why don't men want to be with the mother of their children? i understand if the woman was completely?

Question

Disrespectful or a @?* or something, but when you are in a relationship with someone that you loved and actually pictured a future with and they become pregnant with your child, why is it all of a sudden hard for men to decide whether they want to be with the girl or not? Are men really all that selfish?

And if they are scared how long are we supposed to wait? What are we supposed to do about it? Don't men think we are scared? We give them one of the greatest gifts in life and that makes them rethink a relationship!

And let me add for whoever made that stupid comment, some of didn't skeem and plot to get pregnant. Sh*t happens and we aren't mean enough to kill a child that had nothing to do with it. Some people are such jerks

Although I feel like I shouldn't have to xplain myself, I didn't get pregnant on purpose, nor did I choose to keep the baby to keep or trap him. Not every female is like that! I truly loved my guy and because he is confused I'm choosing to do this on my own, without the support of my friends or family either. and that to me isn't anywhere near selfish.

Answer 1

To quote Dr Phil. No matter how thin there are always two sides to a pancake. You have used generalities that in all cases the man is at fault.

When the two of you got together there was something that the other person liked. It now seems as though that has changed. Each person has to be honest and ask what part of the problem do they own. Rationalizing doesn't do any good you have to be honest. Lying to yourself or about the other person doesn't help. I am sure that you can find a lot of people to support you,,,Yea! Right on!! But that really isn't being honest,,,is it?

The exact same thing can be said about women. As long as the two of you build walls between yourselves, communication can never get over them. Break the walls down and be honest, if not for you, then for the child, they need both a mother and father, even if they aren't together.

Don't let your hatred ruin your child.

Answer 2

Some are selfish yes, but most often it is because they dont know if they are ready for something that big yet. You said relationship so I will take the liberty that you are not married. If that is the case its most likely a whoopsy baby. He is probably scared out of his mind right now. Most guys dont plan ahead with that stuff and think about it. Especially if you are not married yet. A guy saying he can see himself having a future with you does not mean that he has played out all the senarios and thought them thru to the point where he is prepared for something like this. When me and my wife had our second child together it was a suprise, and even being married and having. a kid allready the suprise of another one on the way hit me like a brick wall. If he loves you he will be there for you, but if you expect him to marry you because you are pregnant, it will not work out in the end. Marriage under those circumstances will most likely cause a lot of problems down the road


The way you are speaking makes it sound almost like you had the child on purpose. I sincerly hope I am wrong

Answer 3

Females should take the time to really get to know a guy before becoming pregnant with their child. Having a baby to keep a guy will never work in life for any female and the sooner they learn that, the better. Men are not easy to commit to responsibilities, (kids), and it's not hard for them to move on with their lives if they fill that they are being pressured to become so. By the way, s___ may happen, but its also too many ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies if a child isn't really wanted. Kids shouldn't have to suffer for carelessness either.

Answer 4

Just because your the mother don't mean that your the right one for him.The women don't have to have any flaws,a baby want make a man stay.Before having a baby this should be discussed,yes accidents do happen but having a baby is life changing like marriage,something that should come before the baby.Men are not selfish Women who think like this are.Birth control works both ways so U always need to protect yourself.All men are not the same,but most women are.

Answer 5

well, obviously you were not dealing with men, just boys that want to have some fun, and once a kid comes along that puts a cramp on their fun and so they split and run for the hills to have some more fun

can't really imagine a real man doing that

men get scared of that too, but real men will overcome their fear and be brave about the new world they are entering and will stick through it

go find some men instead of looking for boys

Answer 6

sad, but not all men are like that, i believe those men only want someone who body isn't 'used' by giving birth, or who is 'new' actually they're really not 'men' at all. they don't respect womanhood, father hood, or mother hood or even themselves. [then they expect society to RESPECT THEM !] but society never will. of course. Only dogs get dogs pregnant and then wander off without a thought -but we are humans, they 'create' a life then desert it, what a crime, they should get beat up and then go to jail for 20 years.
turn to God, make yourself a better person, rise above all that has happened to you, but be feminine and show them all you don't need lowlifes in your life, make sure your child is around only people with integrity and raise him that way, give him a quality life and i don't mean money.

Answer 7

if a man will not commit to getting married why would you think that they would commit to staying with the girlfriend and the baby when the grass gets greener on the other side of the fence.
these women made the decision to have children with out getting married, without that commitment. so why are they crying now??? beats me!!! looks like they got what they signed up for. love em while he's here and miss em and pay the price with he's gone... too bad, soo sad!
they made thier bed now they can continue to sleep in it.

Answer 8

When your with a man and everything is going good and you both are happy why go and mess things up by getting preg.
What makes a woman happy is to find a good man have some fun move in together have some more fun get preg. then get married and live happy ever after.
Now lets look at what makes a man happy he likes to look at all the pretty girls get as many pretty girls as he can. He dates said pretty girl they have lots of sex and fun pretty girl says lets live together so we can have more fun and more sex pretty girl gets preg. no more lots of sex and fun and now comes the big M word and as the man see it his life is over no more pretty girls no more lots of sex and no more fun for the rest of his life.
That just about sum his whole life up in a nut shell.

Answer 9

Look lady, when a dude knocks up a chick, he sees his whole future go down the shitaker. Also, he sees himself being locked to only one vagin. Not a great prospect. So this is what causes so much doubt. The irresponsible ones will leave you. The ones with a sense of responsibility will swallow this bitter pill and do the right thing.

Answer 10

I divorced the mother of my daughter, because I found out she was on Crack Cocaine. I tried for a full year to get her help, but se refused, I finally told her it was her family or drugs. She chose drugs.