My ex-husband has said some really nasty things to me and his words keep ringing in my head.
He has called me selfsh, stubborn and dishonest. He also left me voicemails saying that I am a "mental case."
He also blames me for abandoning our child when he has sole physical and legal custody since he lives in another state. I did not want to fight him during the divorce and gave it to him. He moved to another state and left our child with his mother. I repeatedly asked him to send her to me and he did not agree.
I stayed in his house for a few weeks and he calls me a "thief." I did not take anything of his from the house.
How do I not let his words haunt me and make me feel bad about myself?
2007-03-08 10:41:57 · 10 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's hard to cut him out of your life when a child is involved. I hope writing all his words helped make them transparent. He is trying to hurt you and succeeding. Hasn't he broken the custody agreement by moving out of state and leaving the child with Grandma? Get yourself together and move on as best you can and keep your contact to a minimum. You both may be wonderful people not meant to be married to each other. Look in the mirror...honestly decide if he is right or wrong...fix what needs fixing...and MOVE ON!
2007-03-08 10:51:08 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want your child back with you ..... you needs to save all the messages to use in the future. Being that he has custody and your child is not even living with him is strange. If you want your child, then fight for her....it appears that you have the ammunition to fight him ..... the judge will not be happy at all with his phone calls....make sure that you don't respond or leave the same types of messages, then you are just shooting yourself in your own foot. If your child is old enough to choose where she wants to be then don't mess up her stability....leave her where she is, but visit often, if she see that you are trying, and you are becoming more comfortable to her.....then later she may choose to go with you. But you have to document all the bad, and save all the recordings from your x husband.
The things that he is saying he is saying to hurt you, but if they are not true, then you have nothing to worry about. But all the name calling is bad.....and you left your little girl with him, and she is probably hearing him talk all this junk about you.....she will not hold you in very high standing......so you need to see her often. You are her mother.....if you do not want anything to do with her then stay away.
2007-03-08 19:00:07 · answer #2 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you believe the things he said about you? I suspect you might believe some or all of the things he said either totally or parts of what he said to you whether or not those things are true. Please seek counseling you may have a problem with stinkin thinkin and you need a checkup from the neckup.
He is hurting and hurting people hurt people. He is a control freak and very upset you broke part of his grip, so he is trying the psychological stuff to either bring you to him or to make you feel miserable like him. He did not want custody he wants you. He is a peckerhead that cant please a woman in any form.
2007-03-08 19:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by En1gma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I almost hate to say this, because you have been through alot. But you sound very young and very self-absorbed. Your ex-husbands words are not what should haunt you...you and your ex have given birth to a child, and neither of you cares enough to make damn sure it has a good healthy stable life to grow and thrive in. Quit acting wimpy, go fight for your child and raise him/her to be happy healthy and strong.
2007-03-08 18:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't give him the power to make u feel bad about u, u know you, and u know why he is accusing u of stealing, its because he did not get his way. your self worth is suffering, due to living so many years under the thumb of this controlling man. is there any way u can get custody of your child? don't let his ugly opinion of u matter, he isn't god, all u really have to worry about is how god sees u. he is the mental case, not u. don't let him do this to u, don't allow it. think higher of yourself, don't believe the lie he is telling. he just did not get his way so the next best thing is to try to control u, by saying bad things, that make u feel worthless, he wants u to feel as worthless as he feels.
2007-03-08 18:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are the things he said to, and about you, true? If they are you need to feel bad about yourself for a long time to come. If not true, why is it bothering you? Could you perhaps have a guilty conscience??
2007-03-08 18:50:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is trying to make you feel that way, bad about yourself, i bet he was controlling within your marriage ????
Totally ignore him....... You know you are better than him, and im sure he would like to think that he is upsetting you.
"DONT LET" him make you feel bad about yourself ok.. and yes seek coucilling for yourself, it does help.
2007-03-08 18:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by smileyone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is the one being selfish tell him to stop calling you and only contact you when it has something to do with your kid
2007-03-08 18:52:17 · answer #8 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's doing it to get a rise out of you. who cares what he thinks? ( i know you do but the trick is to make him think it doesn't bother you, like we all had to do in elementary school.) then he won't do it anymore. just ignore him. or act like it at least.
2007-03-08 19:01:03 · answer #9 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling, he got into your head (that bastard!) You are not any of the things he said your are, time will heal this.
2007-03-08 18:46:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋