I met someone 5 months ago and we enjoy each others company but he seems very private about his feelings and life. What can I do to open him up a little? I dont expect his whole life story but I would like to get to know him more in a deeper level. Any advice men?
(I'm 25 and he's 30)
2007-03-08 13:11:35 · 7 answers · asked by LJO 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
He does'nt drink so getting him drunk won't be the answer :) lol
I understand what everyone is saying. I think he is a guy that wants to feel like a man. He's into UFC and guns...etc. I guess he feels less of a man if he opens up. I can't figure it out yet. I guess I'll just have to take my time to get to know him.
2007-03-08 16:23:43 · update #1
lots of guys are like that. they dont show emotion. just talk with him alot
2007-03-08 13:19:01 · answer #1 · answered by sambucca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because to many men, showing or discussing feelings is a sign of weekness. Showing weekness puts you at a disadvantage when dealing with others. Men need to appear strong and in control when dealing with others to keep that edge and that advantage. Also, to many men, facts and details of a situation are more important than feelings. We respond more to these things. They give us a better impression of the situation than feelings do. We know how we would have felt and can guess how someone else would have so we don't feel much need to discuss it. Your man may be telling you what you want to know but, because you view things from a different perspective you may not see that right away.
But if you still need him to open up more, ask him specific questions. Men are more likely to answer questions about specific details rather than more general questions. Also, make sure he knows that he can trust you. It might also help if you act a little more like a "girl" and make him feel like a "man" during these conversations. Even if you are in full control, making him feel like he is will make him feel more comfortable and less vulnerable. This will make him more likely to open up. And don't misunderstand me, you don't have to act weak and helpless and you don't have to call him macho and all that. I'm not talking about letting him drag you around by the hair while he beats his chest. Just subtly let him feel strong and in control.
2007-03-08 13:28:54 · answer #2 · answered by Bob 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't open up under pressure.
Time and trust with you, he may feel more comfortable and slowly he'll open up bit by bit.
Guys are usually and lot more secretive as it's seen as a sign of weakness to talk about emotions, especially if he's dwelling on something from the past??
All the best....
2007-03-08 23:03:44 · answer #3 · answered by stuart d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"What can I do to open him up a little?"
Get him drunk. I know after a couple of pints and a couple of Jager shots, I'll tell people stuff about myself that they definitely did NOT want to know. :) Also, I always feel more comfortable talking in a not too loud bar with a cold beer than anywhere else. Obviously this isn't a good idea if he or you don't drink.
2007-03-08 14:05:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be he has some baggage he doesn't want to share yet. Some people are on the rebound or don't want to be tied down. To me people who don't share certain feelings about issues have something to hide as in Jekyll and Hyde. Others might be so full of themselves they expect you to ask for their autograph. Do tell,.........us more.
2007-03-08 14:01:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry if he feels for you it's a matter of time.....maybe his past is not something he enjoys discussing.....ex's have that effect every girl after that is a threat.....be patient
2007-03-11 22:32:31 · answer #6 · answered by lucky 7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
use your female intuition.
2007-03-08 13:20:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋