would u take offence?

Question

im a lesbian and always use the word dyke. my girlfriend hates when i say it. does anyone else think its a bad thing?

Answer 1

This is from a gay males perspective:
I find it the same as Blacks using the 'N' word amongst themselves and gay males using (as I call it) the gay 'F' word amongst themselves! It seems to be OK, it seems to be socially acceptable! I don't agree, I feel that if people form outside those communities hear the people within those communities calling each other names that we generally think of as bad, as nasty, as socially unacceptable then they say to themselves well it they can call each other that then it must be ok, they must not mind being called that so it must be ok for us to call them that too! Is it? I don't think so!
It has a lot to do with the way the word is being used! If it is thrown at somebody who is from that community in a hateful way then yeah it is definitely not ok! I think though that we should all stop using those words all together whether they are being used in a hateful way or not! Words can change though, I remember when I came 'out' Queer was not an acceptable word to be used when referring to somebody who is gay, now it seems to be ok, it seems to be acceptable within the gay community! Go figure!!! Hope this is helpful. *hugs* JAC<

Answer 2

Depending how it's used. Either way, it's only a bad thing if people make it out to be. It's just a word and people can give power to it if they want to, which is usually what's done. I would prefer to use that word myself. Just because lesbians use it among themselves doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Kinda like dark skinned people using the N word among each other, as positive, not the negative way it has been used.

Answer 3

I call myself a dyke...
I can tell when people use it like it's a bad thing. If they use it against me, I say something like, "you say that like it's a bad thing?" and try to catch them off guard with a sweet smile.

Answer 4

I think the context behind the word has become quite a negative...so I guess if I was your girlfriend it would bother me as well...but it also is a matter of opinion on what the word means to you as well

Answer 5

I absolutely hate it, always have. It cunjures up the image of a rough type. Definitely butch and usually seen as aggressive.

Answer 6

if you're using it in public, you're effectively desensitizing the word and in the long run, sooner or later someone is going to use it on you in the way it was inteded, as a derogatory, demeaning and hateful word

Answer 7

I'm not crazy about it either. But I'm not overly crazy about labels anyway. I prefer Lesbian.

Answer 8

I always thought of it as at least mildly derogatory. No matter who is saying it.

Answer 9

Tell your girlfriend to stop whining. Its a word, didn't she hear that old nursery rhyme... sticks and stones...etc.

Answer 10

i dont like it very much but i do use it.. i know how you feel thou my girlfriend also gets angry when i use it.. it is a hurtful word to some thou