it (since there is little pressure in the society to do so). Thus all of my previous bonds were with men who were 'monogamous' with me. I expected the same with my last bond but it later turned out that he had a girlfriend too. Actually I left him partly for this reason.

Well, nevertheless, he came to know about my openness about sexual bonds with men through my indirect writing on the subject (we both are budding journalists). the moment I saw him I liked him and my gaze told him everything. He started looking back at me constantly, and since I know that everyone has a sexual feeling for men, all I had to do was to make my move since I liked him as well.

I touched him casually while visiting him in his office while sitting next to him. He touched me back on one pretext or the other. Soon this turned into him sitting extremely close to me whenever I visited him ----- for hours at a stretch. We would sit with our bodies touching from shoulders to the feet. or if we were sitting in front of each other our feet will be touching each other (it was a small, cramped office but you could sit comfortably without touching each other).

soon I gathered the courage to initate touching his crotch. He was uncomfortable the first two tme I tried it, but soon he got into it and now started doing it like mad. He would lean against me with his crotch for a long time. Too bad it was winters and I could not feel much because I'd be wearing a sweater.

He also touched my crotch by leaning on it when I was sitting on the bed and he did it like mad too.

One day I visited his office in the afternoon I saw him being equally intmate with this girl. It is not normal for a boy to be so close to a girl in our society. I sensed something was on. I stopped visiting him, and was quite shattered. He tried to assuage my feelings that day, and that made me thing that perhaps I misinterpretted their relationship.

When we got to meet because of work a week later, he told me (indirectly) that he has nothing going on with that girl and that she is just a friend, albeit a close friend that he cared about. I believed him, cause I wanted to. But through this temporary break we, especially I came much closer to each other.

Our bond has broken today ------ I found it later that indeed he was trying to make her his girlfriend........ and that she was her first preference. But he wanted me to accept her and still be his partner. He was not willing to let me go.

However, for me it constituted a great betrayal. I left him for antoher reason though. 'Straight' men are very cautious about the society, and they will accomodate only as much of your bond into their life as can be done without the society getting any wiser. In other words he would give me only as much place in his life as the society allows to an acquaintance. And in today's India which is fast heterosexualising, that space is very little. Formally, I was just an acquaintance, and when I needed to be withhim, he did not let me......... he had to be taken care of after meeting with an accident. I didn't want anyone else to see him naked. He preferred his cousin to stay with him instead of me, and I left him completley shattered at his second betrayal.

Answer 6

maybe, maybe not...some cultures are much more physical without being sexual