why does a girls virginity hold more value than a boys, and why do parents teach girls about sex negetively?

Question

mostly christian view

Answer 1

Since you asked about the Christian view that's exactly which view I'm answering from.

Before you read this it might be important to know that before i became a Christian and invited Jesus to be Lord of my life, I used to go from girl to girl experience to experience and now that I'm a Christian, having gotten married and been incredibly happy that way for the past 6 years I can TRULY say that Gods way is MUCH better. So what I'm about to say is more than just theory. Gods Word works!

OK, well first, I can assure you that the Bible NEVER teaches that a girls purity has any more value than a mans to God. I would challenge anyone who thinks that to show me a verse where that is done. Now there may be some cultural stigma because women can SHOW (via pregnancy) the proof of sex before marriage whereas men cant directly do that (unless a disease of some kind shows up in an obvious way). But that's culture. That's people. That's not God or the Biblical Christian view of things.

And also the Bible doesn’t teach about sex in any kind of negative light. It teaches about the abuse and misuse of sex in a negative light. Within the bounds of marriage (1 man and 1 woman) it boldly declares that "The marriage bed is undefiled" ie. have fun!
It says sex within marriage is the closest physical representation on earth to the beauty, intimacy, and communion of what it means to have a spiritual relationship with God.
God created Adam and Eve both naked in a perfect environment...hello! God's no prude. He wants sex kept within the bonds of marriage for the same reason you keep a fire within the bonds of a fireplace. It's SO powerful that it's misuse can lead to destruction.
ie. Pornography, promiscuity, prostitution, and other perversions of what God made all have major physiological, emotional and spiritual consequences. Which i had experienced first hand. There are MANY studies that confirm this, a quick internet search on the topic should suffice.


As far as Scriptures that talk about sex.
The Song of Solomon (careful it's racy, so much so that some Jewish homes had a custom not to let someone under 30 years old read it!) is filled with it. It's in fact nothing but a clear (though poetic) expression of the progression of courtship where a young man and woman meet, fall in love, start having MAJOR desires for one another, emotionally and physically. But encourage one another to wait until they get married, which they do and then well...you'll blush when you read it.

I have been to many churches, I've read the Bible on the subject, I've even been to several Christian conferences where it was openly addressed. NEVER have I heard sex put in some kind of negative light to young people male or female. Rather the point was made (to both) that it was something so sacred and special that you should save it as a gift of love, as a proof of devotion, for your mate on your wedding day.
What an evil system it is to have been with so many different girls that whenever I got with the next one she was “compared” with the last one. What a demeaning thing!
Gods way creates trust, and security. It takes away fear of being made to feel or making someone else feel “not good enough” sexually.
Sexual intimacy has gone from being a meat-shop kind of thing with me (as it is in the culture) to being a beautiful Gift from a Loving and Holy God between my wife and I.
Now In those conferences, I HAVE heard it said, especially to young females that they ought to be extra careful because of the greater physical/emotional consequences females suffer from sexually transmitted diseases. (The lady speaking was an expert on the topic I don’t remember all her examples but I will try to list a few)

A guy cant get pregnant, a guy is not nearly as affected by HPV, a guy even stands less of a chance getting A.I.D.S.
under certain conditions etc.

Here’s a link about HPV
http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/STDFact-HPV-and-men.htm#symptoms

Good source of info about psychological effects of pre-marital sex Christian teens are warned about:

http://www.teen-aid.org/Abstinence_Education/psychological_argument_for_abstinence_and_commitment.htm#_Consequences_Of_Premarital

However I've NEVER heard special warnings to girls emphasized in any sort of Spiritual way.

IE. Its a greater sin for a girl to have sex before marriage than for a boy to do so.



So to summarize: The Christian view of Sex, praises of its use and warning about it’s misuse can easily be compared to how a person deals with, and instructs other about Fire. It’s beautiful and amazing rightly used, its deadly in the wrong context.

I will list several Scripture references for you to look up to verify that I am indeed giving you the Christian point of view on this subject.

This first one says that it’s a COMMANDMENT that husbands and wives should not deny each other sexually so that neither of them is tempted to commit adultery.

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." [I Corinthians 7:3-5]


Marriage is compared with Christ’s relationship with the Church

Ephesians 5:25-32
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Misuse of sex compared to misuse of Fire

Proverbs 6: 27-29
27Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
28Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
29So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.


Even in the Jewish laws of the OT, both parties were punished equally for sexual miscounduct

Leviticus 20:10
10And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

And of course Jesus response which changes the matter from a Jewish civil to a universal spiritual law:

John 8
1Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.
2And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

Note several things:
1. Where was the man? The law demanded that BOTH of them be punished but the Pharisees hypocritically only brought the woman forward. This is an old vise condemned in Scripture.
2. Jesus didnt deny that she deserved to be punished only that those seeking to do it had no right to do so since they were all guilty. He alone, being morally perfect held that right.
3. He did not take that right but rather showed mercy and left her with the warning "go and sin no more." Meaning young women/men are taught that even if they DO "fall" there's mercy and a second chance with God.

Lastly:

THe only direct warning regarding sexual sin I am aware of addressed to a young person in the New Testament is addressed to a young preacher! Paul the Apostle wrote this to Timothy who was his protege:

2 Timothy 2:22
22Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

OK, well I hope that suffices to make the case for the call to sexual purity for both men and women in the Bible and shows that there is indeed no partiality in such matters and that it's proper use is encouraged but impoper use is strictly warned against because of the devestating effects.

Answer 2

there is a good reason why the parents teach against early sex.when you are a virgin its nice because you never been violated as of yet and this makes you ready for your new husband.this is the old way that they did this.these people usuly go to church and are boring.when a young girl is ready for sex you should try to keep her busy in the house.not let peer presure get to your child.as a preteen you should enjoy your live.sex isn't where its at.especially if you live in acommunity that calls you names.

Answer 3

It is a perplexing double standard that spreads across many cultures, societies, and time periods.

Why do we assume that boys can't control themselves?

Answer 4

Why I don't know. I just know the idea messed me up for a few years. I was so hooked on waiting to marry, I didn't date or meet enough people.

Answer 5

Because girls can get pregnant. And you dont want kids when you are 13.

Answer 6

technically there is no such thing as a man losing his virginity. they just use the term loosly meaning it was the first time a boy/man has had sex.

only a female can loose her virginity.

Answer 7

i was told not to come home pregnant

Answer 8

Well, it doesnt, and never has.

Answer 9

Women have a hymen and men don't.