What causes self-esteem issues?

Question

I'm 19 and I have horrible self-esteem issues. Sometimes, I also start believing in what my imagination creates. For instance I can imagine a particular person hurting and I actually come to believe in those thoughts.

What cuases self-esteem issues?

Answer 1

I believe that self-esteem issues are some times caused by not having other women in our lives with good self-images. If you do not have a mother or other women with good self-esteems then you tend to fall into having issues.

Answer 2

I think the for each individual female, there are different contributing factors to self esteem. And I will say, for the record, that even girls that are absolute stunners have self esteem issues. A main factor is self esteem I feel is looking at what other women look like and being envious or something even jealous. Looking in the mirror and seeing a wee tummy or tiny little imperfections, then watching tv or looking in magazines and seeing these gorgeouis women with totally unattainable figures. What a lot of women fail to realise is that most of the women on tv and magazines have just come from 2 hours in make up, or have personal trainers and chefs etc. And then there is airbrush. I think that women are taught from a young age that there are certain things that society deems attractive and that if you don't possess them then you will never be happy or "get a man" or whatever other mindless plastic fantastic ******** we are expected to swallow. Then there are experiences that we have in our lives that make us question ourselves. These do not have to be about physical appearance, they can be to do with holding down a job or being a good mum or whatever. Myself personally, my self esteem fluctuates. I remember when I was about 14, seeing a guy I went to primary school with and he said to me "wow, what happened to you? You got fat". This affected me a lot. I'm not overly big, I'm bigger than I want to be, but not what I would deem to be fat, yet for some reason, this guys comment has stayed with me for years. And abusive relationships can destroy self esteem aswell, it can be very hard to remember what a great person you are if your partner is hitting you, or putting you down or cheating...... And may I just say in closing, that self esteem issues are not gender based. Men can have low self esteem aswell.

Answer 3

That's just the perspective of life from the human being's perspective. The term "self-esteem issues" was one made up by pop-psych, or wannabe psychologists back a few decades ago when they didn't have anything else to do besides daydream, and then find ways to make money off of their daydreaming since they weren't seeing any or enough clients to earn a living and they didn't know how to do anything else. How do I know? Because I've been a mental health clinician for 20+ years, now retired, and I've seen all that cheap and useless "psychobabble" come running through our profession like sewage down an otherwise beautfiful river. Trust me, the "issues" are just perspectives people have from their "point of view" in life, and "self-esteem" is just another word for "ego trip". If you want to take care of people, do it, but you don't have to make a psychological case out of it. You sound normal to me and there's plenty of people who'd love your help, so, just get after it. You sound good-hearted to me. God Bless you.

Answer 4

I think we have been given negative feedback or criticism regarding specific issues in our lives - usually from the time we were small children. These messages can lock themselves into our beliefs, and we continue to manage our life assuming that these messages are true - whether they are or not.

Overall, I think we worry way too much what other people think. Let's face it - we can't control it no matter who we are, what we do, what we wear, etc., etc. I was once told that it was "none of my business" what other people were thinking.
It did help me to be less obsessed with this aspect of my social relationships.

Answer 5

I'm 25 and I have the same issues. My imagination can drive me crazy sometimes especially when I'm bored. So what you have to do, is keep yourself busy. Do something all the time. If I sit and stare at the wall, I'm going to go crazy. Find a job, go to school, get a hobby, do stuff...

Answer 6

Usually subconscious trauma due to a flaw recognized of oneself all though not reconized by the general public its one of those things that make you think "is she/he looking at the mole on my neck"when someone's eyes drift towards said flaw

Answer 7

I think society and people that put others down. Ufortunatly we tend to believe them becuase its how they perceive us, but those people need to look at themselves because there is something lacking in them, if they pointout the flaws in others.

Answer 8

Focus on all the good things about yourself. I think you're a person worthy of love and respect.

Answer 9

Anything bad in that has happened to you. I think that society causes people to also feel bad about themselves. Those people that are always allegedly perfect aren't. We should make each other feel good about each other.

Answer 10

often a traumatic or negative experience from the past..perhaps deep in the past....that one may be sub-consciously unaware of...