My friend called me a few hours ago, hysterically crying. Her son is 6 months old and loves his bouncy chair, so she will put him in, but she always sits with him while he is in it. I know and she knows hes way to big for it, but he loves sitting in it. She has tried other seats, but he will not sit in them, he fusses, he likes the bouncy chair. Well this morning he was in it, and she was sitting right with him, she turned her head for just a few seconds and he feel forward. He was strapped in but she feels so awful. I keep telling her shes not a bad mother but she can't seem to understand that accidents happen and its ok. She tossed the bouncy chair out, but feels that she is a bad mother for letting him sit in it. She was right there, and thats what makes her feel worse. Any advice on how to make her feel better?
2007-03-08 07:54:27 · 11 answers · asked by Proud Mother 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Hopefully enough parents will respond to this that she can see she isn't alone. No one likes to admit to something like this with their own child, but if she did and I did it I'm sure plenty of others did too.
When my daughter was that age I left her in the middle of the bed while putting away laundry - she moved to edge and rolled right off and I was right there with her. Another time when she first started walking we were at a mall and I was looking at purses, I kept glancing down at her, but she took off and went straight for the escalator - I ran after her but was two steps too slow and she tumbled down about 8 stairs (she ended up with one stitch below her lip). When she was 1 1/2 my mother was walking her in the stroller not strapped in - my daughter stood up and ended up face first on the pavement with a bump, bruise and scrape that lasted 2 weeks. Then when she was about 2 I let her lie down in a shopping cart (yes, the part they're not supposed to be in) because she was tired. As I was checking out, she decided to get out, and hit her head on the floor - yet another trip to the ER. When she was 5...
...no need to go one, I'm sure you get the point. We do things with our children, even things that are not recommended, because we think they'll be okay in our care - and most of the time they are. And while your friends baby's accident was preventable (as were all the ones I mentioned above) your friend did not set out to harm her son. And the greatest thing about babies in this situation is that as soon as they stop crying they forget about it, and at this age they won't hold it against you.
2007-03-08 08:18:26 · answer #1 · answered by M S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, tell her this story. When my son was 1 year old I was making his lunch and he was sitting on a regular dining room chair, about 2 feet away from me. He stood up (facing the back of the chair) and in 1 second tipped the chair over backwards and broke the fall with his face. He had a bloody nose and was screaming like nobody's business, but luckily the teeth were OK and all he had when it was all over was a fat lip for a day or so. Am I a bad mother? No, I am a mother, and it happens to all of us, and it happened to all of us when we were kids too, and we somehow survived. She is not a bad mother. She is a mother who loves her son and doesn't want to see him hurt. That's a good mother, in my book. BTW, she should get the bouncy seat back from the trash...if he loves it that much, then throwing it out will be more upsetting to him than the actual fall. Good luck to you and your friend!
2007-03-08 08:01:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
That does not make her a bad parent! A lot of accidents happen when a parent is within arms reach!
Now, if the child was too big/too small for the chair or not strapped in that might be bad. But she should not feel bad if she did everything right.
2007-03-08 08:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda Run 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heck my daughter got a broken leg just 2 ft in front of me.
She was 3 years old and jumping off the seat of a recliner onto the carpeted floor. I watched her do it a few times then she just sat on the floor after one jump. I asked her if she was done jumping and she said she couldn't stand up. No crying or tears at all. I told her to crawl over to me, I was 8 months pregenant. She crawled over and I saw her ankle was bruised very badly. I took her to the hospital, think I was being paranoid, since she was my first child, but afraid to not take her. Well they x-rayed her leg and it was broken.
Your friends son didn't get hurt and even if he had, accidents do happen. If you are honest with the doctors about what caused the injury they know it. When I told the doctor what my daughter was doing he said it followed the type of break she had. So she got a bright pink cast and I had to stop her from jumping down concrete steps the following week...lol
2007-03-08 08:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by justweird_sodeal 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stuff happens...it sucks but its true.
She was there and being careful and doing everything she could to ensure his safety AND she got rid of the chair...what can you do?
The best thing she can do is realize that her son needs a sane mommy that isn't too wracked with guilt to function....babies pick up on bad vibes...
So if she keeps trippin out on this...baby will notice and feed on it...
Tell her to buck up, let it go and move on...if baby's ok...don't cry over spilt milk.
2007-03-08 08:00:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you said all there is to say. Accidents happen. It's part of life and part of being a parent. It's not like she put the kid out in on-coming traffic!
2007-03-08 08:00:21 · answer #6 · answered by sneaky squirrel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not that funny, but I can't help but laugh. She's still a new mommy, and its probably the first big bang her kid has had.
She's not a bad mother. Accidents do happen.
2007-03-08 08:00:55 · answer #7 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accidents happen I think she is being way to hard on herself! She is not a bad mom because of that!
2007-03-08 07:59:25 · answer #8 · answered by Sakora 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know she is probably just overwhelmed. And I'll bet that all she really needs is encouragment and maybe you can offer to babysit the little one for her so that she can go to the grocery store or get her hair done or somethign just for herself...I know she will feel much much better
2007-03-08 08:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by Ria B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No mother is perfect...she needs to learn from her mistakes. Failure is an inevitable—and essential—part of life.
2007-03-08 08:06:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋