he told me he loves me.....?

Question

but this was right after an argument...he said that's why he couldn't bear for me to leave and that he does love me and dosen't want 2 lose me.Now that he's told me that I feel myself backing off from him emotionaly...no man has ever told me that he loves me and he just kept saying it over and over which surprised me because he's said that in the past he's always had difficulty in relationships...now I feel myself pushing him away because I'm scared that he really DOES love me and things will slowly fall apart...he dosen't communicate very well and I don't know what to do....

i'd told him I loved him 4 months into the relationship and he withdrew alot so when he said it back to me it threw me for a loop....he asked me if I loved him and I said yes...i do love him but I don't want to get hurt again....

I want to settle down with him and my son...but he's 18 years older then me and I don't want it to come down to the point where he's tired of me or bored with our relationship...especially with all of the arguments we get into...I do love him very much but he dosen't SHOW how much he loves me...

Answer 1

Communicate. He obviously is a guy that doesn't take those words lightly. I am the only girl my guy has ever said those three words to, and ya you feel special, but my guy rarely says them to where i find myself asking him if he still loves me. If your guy kept repeating it, he really means it, and was probably just as surprised as you were that he said it. No where in your question did you say how you feel about him. You need to figure that out, if you are not in love with him, just tell him you are not ready to tell him you love him. reassure him that you care about him, and want to be with him, so that he doesn't totally clam up. Now stop and figure out how you do feel. Stop pulling away, are you stupid, if he loves you you need to hang in there and figure out where your feelings are. If you love each other, things will work out stop making this a problem and start seeing it as a stepping stone in your relationship. If he is anything like my boyfriend, talking doesn't come easy to him, and fighting happens more often than not, but actions speak too. How ever he communicates you need to do the same. He must have felt threatened by your argument. To the point that he realized he had to tell you that he loved you, if he didn't want you to leave and he told you this, to make you wanna stay, he loves you. Congrats. You must of been having one heck of an argument. keep in mind that these words were spilt in the heat of a moment, and that puts a lot of meaning into them. You guys need to talk, a lot.

Answer 2

Apparently he is terrified of losing you and after an argument is when men feel most threatened but if your not ready to settle down don't lead him on. Take a minute and think about your relationship. Love doesn't start you on a roller coaster to disaster. With the right person it can be amazing you have to let yourself fall. If you feel like you love him but are scared don't let the fear of failure keep you from what could be the best thing that will happen to you. Even if it doesn't last forever why would you deprive yourself the chance at true love. Maybe it will end but you have to know if it could be the one. So if it doesn't work out you only lost a little bit of time. Take a chance Be brave go with your gut not fear or uncertainty you have to be happy some time.

Answer 3

The relationship will undoubtedly become physically abusive if you continue. He was using the I love you to keep you from walking away at that moment. He is a bullshtter, only because his parents hurt him. That is common in many of that type.
Stop the pattern of anger leading to the cool off phase, which leads back to confrontation. It is called the triangle of abuse. If you really want to help him, tell him how to dress, honestly, so that he can attract someone who is good for him.
For you, there are many ways to get help. Make it a point in your life to not look for material gain, or status gaining, when you are seeking a mate. Work on yourself and the right man will come along.
No, he doesn't know what love is yet. It is a happy emotion. If it is sparked by an argument, the words are nothing more than manipulation.

Answer 4

well you already said that you're scared. I mean this is a big thing if no one has ever said it to you. If you both love each other things should get better not worse. I mean you'll have those bad time of course, but usually things get better. Maybe you or him have comittment issues. I don't mean that in a way like you or him don't want to be stuck with one person forever. I mean that you're afraid that the "i love you" issue where you said it first and he backed off, might lead to you getting hurt because he doesn't really mean it. If it's messing with your emotions then this can be bad for both of you. If he meant it and you still love him I'd talk it out with him.

Answer 5

saying I love you is nice- but It means little.
Loving you is a whole diffrent thing. If he loves you you will see it in who he is.
It's like that old saying: if you talk the talk then walk the walk
If he loves you he will be willing to work on his communation problems and whatever else.

heres the question hon. and it is very simple -do you love him?-
Loving someone has NOTHING to do with 'Falling In Love" there is no such thing. loving someone is when you choose each day to love them. you find someone that you enjoy, who is your friend and you know can be there for you through thick and thin and you love them. At first it is easy- but when you have to tell him for the 100th time to pick his dirty closr off the bathroom floor and he says "oh, I forgot" or when he can't seem to remember that you both had planed to go on a date but he planed to go out to visit his mom on the smae day. That is when you choose to love him, even if it is with a scowel on your face.

Just spend some time thinking if this peoson has the ability to take care of you, love you even when you get crows feet around your eyes and will be faithful. If not- then that may explain why you fear things falling apart.

but if he does, then what is there to fear? Just choose to love him back, chances are, if he is all those things you alreaddy do.

Answer 6

That makes no sense.

Someone, for the first time, tells you that they love you and you think it's a bad thing for the relationship?

Sounds like you don't love him. You never said whether or not you do which means that you don't care for him that much.

You should break up with him because stringing along a man who loves you would just be evil.



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Answer 7

if u had an argument before then its probably b cuz there is something different bout u mabey u have more money now or it was a bet or dare or he lost someone and wants to get back with that person and was using u to make someone jelous u need to keep ur eyes open if you have a feeling that hes really creeping u out then find out what going on

Answer 8

Step back from the situation and just think about what if the tables were turned? How would you feel? Express to him that you're not sure about that next step in your realationship and when you're ready you will definatley let him know

Answer 9

Teach him how to communicate. Ask him what he thinks. Don't be scared to love him back, if you push him away, and then suddenly want him back, that was your fault. Sometimes, you just have to take a risk.

Answer 10

Give him sometime,or even go talk to him because without communication nothing will get any better