Can anyone tell me about divorce?

Question

OK, I have been married for 8 years. My wife and I have split up and until two weeks ago we were working on things. Now she wants a divorce, we are still friends but I don't think there is any chance of use sorting things out. I don't know anything about divorce, I don't really want to divorce my wife but I'm not going to stop her. can anyone explain the process? i.e. how long will it take? is their an easier way? will it be expensive? what rights do I have?

Thanks Sam

We have three kids, but no money, house to share out

Also we are from the UK, sorry

Answer 1

My ex and I split up about ten years ago in the UK. We had no children and were able to come to an amicable agreement about dividing our assets etc.

We waited two years (during which time we had very little contact) and then had a no blame divorce. My ex filed the papers himself at the county court. A little under a year later we were divorved. With as little heartbreak as possible. The cost to file was less than a hundred pounds and then there was a further fee to pay to get the nisci if I remember rightly.

It doesn't have to cost you everything if you can work things out. Even childcare doesn't have to involve lawyers if you can satisfy the court that you have arranged it and are both happy.

I had a book called something like Divorce:the things you thought you'd never need to know and it was very helpful.

Answer 2

Hi Sam, Well at least you are talking that's a start! The time it takes to divorce really depends on if you have anything to argue about. if you can both come to a reasonable agreement then there is really no need to get solicitors involved too much (they just make loads of money out of you) I got divorced nearly 9 years ago and my husband was very difficult and it cost me 6K

Good luck

Answer 3

My brothers divorce didn't cost him anything. he went through Legal Aid. If there are kids then the process takes longer because in most states there is a 1 year waiting period.(for chance of reconciliation) Then there is the custody aspects. Unless there is no kids. That's all I really know Sorry.

Answer 4

My husband and I are in the process right now. There was no mediation, no contesting, no child or spousal support. Basic, straight forward separation and divorce.
I got an attorney to do it, he didn't need one because we're not fighting over $ or anything, so we split the cost (also still friendly). The separation was $800, we waited 12 months- typical for NY state, now to file the divorce papers it's another $1000. That's it.
There may be a cheaper way. In some states you can just go to the county clerk yourself. Unfortunately, in NY an attorney has to do it.
Good luck!

Answer 5

I can tell you this.. its sucks and its nasty.. and it will get nastier in court.. with no fault divorce.. you really dont have any say in it anyway as to divorce or not.. only takes one..

Your best bet is to prob just split things up.. sign the papers and get it overwith by agreement.. other wise its gonna take lawyers and up to 2 years of court if you fight it (I fought mine LOL) If you can agree on everything its not that expensive.. basically filing fees a few hundred maybe..
I can tell you another thing.. being divorced certainly cured me of even thinking about getting married again, once was enough...

Answer 6

Divorce takes around 6 months to complete if you and your wife do not argue over things. It could get expensive if you constantly need to deal with solicitors. When I got divorced, I had to apply to the court for my divorce to be granted and on what grounds I wanted them. My ex partner then had to agree or not to this. Then once that is complete, you then get a decree nisi, about six weeks later your decree absolute. Hold ups to the process may be if there are kids involved and settlements. Not worth fighting the process though if it is what your wife truely wants. Its very sad to hear and I can emphasis what you must be going through, I so sorry.

Answer 7

You need to talk to a divorce lawyer. They can answer any questions you have. This could get messy!

Answer 8

Ok, I divorced my first husband 10 years ago and it cost me £100! We too had 3 kids, rented council house and no assets to split. I just went to the courts, filled in the form paid the £100. Ex was then sent petition which he then signed and sent back to the court, six weeks later recieved decree nici and then six weeks after that received decree absolute. Don't line the pockets of lawers if you don't need to. It really was as easy as that. I live in England by the way.

Answer 9

You dont have to divorce her if you dont want to,she cant force you to...She'd have to prove what ever claims she put on the divorce papers,It will be expensive if you do it with solicitors,they just want your money..Thye dont give a toss about feelings,its only money they are after...
Dont be bullied into a divorce......
Let her do all the running if she wants it...CAB, best bet for advice..also get a free half hour at a good solicitors...Listen to the advice given but dont be fooled that you are bound by what they say.....

Answer 10

If you can both come to full agreement on who gets what, then it will be painless and cheap (~$300 to $500) - you will be able to do it yourselves at the county courthouse.

If either of you gets a lawyer involved and fights for the money, property, kids, etc - then it is very very painful and will cost you both tens of thousands in legal fees.