To woman only please. How do you deal with sexual difficulties? Everytime I am sleeping with a guy, I can't

Question

get off. When they are done they are done no time for. I can possibly if it took a long time. But... Need your advice please.

Answer 1

This is not your problem at all. You need to make your guy understand the facts. Women take longer to orgasm and generally do not have vaginal orgasms, therefore, the man needs to get you off before he gets off. This will involve oral and stimulation with his fingers. Obviously he's not doing this, so you need to tell him what he needs to do. Why should he be the only one enjoying sex. If he's unwilling to make you feel good and is only concerned with how he feels, he's not worth it. Most considerate, caring men take the time to pleasure you BEFORE fulfilling their own needs. Don't let him use you.

Sorry for ranting. I feel very strongly about this. There are too many men that know nothing about sex (no offense to anyone) and it seems that it is not until a woman's late 20's (or later, in some cases) that she wakes up and realizes that she's had, up until that point, unfulfilling sexual experiences. Before then, she thinks there's actually something wrong with her. It's pathetic, really. Be vocal about what you want and need. It's the only way men will learn and the only way you will walk away satisfied.

Answer 2

Most likely there is nothing wrong with you. How many different partners are we talking about and have you been in a serious committed relationship with them? Age can also be a factor (sometimes you just don't know what you like or how to get it when you are younger).

I suggest waiting to have sex again until you are in a loving caring committed relationship (which takes time). Once you are there you will certainly feel safer which may enable you to be relaxed enough to get off completely. Also, he will feel the same about you making him want to be sure you are satisfied first.

In my opinion any guy who doesn't take the time to make sure you are satisfied (most women can only orgasm from foreplay -lots of it) BEFORE he even thinks about getting his - isn't worth the time of day not to mention another notch in your belt.

Answer 3

Gosh, what a question. I never got off with a guy until fairly recently and I can tell you my experiences about it. I talked to a lot of women and had to really examine myself before I was able to get off, but it is NOT true that you can't orgasm with a guy and I think people who say that are just being unhelpful (I haven't noticed that here, just other places).

I had to feel comfortable with my partner before I could get off. I also had to be able to get myself off. I still don't have orgasms through intercourse, but I use a vibrator (a nice one is the Laya Spot available at Good Vibrations hehe) on my clit while we have sex. I also used a dildo to figure out which positions worked the best for me.

Unfortunately it took me awhile to get comfortable with myself and my partner and that is what made the difference (that and some examination of my sexual beliefs).. I also decided to be more agressive and start sex when *I* was in the mood. I did the seducing when *I* felt like it and I take care of some of my foreplay and am very open with my partner about what I like and what I don't like. It is very helpful for him to know what works for me, because he can't feel what I feel, so he won't figure it out.

This is what else helped! Unfortunately, I was able to orgasm with him at first when I was tipsy, but eventually I was able to orgasm sober. I cringe telling others that because it sounds alcoholic, but it lowered my inhibitions enough. Just tipsy, not drunk. Watching porn can help, wearing lingerie. Getting *you* in the mood is VERY important, and if you aren't in the mood, don't do it! You have to establish healthy patterns (this after I told you about being tipsy eep!) and not get into a rut of not getting off.

Last words of advice, make sure you are with someone who is incredibly patient. Don't put up with impatient men who think there is something wrong with *them* because you can't get off. I did enough of that, and my current partner is incredibly patient, supportive and willing to do whatever it takes to get me off, which is why I can. Good luck, it takes practice!

Answer 4

This is an extremely personal issue that entails very graphic explanations...not fit for this forum. There are many books at the bookstore that deal with female sexual dysfunction that might help you. There are also femaile sexual therapists who can help you learn how to achieve orgasm...but with the right partner...Doesn't sound like the guys you have been with care much about your satisfaction.

Answer 5

Some women (and men) simply have problems having orgasms. There are many sexual disorders for women who cannot find pleasure or "get off" during sex. If you are concerned, talk to a psychologist or your doctor.

You could also try pleasuring yourself. If you know what works, you can show your man how to please you.

Answer 6

You need to find a man you are comfortable telling what feels good and where to go. You can also look online for tips and tricks to highten your sexual experience.

Answer 7

I've actually never been able to with anyone! Alone yes, but not with someone else. It's very frustrating, but seemingly common.

Just don't worry about it, enjoy what you're feeling, touch yourself if needed, and if it comes...well, you know ; )

Answer 8

You need more foreplay. A woman needs more than a guy, so don't let him "in" until you are REALLY ready. You can finish the job by masturbating if you want also.

Answer 9

try pleasuring yourself, by yourself. its kinda hard for a guy to know where your spot is.

Answer 10

Hun,it's not just u.That's why we masterbate.&,also why women have so many toys!*