My husband doesn't turn me on anymore. How can I easily get excited like I used to?

Question

I already do the whole fantasizing thing.

Answer 1

Im curious is to what are YOUR qualifications and disqualifications of a turn on? Did his looks change? Or does he just stop taking his own time to make sure your happy like many of us men do? Or are you the type that just needs something new all the time (unsatisfied with everything)? Is this his fault or yours? You should have thought about this before you married him. You are both one now and you both took vows. if one of you is not holding on to the marriage promise you made then its time to get some counceling.

Answer 2

Fantasizing, toys etc are good short term solutions.

It might be related to a few underlying factors that you could think about and/or get checked.

Has your husband's appearance changed a lot? Has he gained a lot of weight? Is he dressing worse? Encourage him to go to a gym - and you should too.

Is it possible your hormones are thrown off a bit? More exercise and a better diet could help here. If you feel your sex drive just isn't what it used to be, you could get your hormones checked?

Has your relationship changed? I see lots of women here complaining about resenting their husband for not helping out etc. I don't know any couples like this personally, but they must be out there. I actually know a _lot_ of couples in the opposite situation - the husband has become his wife's servant, doing everything she asks (perhaps poorly :p) and generally trying to accomodate her needs. Amazingly, she doesn't see him as the strong, confident masculine guy she first fell for. Have you (or he) together turned him into a dull, subservient father/husband, and extinguished the stronger lover? If you feel that might be the case, there are some books that might help, no more mr. nice guy for him (don't worry, its not about 'not being nice' its more like how to become mr. nice MAN) or the care and feeding of husbands for you. I'm not suggesting these books are for everyone, but for SOME couples they address their problems.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Is he any different than when you first met him? If he doesn't give you as much attention, has gained 80 pounds, and has recently discovered the comfort of sweaty flannel, then I can see where he might not be doing a lot for you.

However, if he is still basically the same, the problem may lie with you. If you're the one who doesn't give as much attention, has gained 80 pounds, and has recently discovered the comfort of sweatly flannel, maybe you're not turning him on. This in turn might not turn you on.

Ovid once said, "To be loved, be lovable." You can't change what he does. You can only change you. I would make a no-holds barred attempt to do everything I could to get him excited. Maybe that in turn would get him to do everything he could to get you excited. That in itself may be enough to get some of the excitement back.

Answer 4

Kari, do you still Love your husband? if so try not to make your self miserable. Could it be that after all this year the sparks is finally gone away? There are some people that they also have issue about their husband, talk to him, tell him how you feel and make sure that he understand where your coming from. You don't want to end up looking for another man just to satisfy your needs right?
Tell him,every little details that man never wants to hear, he needs to wake up and realize that its not the same anymore like you used to before. Be tough and you'll get through with it...............

Answer 5

the subject you're dealing with ought to be scientific or psychological. A low testosterone point could contribute to a low sexchronic, as ought to specific drugs (quite psychiatric drugs). inspite of the undeniable fact that, the subject ought to be psychologically inspired. if it particularly is so, you will prefer to work out a counselor or intercourse-therapist to confirm the right nature of the subject. I strongly propose which you and your husband communicate together with his well being care provider. in case you do not locate that highway useful, there are a number of psychologists who would assist you the two. undergo in techniques that your husband would experience very self-conscious approximately this. He will require some privateness together with his medical doctors. this is a delicate section.

Answer 6

Maybe you need to have a vacation. You may be forcing yourself too much and fantasize too much. Just let love making be a natural thing and it doen't require much effort. So take a break and maybe it will turn you on later.

Answer 7

There are diffrent seasons of a year and some husbens sometime you have the time of your life some times you can't stand em some times you love em so much you can't stand to be with out them but most of ppl you just got to wait and hold in there keep loveing him
Give him time he'll turn you on soon or in another season

Answer 8

Try including foreplay a nice adult store would have toys and games to help add excitement. Try different positions Try mixing up the night. Have sex in a different place. Basically try changing your routine and if don't work there is always sex therapy.

Answer 9

go to the book store. There are lots of book on how to get turned on which can help you in your relationship with your husband

Answer 10

youve got to keep the spice and spontanaity going. i dont know how long youve been married, but youve got to find things that you two can do together that will get the blood flowing. hot oil massages is a good start,