child support by private agreement?.. can she diddle me?

Question

I pay my child support by direct debit weekly. and have done for the last 4 years (since my child was born). This is by 'verbal' private agreement (not written).

I have heard some horror stories.. can my ex claim from csa for the whole last 4 years by saying that i have never paid anything?. I keep some bank statements but not all. If its not written.. could she just say that the money i have paid was for something different (eg. money owed etc).. and that i have never paid anything in child maintenence???

Appreciate answers from professionals in the know. ta.

Answer 1

Even if you dont keep any of your bank statements if she does claim you havent paid her its on your permanent bank records and you can request a copy of these from the bank to show the CSA. If you get taken to court the court can also order your bank to produce these records in court and they will exonerate you

Answer 2

I'm not a professional but do know one must keep correct records. And you should have it in writing. When its paid out of your account do you state that its for Child support? Might be good for you to contact a "Real Attorney" however if your like some you could get by and never have a problem yet in today's world its good to have things in black and white and have back up records in other words all canceled checks or bank statements.

Answer 3

You didn't indicate if there is an order for child support, or you are merely paying support for a child for which there is no order.

If there is an order for child support, and you are paying it directly to the custodial parent, as others have said, you must keep exacting records. Your bank should be able to produce them for you, but you need to keep your own records also. In other words, NEVER throw away or shred your check registers and/or your bank statements, as this is a way to show that you are paying child support and how much. Make sure the memo on the debit shows its for child support, and the name of the child.

If there IS an order for child support, and the relationship deteriorates, you could find yourself in a real mess. Depending on the terms of the order, the Court could constitute your payments to her as gifts, and you are thus in arrears for 4 years, plus accrued interest.

I recommend you sit down with a family law attorney in your state and review the situation to make sure you are protected. For a referral, contact your local or state bar association.

Answer 4

Why would she go to the CSA if you have paid her regularly for the past 4 years with no problems???? If you have been paying and it is not enough surely she would ask for more unless something has happened between you to make you think that she is going to go through the CSA

I personally wouldnt worry about it - try asking her if it is enough and if she is still happy with the arrangement made 4 years ago - if she says no then discuss it - no point in worrying about something that might never happen

Answer 5

You would only have to make payments from when your ex made a claim to the csa. Not for the last 4 years even if she claims you haven't supported your child. I think this used to be the case but recently the rules have changed and now the date the claim is made is used for assessments.

Answer 6

Because you have made regular payments for the past 4 years it would be extremely hard for her to say it was for anything else like the previous answers keep bank statements but as it is direct debit you should be fine as it can be proved the payments were made - just never give her cash

Answer 7

You need to keep every receipt or bank statement for everything that you have given to your child.
Might be worth settle up a simple contract yourself with her so she doesn't try and get the money you have already paid the child again.

Answer 8

I would contact your bank, and pay for all records of bank activity for the last four years.

If this issue does go to court, I would assert that the regularity and uniformity of payments establishes that the monies were payments for child support.

However, even before litigation, I would write a letter to my ex, stating how much in child support she had received, and continues to receive.

I would also confirm visitation agreements the parties had stipulated to.

That way, you have it in writing your payments to your ex were intended for payment of the child support.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Your bank should be able to provide a history for you. You should get it. Sometimes child support is not about the child at all, but deep personal issues that probaly exacerbated your already bad relationship.

Answer 10

even if you have all receipts, she can still rattle your cage and make you prove it was paid/ what it was paid for.... and yes, she can claim you were paying off a personal debt to her too, if she wanted to.

you see, court ordered child support protects everyone; for it keeps track and there is no dispute. some dispute payments, but that is adjusted once proven.

DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/creep/deadbeatparentssuck/
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm
www.goodparentspay.com

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATORS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html

CHILD SUPPORT LAWS
http://www.lectlaw.com/files/fam11.htm

LAWS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states.htm
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

STATS
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/acesstatistics.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/

FED AGENCIES
http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml
http://www.naag.org/issues/issue-consumer.php

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

SSI AND CHILD SUPPORT
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/policybriefs/pb2004-02.html
http://www.ssa.gov/notices/supplemental-security-income/
http://family.findlaw.com/

FIND YOUR STATE REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html

http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp