What is wrong with me?

Question

I have severe mood swings. I have days where I feel really sad and every little thing makes me cry, and days when I am mad at the world and I just want to kick and punch things(sometimes I do-usually my steering wheel). There are times when I'm feeling so happy it makes me jump up and down and giggle like a little kid.

If I'm upset about something, it's all I can think about/want to think about/obsess over and the smallest distraction will make me furious. Even the ringing of the phone at work.

I over-analyze things people say to me, to the point of driving myself practically crazy over it.

I am usually quiet and reserved, but at times can be extremely outgoing, talkative and friendly.

When I love someone I devote every ounce of my being to them and feel disappointed and unloved when they aren't willing to do the same.

I really need to figure out what the problem is and how to fix it before I ruin my life with it.

I'm 28 years old and have always had anxiety issues. I'm a nervous wreck most of the time, unless I'm in one of my happy moods. I can be a bit obsessive compulsive at times (I'll catch myself organizing the shelves or straightening the racks at a store) but my room is actually quite a bit of a mess right now and it doesn't really bother me that it is. I have a need to be right and to do things perfectly the first time around, especially in the company of people I care about. I'm terrified of being bad at something in front of them.
My fathers family also has a history of mental illness. (My aunt suffers from severe depression and my grandfather was treated with electroshock therapy when he was a kid, though I'm not sure what for. Those are the ones I know about.)
I always feel like I need more attention but when I get it, I cower from it. (BTW I promise I didn't post this for attention, this is all real and true)
AND...I always feel the need to explain myself even when no one asked.

I'm 28 years old and have always had anxiety issues. I'm a nervous wreck most of the time, unless I'm in one of my happy moods. I can be a bit obsessive compulsive at times (I'll catch myself organizing the shelves or straightening the racks at a store) but my room is actually quite a bit of a mess right now and it doesn't really bother me that it is. I have a need to be right and to do things perfectly the first time around, especially in the company of people I care about. I'm terrified of being bad at something in front of them.
My fathers family also has a history of mental illness. (My aunt suffers from severe depression and my grandfather was treated with electroshock therapy when he was a kid, though I'm not sure what for. Those are the ones I know about.)
I always feel like I need more attention but when I get it, I cower from it. (BTW I promise I didn't post this for attention, this is all real and true)
AND...I always feel the need to explain myself even when no one asked.

Answer 1

Dear "Wrong,"
Firstly, know that there will be people on here that will preach to you and tell you you're obviously living the wrong way, thinking the wrong way, etc. This is not a very useful remark for them to make and I would recommend ignoring them. You have the intellect to recognize that what you are feeling is not your "norm" or it wouldn't feel so crazy and so sad. This shows a good understanding of yourself. This is vitally important as you are going to have to help yourself and have the strength to seek help. You need to speak to someone who has the proper medical knowledge to diagnose you. Please don't try to self-diagnose, that could be a disaster, especially if you have something like bi-polar.

Believe me, what you are saying sounds so familar to a certain degree, you think it has to be something mental like bi-polar or depression. It could possibly be that, I am not disputing your need to seek medical assistence either way and I strongly encourage you to do so. But also consider just talking to someone about your feelings.

It sounds lame and you think, "what do I have to say?" But it can really help, even if for the first few sessions you talk about nothing in particular. A good counsellour can hear what you are not saying in what you choose to say and reflect it back to you in order to help you get to the heart of something.

If you are in school or working, you might have access to a counsellour or through a health plan be able to afford a therapist if you feel you want to go that route. At the very least call a help hotline and speak to someone anonymously.
Keeping your lonliness and fears about your personality bottled up is not healthy and will ulimately not help you towards feeling good about yourself.
*********************
Take this aspect of what I am saying with a grain of salt as this is one possible thing that could explain why you are experiencing life the way you discribe. I know this is the worst thing someone could say but depending on how old you are, this could be a hormonal phase.

It could be hormonally related, either a hormone surge as during puberty (which by the way can last until 23 years of age, this is an unknown fact for most people) or if you are much older, it could be a depletion of hormones, as occurs during meno-pause and the pre-menopause which can start as early as your later 30's.

It could also be what it was for myself, which was simply a need to have hormone regulation, because my body was unable to get it right. I tried the pill, Alesse, as it is the weakest does of hormones. I would recommend just trying it, and as with most medications giving it 2 weeks to a month to see change. With me my family and I saw change in a matter of days.
Prior to me taking the pill, I had been diagnosed (and treated) for depression as well as obsessive compulsiveness, to no avail. It simply was my hormones (which is almost embarassing and annoying to admit because it is so cliche.)
But honestly I felt so different after starting the pill, like I had been looking up at the impossible expectations of the world from the bottom of a well and now I was standing beside the well looking levelly at the world. I could still see down into the well or up at the sky but they seemed more managable.

I really hope that you find an entry on here that gets you to a path of healing. Best of luck and take care.

Answer 2

I know exactly how you feel !!!! I don't know if it is a mental disorder or not but i feel the same way. I think the main reason is because like you said you are obsessive. You are passionate about everything you do, and when things don't go your way or how you would have liked or expected, you get frustrated. Am I right? You could be in a perfectly good mood but any little thing can turn that around completely. I don't think it is necessary bipolar I think we are just over passionate. We have to learn that some things are in our control and some aren't. If we can control something and we do wrong then we just have to try to do better the next time and not dawn on our mistakes. If something is not in our hands and we can't control it then why waste our precious time being frustrated, pissed and angry over it. I used to be that same way but I'm learning to control my emotions. Some people think you can't control how you feel, but you can. You just have to learn. It takes time but it is worth it because everyday will go by more smoothly. (I changed without the help of a doctor or medication . . . it is on you to decide how serious it is and whether you think you need outside help) I believe that when you want something bad enough you will keep working on it until you get it. I wanted to change the way I was . . .and i did. Good Luck mama

Answer 3

Well...You could just be one of those all or nothin people. Which isnt too good. You can try to fix it whenever you find yourself doin all that, remind yourself about how someone else would react in that same situation, yknow, reason with yourself. Dont automatically go jumpin for medication like an idiot. Medication doesnt solve everything, and way too many people go straight for medication without ever just trying to work over their problems.

That being said, maybe talk a doctor but I'd suggest first just tryin to get some self control. Extreme behaviors arent healthy, but I think you can probably overcome them yourself. Dont let your emotions run you, you can always control 'em, you just gotta learn how.

Good luck to you, and if you need help, send me a message. I'll be all too happy to try and help you more.

Answer 4

I'm the same way. I went to my doctor and he did a blood test and I had a thyroid problem. A few weeks after I started taking the medications, I was more relaxed and in control of myself. It even helped with womanly bodily functions, I guess you could say.

It depends on the individual. But definitely go to the doctor and get some bloodwork done. If that's a no-go, maybe see a therapist?

Answer 5

I would first get a physical by your Primary Care Doctor. He/she can rule out physical problems. From there, you need to think about situational problems that may be causing your mood swings, problems from the past, etc. Then, there is biological problems or mental health diagnoses such as depression, anxiety, etc. A psychiatrist or therapist can help you out here. If you need medication to regulate the neurotransmitters that may be off, a Psychiatrist can do this.

Answer 6

You are overreacting to things, beyond the reasonable response to your daily life events. You need to draw back and become inner-directed, controlling your own thoughts and emotions rather than being a string puppet for anything that happens to you. This is dangerous. You are literally at the mercy of the accident of whether someone is nice to you, or cold; whether something good happens, or something bad. And above all, your reactions are completely emotional, rather than thinking something through, or acting appropriately to take advantage of good things, or combat bad things.

Counseling plus a mood stabilizer might help you. Ask your doctor about getting a 1mg./day prescription for haloperidol, after describing your symptoms.

Answer 7

You sound kind of like myself actually. I don't think there's anything really wrong with you, but it's possible that you might have bipolar disorder based on your severe mood swings (really down or really up). Do you see a therapist? If not, maybe you should talk to one. Medication can help.

Answer 8

It's great that you came here, but you really need to talk to a professional. This really sounds like bipolar disorder, but you really need to talk to someone who will know for sure. Good luck to you. As a mentally ill person getting treatment, I can assure you that it really can be okay. Honest. It's so strong of you to confront this!

Answer 9

OMFG

Every single word you just said, that is me 100% i do all the same things you do. I know how it feels. IM in one of my moods right now. A door was lock for class and i got really pissed. i cant help you but i know what your going through.

good luck ....if you ever need someone to talk to . e mail me!!

Answer 10

Sorry but you could have lots of things that make you this way. You really do sound like you need to see somebody in mental health they can help you sort this out.
Good luck