Asexuality, a preference or disorder?

Question

There has been some debate that the sexual preference of asexuality is really a mental/emotional disorder. Asexuality is the sexual preference of neither male nor female but a preference not to become involed either emotionally, sexually, or both.

In your opinion, is this a disorder or the way some people actually are?

Now that I have posed this question and got quite a variety of answers, I shall give my own input. By the definition I gave then I would be considered asexual. I'm not emotionally or sexually attracted to either gender (or any other kind of animal or thing). I'm quite content and happy with my life and the lack of a romantic relationship with other people. I do not engage in activities to otherwise entertain myself in that way because they are simply not entertaining or in no way a source of pleasure.

I do not consider this a disorder or a choice, but simply a way of being and a way that, even as a child, I always was.

Answer 1

Asexuality, is a condition that occurs not only in humans but like homosexuality and heterosexuality, exists in nature. The reason behind it is not yet fully understood but studies seem to indicate the same reason as homosexuality, genetics. It is only a small percent of the population that are truly asexual but never the less, it is just another natural condition.

Answer 2

I think Asexuality is not a disorder.. Nuture vs. Nature simply put. Been trough 3 very long term relatinships over 30 years and from constantly picking the wrong person I a have chosen complete celibacy here in ventura, California. Is it easier being alone, I have yet to find out but I have no desire to be with anyone, and I do not even have any baggage. I can see how repeteated patterns can actually turn you off to other romantic involvements. So you begin to count on friends..more and more.. I have done the same. I do not want to sit in a bar feeling rejected, my friends dont. I think all asexuals have to look back and see where it started from. Most of the highest spiritual people, sexuality is last on there lists.. Does any one agree..Pal Joey

Answer 3

thankyou malik2x for your insightful and very relevant answer

/sarcasm

yes, i have heard that a growing population of people are seeking mates for emotionally loving but non-physical relationships, or are in otherwards "asexual".

i could not say technically that being asexual is a disorder, because being heterosexual or being homosexual is not a disorder in my eyes, they are a result of your genetics and upbringing. BUT, as beings that by design desire sexual relations for pleasure and reproduction, humans that do not wish to have sexual relations at all must be so for a reason. whether mental/emotional (abused as a child, had abusive partners, etc) or biochemical (hormone or nutrient deficiencies) i believe there must be an underlying cause or "disorder" that would cause a person to be lacking the instinct of or desire for a normal process.

the sexual preference is not a disorder in itself, but i believe that other disorders cause the personal choice

Answer 4

Asexuality can be categorized as both and does not necessarily need to be either or.

The thing about categorizing anything as a disorder, is that it can become a fallacy of opinion and looses its objectivity. I was a psych major before I become a soc. major and I learned that no matter how much psychology hopes to categorize human psyche's, that any science that is not unpurposed science is culturally or socially biased and not objective, but rather subjective. A person can label themselves disordered as it is they themselves who must feel dis-ordered and thus identify with this categorization. A person who feel comfortable choosing social asexuality, who does not feel dis-ordered is not disordered. (I am sepperating the word into dis-ordered to bring attention to the composition of the word, so that we can assess it critically putting aside some of the cultural connotations we've attached to the word.)

Answer 5

All due respect to you ,but i hate it when any one who is different from the majority is labelled with having some kind of disorder .The word implies that the person is defective (like imperfect goods )if its not a problem to that person then it must be normal for them .but whatever ,i think it could be for either/any reason i was like that for 7years after 2 really bad relationships and the only emotions i had for any one were in a brotherly/ sisterly way .but funny enough although the last thing on my mind was looking for any kind of intimate relation ship ive met someone now that i am attracted to (i think )but i wasn`t unhappy without a man and if it doesn`t work out with the person i`m getting close to now i still will be happy alone
so who knows and to me the reason behind it does`t really matter so long as your happy in the life you`ve got .

Answer 6

I think it is no more of a disorder than homosexuality is.

I am asexual in that I am not interested in a sexual relation with any person, BUT I am romantically (mentally and physically) attracted to people. just don't want sex.

I don't think it means something is WRONG with you. It just means that is not something you are interested in or like. Not everyone likes playing soccer or reading, so why is it expected that everyone likes to have sex?

Answer 7

grew up. got married. not in denial. never thought about it. no yearnings. marriage grew more like brother and sister, even the birth control expired... got divorced. fell in love gain. he done me wrong. well, that's the short and easiest version. then at age 33 I made friends with a woman... yep. fell in love. Fell in LOVE. Guess what? she done me wrong too. other lovers, bad choices on my part. Two were financial disasters. One was an online long distance three year relationship that basically was a liar festival.

And now... I don't want to be involved with male or female. I have learned that I make extremely bad choices in life partners. I am no longer willing to gamble my emotions, my money, or my stability on intimate relationships.

I feel I have evolved. staight. gay. Now, I CHOOSE asexuality. I am loving it. Not bitter... BETTER. I live a full life, terrific friends, family, job, hobbies, and... I said asexual, uhmmm, that includes battery toys right?

Answer 8

I think I have always been Asexual myself. It's kind of hard to decribe, but I've never been SEXUALLY attracted to either sex. I don't look at a man's body and get turned on any more than I get turned on looking at Chicken. Same with women. However, I do have a boyfriend, and when I sleep with him, it's because I have emotional love for him. I never EVER think about sex, and I could probably go my entire life without it, but I often initiate it with him because I know he wants it, and I love him.
Nothing turns me on. I am however, attracted to people's faces. It's not sexual. When I first saw my boyfriend, I kept staring because I liked his look, but I didn't want to sleep with him. I do believe, in my heart, that I do have a disorder. I believe humans are supposed to want to procreate. So, I'm actually an Asexual, who prefers to love a man that is wonderful. I'm emotionally immersed in the sex. Not sexually....

None of my friends understand me. I constantly try to describe it, and I've never met anyone like me.

Answer 9

That's just the way some people are, but when they are people assume that you are gay because you don't show any interest in the opposite sex, like Edward Heath, they don't care to notice you never show interest in the same sex either.

Although I do find some men attractive, it doesn't mean I want to sleep with them, I never have and never will. I mean they have to be something else for me to look at them like Paul Newman and Marlon Brando, but I am only comfortable looking at them. I don't find women attractive although some women I think I like for some reason, neither feeling is particularly sexual.

It's not a disorder just the way I am.

CutieTM- You are exactly like me, I am only attracted to people's faces, though jeez I would never lie with them! I don't care how much I like them!

Answer 10

I think it's a preference. "Disorder" implies that there is a norm, and all types of sexuality are normal and natural; there's no tried and true way of being.

The only thing that would make me use the term 'disorder' would be if it was negatively affecting the lives of asexual people, but many of them are happy just the way they are.

That's my opinion, at least.

Answer 11

Personally I believe that every thing we do is a choice - that is what makes us different to animals - free will. I think there are many ways of being and they are all just fine. The only person who has to be happy with your choice is you - if you are happy it matters not what other people think or believe.