I left my husband last yr because I discovered he was seeing someone and talking about love and such this was all done through txt msg and emails. Weeks later swore up and down it was over and that he loved me and wanted to make things work. I came back but now I am suspicous that every txt msg he makes and every time he gets on the computer hes doing something wrong but he does this in front of me and tells me oh its just so and so or look at the email I got but one time I was looking at the email I saw he still had her as a contact I told him to delete it but he was all upset why cant I trust him and stuff he just forgot to delete it and I walked away to avoid arguement. Should I trust him.
2007-03-08 07:24:49 · 14 answers · asked by memyslf&I 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you should go to counseling to figure out why you can't trust him after you came back to him. I would think he would delete the contact from his email - but some people are just lazy and don't do these things.
You need to really think - is he making things work in your relationship - does he show you that he loves you? That would be the best thing he should be doing to prove himself to you.
2007-03-08 07:32:06 · answer #1 · answered by Confussedhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, you already have the answer. Having these feelings shows you just don't trust him. Also, if he was still having her as a contact, well.. What else can I say? This is a popular saying in my country:
"Any old shoe I've thrown away, never will I pick it up again".
It's just so much more difficult to trust any unfaithful men, then to regain your life again with the triumph feeling that you deserve better. Now, there is one last question left in the air. Was your husband physically with someone else or is he just obsessed/addicted to internet chats? Not that it would make him any less guilty, but having an internet addiction is after all an illness. Analize it all and find a counselor or a specialist to help you out in this difficult situation. Take care.
2007-03-08 15:41:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are not asking the right question. The question should be "what is he doing to win be over now". And it should be addressed to your husband. Also, get prepared and list a few things that you would like him to stop doing because it makes you upset - like stop any contact with that person. Then you monitor and see if he is making enough of an effort to regain your trust. If not - then you are better off without him. Take care!
2007-03-08 15:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by Alyssa Macey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he got upset because you wanted him to delete the contact of a woman he was doing this with before, it sounds like he is hiding something. Explain to him that you will be unable to trust him again unless he is willing to meet you half way, and that includes having NO contact with females on the Internet or text messaging. Otherwise, I'm afraid he may not be as committed as you are, and you will surely continue to get your heart broken.
2007-03-08 15:29:58 · answer #4 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he couldn't delete her in front of you it's not over. You see men throw a fit about trust when they can't be trusted. If he truly changed he would have said okay baby and done it right that instant. Don't beleive the lies girl get out while you still can. Don't torture yourself.
2007-03-08 15:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trusting someone again after betrayal is a hard thing to do for anyone. Your insecurites are valid but your actions on handling your insecurities are not.
I suggest if you two really want this marriage to work then seek professional help. Someone who can help guide you in the direction of forgiveness but not forgetting.
If your husband is cheating, you'll find out.
2007-03-08 15:30:07 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
trust is a big thing in a relationship and he broke you're trust if he was sorry he would have got rid of every bit of evidence that he had of her just be wary and it will take alot of time to build back that trust with him
2007-03-08 15:32:47 · answer #7 · answered by darlolad2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough. Put your trust in God and not your husband. You are going to have to pray your way through this if you want to keep your husband. Period.
2007-03-08 15:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you can't trust him, he is what he is. Continue down the path you have started and don't look back.
The saying is true, once a cheater always a cheater.
2007-03-08 17:16:03 · answer #9 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO - you shouldn't trust him, and chances are you will never be able to trust him again! If he has the capability to do it once, there is a very good chance he will do it again! You should have never gone back!!!!!
2007-03-08 15:30:09 · answer #10 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋