My boyfriends sister is 3 months pregnant and his sister in law just found out she is pregnant. All of my friends have babies and I am the only one with out. I don't really want to be pregnant because I want to be married first and atleast have my AA degree but I am jealous of them. How do I act happy for them? They will be having the babies around the holidays and I have a feeling its going to depress me because my boyfriend of 4 years still has not asked me to marry him and I just feel like my life isn't really moving forward beside school. I have always dreamed of being married and having kids and it just seems so far away for me. Someone please give me some good advice.
2007-03-08 12:04:27 · 11 answers · asked by Louisianagirl84 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am going through the same thing except I am married and trying to get preg. All of my friends are already parents. The only thing you really can do is smile and say "Why yes, your baby IS the most beautiful baby in the whole world!" or "I would LOVE to listen to all of the tiny details of Junior's day!" Just remember that one day it will be your turn and you will be just as in love with your baby as they are with their's. If you are supportive with them, they will be there for you when it's your turn!
Seriously though, your plan of being married and having a degree before having kids is an excellent choice. You will be much better prepared for the whole experience. Being a young mom may seem like fun, but being a calm, un-stressed mom is much better for your baby.
Good Luck!
2007-03-08 21:52:24 · answer #1 · answered by SparklePlenty 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I felt this way, this time last year. My boyfriends sister and my best friend were both pregnant and found out at the same time. I was so depressed because I was still in college and even though I really, really wanted a baby, I knew it wasn't the time. I just kept telling myself that when its my turn things will be more stable and I will be ready for it. They both ended up losing the babies when they were around 5 months...that was really sad for everyone!
I waited until I was finished school and being married didn't really bother me whether I was or not ( I have my own different order how I want my life to be lol don't ask) And now that everything is falling into place, I am pregnant and happy about it! Just wait because once you are pregnant and have the baby, you can't go back. So help them enjoy their pregnancies and think of all the free baby stuff you'll get when their babies are finished with it. Also, you'll be the one who has all the thunder because they're pregnant at the same time, its taking from each other
Best of luck!
2007-03-08 20:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said yourself, you dont want to be pregnant right now.
Probably once the babies are born, and you can be the doting aunt, it might help. Plus you'll get to learn a lot of stuff that will be useful when you do have kids.
I think your boyfriend not proposing yet is kind of a different issue, dont measure your life achievements by what everyone else is up to, have a good think about what you want and talk to your boyfriend about it.
2007-03-08 20:11:50 · answer #3 · answered by zimba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel and it is hard sometimes seeing people hit milestones you are hopeful of achieving. I think the jealousy is based on the fear that society instills in us all that we must have it all and now. Having is a baby is a huge step and not one anyone should Rush into lightly. You seem to get that when you say you want to finish your schooling. That goal in itself is a tremendous one and just as important as any huge life step. So enjoy your life goals one at a time. Do not rush anything, life will do that for you. Easy........go gently all in good time!
2007-03-08 20:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by Tereka Bodika 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just need to keep reminding yourself that you are not ready for a baby and you have a plan for yourself so that when you are ready you can give your baby a great life. Just spoil their babies rotten when they get here and get plenty of practice with them. As for the boyfriend you may need to talk to him and ask him if there is a marriage in your future with him. If not you may need to move on and find someone with the same goals as you. Best of luck.
2007-03-08 20:10:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 4 years, its time to discuss with your boyfriend whether your relationship will ultimately end in marriage. If it won't, then its time to cut and run. It's great to take your time and do things in an order acceptable to you, and you have to make the decisions that get you those things.
Jealousy is actually not what you're feeling. Here's the definition of jealousy: Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may have no knowledge of threatening the relationship. What you are describing is actually envy, fixation on what someone else has. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jealousy
Here's an article on how to deal with these feelings: http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/dealing-with-jealousy-faq.htm
2007-03-08 20:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You sound like me!! I have the same dilemma. Check it out: my sis just had her 2nd baby on Dec. 26th, my SIL is having one on April 9th, my futre sil is having one in May.... good lord! I just got engaged (after 4 years). Just think, when it is your turn, you will (hopefully) be the ONLY ONE in your fam/circle of friends that is NEWLY pregnant and married! You won't have to share the limelight. I know how you are feeling, but just try to act happy for them, and know to yourself that youu, too, will have these things. It is hard, but is the only thing that has gotten me through it.
2007-03-08 20:10:38 · answer #7 · answered by jessiekarma 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh you won't be so jealous when you are up at 3am while they are screaming their head off at you and all you want to do is sleep.Its no dream , the reality of it is that you can't go off and do the things you used to. You can't just leave and get the things you need it takes longer to get out the door. You have to plan everything you do. You have to find babysitters to watch em if you wanna go out. Its far from a dream and not that wistful.
2007-03-08 20:36:53 · answer #8 · answered by primamaria04 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Skip a pill or two or hide the used condom and inseminate yourself later. Then you will not be jealous you'll be pregnant.
2007-03-08 20:13:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
just snatch a baby for the holidays, maybe one that looks kinda like you, then give it back afterward. brief gratification.
2007-03-08 20:12:38 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋