how do i know if i am a battered woman and what do i do?

Question

i know i am a battered woman i just dont know what to do were to go how to get the ball rolling...if you know what i mean...i also have 3 children

Answer 1

YWCA
Crime Victims Assistance Center
SOS Shelter

Or call the United Way and ask for a referral.

Answer 2

Sweetie, you need to call friends and family and tell them that you're ready to take action. Either they already know what's going on, or they will be there to support you.

Call the police, file charges against the person who batters you. Most likely nothing will come of it (great legal system we have), but at least your complaints will be on the record.

File for divorce if you're married, and/or file for a restraining order. You want to make sure your kids are safe.

If friends and family can't/don't help you, seek help from a battered woman's shelter. They will be extremely supportive and will help protect your children.

Do whatever you can to start a new life that doesn't involve an abusive significant other. You should enroll in counseling session so you can collect your thoughts and emotions on the situation and start with a new life.

Answer 3

1- Call a local shelter for battered woman, a support group or a crisis line. They are there for you and can help you gather info you need.

2-Gather together all important documents and info. Health insurance, birth certificates, bank account info, assets, savings etc (you will need to apply for any kind of assistance, lawyer, school for kids)

3- Report it to the police. They are there to help you. They may tell your spouse he needs to leave.

Remember that you can loose your kids if they are exposed to the abuse. Your spouse may hurt you severly or even murder you if he isnt stopped. It does happen. Put the safety of your children and yourself first.

Reach out for support. You are far from alone in this. It is commone enough and you need to talk to others that you can relate to.

Good luck and be strong. You are doing the best thing and never doubt it.

Answer 4

With 3 children, you need to do something right now about your situation. For one thing, your children are already effected by the abuse. What you need to do is leave. If you don't have any family, go to a shelter. There is no excuse for you to stay and put up with being hit. The longer you stay there, the more risk you have of being killed. I had to leave my ex while he was at work and it took me 3 hours to get my stuff and children together and out the door. Make sure you get all of your important papers together and your children's birth certificates and social security cards. Don't tell your man that you are leaving or there will be hell to pay. Leave as soon as you can and good luck. There is no harm in calling the police for assistance if you are in fear of him coming home while you are packing. Please get out of there as soon as possible. Every minute you stay, you are putting yourself and your children at risk. Thank you and may GOD bless.

Answer 5

Click on this website and then click on the tab that says, "Get Educated" for more information. http://www.ndvh.org/help/index.html
If you think you are being battered, you probably are. Please seek a safe place for you and your children as soon as possible. If you have family and friends that you can trust, confide in them. You need all the support you can get right now.
I left an abusive relationship years ago with 2 small children. It isn't easy because most men who batter spend a long time telling us that we aren't any good, nobody will want us, etc... DON'T listen to him. He is only telling you that so you will stay with him. Don't give him that control over you and your kids. You are so worth it!
Good luck to you!

Answer 6

I'm confused. First you ask "how do I know if I'm a battered woman?" Then you say "I know I'm a battered woman."

Before I could advise you on how to make up your mind about what to do about it, I'd have to know if you had made up your mind about whether you are one or not, and what you mean by battered.

Answer 7

Battered women leave their partners an average of eight times before they leave for good. Don't be average. Be exceptional!

Take your kids 'with you' and get an interim custody order right away. I find it diplorable that some people think it is OK to leave the kids if he didn't hurt them directly. What does that say to your kids. It says mommy left us, mommy is bad. Daddy has us he must be good. Mommy must have done something wrong. What do a lot of kids do when they have done something they know is wrong. They run away in some form or another! Are you getting it?Plus if he does this to you he is not exactly a good role model is he? Some guys do end up going at the kids so they are yours too, you protect them and yourself!

Get proof. If you have bruises get photos as fast as you can. When you are shopping sneak an instant camera in the bag whatever works for you but get those photo's. If you can be seen by a doctor do it as soon as you can and take the kids with you. A good family doctor will give you advice regardless if you have bruises or not. Don't cave to the "oh it wasn't really that bad temptation. That happens to a l;ot of people the longer you wait to deal with it. Too long and what we call the honey moon period sets in again.

Look in the phonebook under womens shelters, womens services...maybe the police. Know where those shelters are. Be careful to go there discretely. Phone there from a phone away from home to check it out if you feel you have time.

If you have just had an encounter, it is not too late to press charges. Try to be prepared. When this has been happening over time you can do this. It takes women and men too sometimes, a while before they can admit to themselves that they are being abuised. So, you are over a big hurdle already! Give yourself a hug!

When you are at the shelter write down everything you can remember about this relationship from the start. Do it in any order you can rewrite or tear the paper and put things in chronalogical order later. A computor is the best if you can access one but you don't need it. Our memories block things out. You may find this is a long process. So, get the details of the most recent abuse down ASAP before it softens in your mind. This will help you remember more.

Coucillors at the shelter are there to help you and your kids. Pour it out to them. Listen to peoples stories. This can happen to people from any walk of life son't start judging yourself.

It takes about ten years of being clear of abuze to recover I heard but that is aan odd sort of thing. Everyone is different and I know a lot of people that have never recoverd. Hey! that doesn't have to be you! You will get there if you are determined. You will have a lot of insight from this experience as weel. Down the road you may find you can spot battered women right out in public even without the bruises.

If you need a restraining order don't waste time do it. They are falible so watch your back. It is a statement though and it is not completly useless.

Get out! As hard as it is and it can be the hardest thing you have ever done go through the copurts, get custody, fight wwwwwwby yusing the law. Don't ever break a court order it will backfire.

I remember listening to a woman whose daughter was sexually abused by her father. The mother pressed charges and he was convicted. The little girl was forced by a later court order to visit her father in prison. It makes me so sick. I am crying right now.

Get out get out get out.

If you're luccky one day you will look back on this having found healing, kids are OK and you and your ex are resolved to be at peace with each other.

I love you, please be alright.

Answer 8

honey I can tell you this from experience - I was a battered woman for many years. I know how terrible it is. I also know that you are probably scared to leave. trust me - for your sake and the sake of your children - get out of there now!!! If you have any family that you and thekids can stay with go to them. If not, go to your local police and ask them. They should be able to tell you of a shelter or other safe place you can go. You may need to get a restraining order against the spouse to keep him away from you and the kids. By staying with him you are enabling him. Dont let him comtinue to do this to you. Please leave him immediately.

When I left my ex it didn't take me long to realize that it was the best thing I had ever dont for myself and my kids. I never regretted leaving. Now I have a wonderful husband who treats us soo good. You deserve the same. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

All men who batter women are cowards. Arm yourself with a baseball bat or a huge knife. Next time he batters you, threaten to use this on him when he's asleep. I bet you the coward won't sleep a wink that night! It worked for someone I know. Her husband did not touch her once again. I must add, she was very serious in her threat and he probably realised the game was up.

Answer 10

you can look up womens protective services in your town. They will advise you the best thing to do, usually it is to get out and away from that situation. They have temporary housing for you and your kids. Good luck..no one deserves to be battered.