I am a married woman, but have recently met another woman that tickles my fancy. My husband and I should not have married in the first place, but we did and although we love each other we don't like eachother. We are constantly fighting and never are able to see eye-to-eye. We have children and that is the reason that I stay, and I try to distinguish between the two evils of either raising children in a dysfunctional home or a broken home and since neither is right, I often find myself beating myself up or neglecting how I feel and for some reason this seems like the right thing to do seeing as my children couldnt pick thier parents. This other woman feels just like what I need and she is there exactly when I need her and has been for some time now. At first I felt bad about seeing her, but now I don't. I feel that my relationship with her is just as bad as his relationship with the nudie store. Thanks for listening I needed to vent.
2007-03-08 10:43:26 · 17 answers · asked by ldkeyes82 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can totally relate. I am going through the exact same thing. However, I realize that I am in love with all that I am getting from her, that I am not getting at home. Encouragement, companionship, etc.
If you decide to work on your marriage, you will need to get outside help. If you decide to end your marriage, you will need to spend some time alone and take a good hard look at yourself and your reality before jumping into any other relationships.
Whatever you decide, just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Not much help I guess, but just know you are not the only one out there in this situation.
2007-03-09 07:49:37 · answer #1 · answered by In Your Shoes 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truly know that there is nothing that you and your husband can do to get your marriage back on the right track,then yes you should probably leave.It's really unhealthy on the children to have 2 parents fighting all the time.yes it Will take time for them to get use to not having both parents under the one roof,but as they get a little older they will completely understand as they will learn themselves that they would rather have 2 happy parents living separately than having 2 miserable parents together,and you don't want your children to feel guilty when they find out that you only stayed in a unhappy marriage for their sake,but if you do decide to leave please don't rush into another relationship as your children might take it as a kick in the teeth per say,and you need time to re find who you are as a individual/single person all over again.I hope that whatever path you choose to take that it's the right one for you.Take care.
2007-03-08 14:53:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
happy parents make happy children. it takes courage to leave a marriage, but if you've found someone, regardless of gender, that makes you happy, then i think you should be with her. it will hurt your husband and your children at first but eventually it may be the best thing for everyone. life almost never turns out the way we plan but life is long and life is short. you can live with your unhappy marriage for the next few decades or die in a few months regretting never having been with the one you truly love. You're not being selfish. Divorce is not the end of the world for your kids. As long as you & your husband can handle it in a mature manner and not use the kids against each other. That's my opinion anyway.
Good luck! :-)
2007-03-08 10:56:03 · answer #3 · answered by RedDevyl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a very good mother to stay in a home where you are unhappy just for your kids. First I applaud you for being the kind of parent that considers the children we need more of these parents these days. Second and most important maybe you could true a trial seperation living outside of the home before you go for a divorce. Good luck, hang in there!
2007-03-08 10:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by cutie gal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sheesh, this is a tuffy! First don't you think them babies feel your heart elsewhere? Sure they do, they sense more than most give them credit for, they may not be able to speak of it, but whoa do they feel it. A home is not made of what you see on the tv and it's not something you keep together for them. Them babies need and deserve adults around them that are mentally there & physically there, if you are thinking ur heart is with that other woman you are divided and not truely there for them kids. You are showing them the wrong way to have a family, its not kept together out of obligation or for looks its built, nurtured and mended together with love, respect & trust. Do what's right.
2007-03-08 11:04:33 · answer #5 · answered by WOW U all make me feel normal! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look first you need to view your options is this the example that I want to lead for my kids? Then you have to think about growing them up in a dysfunctional home or a broken one. Which one do you think would affect them the most. If you leave or you stay it wouldn't be a good situation for them. I think honestly that you shouldn't stay in an unhappy marriage for the kids. You won't be happy and you wold stress him out as he would do to you and the kids would then feel the stress.
2007-03-08 11:05:01 · answer #6 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a single parent home is not a broken home. trust me. a broken home would be me with my son's father and him leaving me every 5 minutes because he doesn't know what he wants. he's better off without him. i had two friends in this situation, they both had kids, they both got divorced and now they are as happy as they ever were. don't stay for the kids. they know when their parents aren't happy. it hurts them, worse than if you just got divorced in the first place. they will get over it. that is why they are kids. if they hear the constant arguing and fighting, it makes them have hard hearts. trust me. it's better to have two separate parents that are civil to each other than to have two married parents that can't even talk to each other because they hate each other so much.
2007-03-08 10:54:47 · answer #7 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what is right for the kids and get divorced and stay friends, follow your heart but don't forget it does impact your kids. Having grown up in an unhappy home life that was kept together for the 'sake of the kids' I can honestly say DON"T STAY FOR THE KIDS it hurts them to see you argue, very much.
2007-03-08 10:51:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The devil is tempting you something fierce. PRAY PRAY PRAY. I will pray for you as well. Sounds like you need to think about how things were when you got married to your husband...and maybe contact a marriage counselor in your area to explain all of this too. Be strong.
2007-03-08 10:50:00 · answer #9 · answered by ~♥Anna♥~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should follow your heart and if you think the other woman feels the same talk to your husband. after all we only live once for your kids you should talk to them depending on their ages. I really hope you make a great choice and hope you feel better.
I wish you the best,
Lokita
2007-03-08 10:50:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋