my mom just called me in tears saying that my cousin Kelly says that she's disowned her because that she fells like my mom abandoned me and that she has shoved me off onto my grandma. my grandma is trying to help me and do everything to help me but she is to old and everyone is trying to get her to stop and get help for herself but she won't listen.
basically I have been shoved from one place to another trying to survive and each time I'm between two parties that blame each other for not taking care of me an they think the other is doing me wrong but both are helping me and trying to get me some help.
what did I do to become such a source of such commotion and how do I stop it. everybody trying to blame the problems I'm having on someone else and it hurts me because they are my love ones and friends.
what do I do.
2007-03-08 10:16:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well for one it's not your fault and never blame yuourself neither. What happens between themis their problem not yours. ALl you can do for the meantime is do as your told and leave to get by and never complain. Because remember when your 18 and an adult you will be free to become whatever you want to be. SO don't worry and when they start complaining just leave the rom or go outside and just think how long yu need to wait till you can become an adult. AND always learn form whatever goes around and what happens and try not to do the same mistakes. ANd anywhere and everywhere you go just LOOK, LISTEN and WATCH and it will help you go far. SO want to chat just IM me anytime.
2007-03-08 10:28:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Im very sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time, It doesnt sound good for you at all at the moment but I can tell you that things always change, it is the nature of life. So things wont stay this bad forever. I have had very bad times in my life and they have always finished and I have come out the other side. I know that family relationships can sometimes cause an intense amount of pain, but there is hope.
I think that the adults in your life should be responsible, and they should be thinking about you but instead they are all squabbling. It isnt fair on you. Is there someone trusted that you could speak to maybe a teacher? or a friends mum? or a doctor or counsellor at school? If not or if this idea is no good, perhaps you could write everyone that is arguing in your family a seperate letter and give it to them at the same time, so they can read it and take it in and then speak to them about it later. The letter could explain what their behaviour is doing to you and how sad it makes you feel. To be honest they may be so wrapped up in their own arguments etc, that they are not thinking that it could be effecting you. I really hope it works out, and try and find someone to talk to, a problem shared is often a problem halved. Good luck.
I have just had another idea, although perhaps others could give a bit of feedback on it, to check its ok. What about printing this question and answers out and giving it to the people in your family, that way they can see that not only you, but other people think they should sort out their arguing for your sake and they should put you first. However I would not expect miracles at first, and I do agree with some of the others who say learn to concentrate on your needs. You are only young you shouldnt have to cope with the weight of all this, but then again your family should not be putting you through it.
2007-03-08 18:36:49 · answer #2 · answered by puddleduck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty or bad for the opinion of another person. You are not responsible for how others feel, act or think. You are however, responsible for your own thoughts and actions. Take a real look at where you are now, where you want to be and brain storm as to how you might get there. Write goals and find ways to better your situation. Find positive, empowering, and uplifting people to be with!
2007-03-08 18:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by tenringshot2004 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are under 18, then all you can do is try the best that you can do to take care of yourself. You would have to realize the limitations you have, and what it is you CAN do to help yourself.
If you were an adult, I would tell you to tell everyone that you are responsible for your problems and to let you handle it. But only if you were an adult.
2007-03-08 18:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by lucielu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very interesting predicament. In this kind of a situation there's not much you can do. Espicailly when they won't listen to you anyway. I would let this situation play itself out. Also try to get them focused on helping you with your problems instead of blaming others for them.
Best of Luck!
2007-03-08 18:21:43 · answer #5 · answered by The Flying Porcupine 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Life is never fair..but to me it sounds mom did not own up to her responsibities and you are paying for it...i was in similar sitution ..and believe me i learned from there mistakes ..does not mean it was okay for what happen but i promise that all this crap will make you good person so just remember it is not your fault so let roll off and live the best that YOU can...
2007-03-08 18:24:25 · answer #6 · answered by LARENA B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit every one down and tell them how this is afecting you. tell them how you feel for once there really just being selfish you just happen to be in the middle of it. Tell them what you want form them and what you don't want from them.
2007-03-08 18:21:38 · answer #7 · answered by C.K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just forget about it and get on with your life. im not saying that in a mean way.
2007-03-08 18:20:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋