Alright the deal is she has always talked about having sex with another women but last night she said she wanted to move foward with it. She says she wants me to be there but did not want me to be involved she just wants me to watch. She said that she would want to finish up with me and that this is just about sex and nothing else but I can't help but worry a little bit. We have a good relationship and the last thing I want to do is lose her to anyone male or female but on the other hand this is a fantasy she really wants to make a reality. So I don't know if I should be worried or just go with it.
2007-03-08 07:01:54 · 32 answers · asked by blackeyedpeabrain 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Might be in the short term; but it's gonna bite you on the *** long term. Unless you are getting ready to hang this relationship up.... PASS
2007-03-08 07:05:30 · answer #1 · answered by wizjp 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I asked the same question of my wife about five years ago if I could have her watch me having sex with another guy. She considered it, and then flatly said NO.
I then went on a self-destructive path for the next four years and eventually ended our marriage because I knew what she knew all along - that I was gay.
Fantasy has some basis in reality.
What you should be doing together is SERIOUSLY talking this out and getting her to be honest with you - I mean brutally honest (you may not like what you hear, but you will know the truth and in the long run it is easier to deal with the consequences.) Guilt won't work - honest open communication will. Accept that she might be lesbian - but above all she should accept that she might be lesbian. It will lead to a whole better life for both of you (not right a way but in the future as long as both of you can let it go).
2007-03-08 23:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your wife need to have some very deep conversation before going on. If it simply a fantasy for her and not something that could ruin your relationship and you are comfortable with the idea, then by all means. In the end this is your decision. It will not harm her to have a fantasy remain a fantasy, but it could give you problems if you are not comfortable with the situation. Choose a woman that has no ties to either of you, and someone neither of you are likely to come in contact with again. Set up the ground rules ahead of time as far as what you'll both be comfortable/uncomfortable with. Have a 'safe' word so that if either of you change your mind, it can be immediately stopped. And remember to be safe, things can still be passed woman to woman. Hope this has helped. Good luck!
2007-03-08 07:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by poet 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is just wrong. When people are in loving and committed relationships with one person, they should not be having sex with someone else under any circumstance. The fact that she wants you to watch just makes it even more disturbing. I suggest you have a long talk with you wife about this.
2007-03-08 14:59:27 · answer #4 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself, would you be comfortable with her doing this if you weren't there watching? If you answer no, then my guess is that you will have at least some problem with it when you are watching. It will plant a seed of doubt into your mind when you two are apart and you will not find it easy to put it aside when it starts working on you. If you answer yes, then it would appear that you have a handle on your jealousy and you can proceed. Set yourselves some ground rules like who will it be, how long it will last, what your role will be and where you will watch from. The ground rules are important because you might be okay with it until she picks that friend of hers from college, you know the one you can't stand and never wanted to see naked let alone with your wife.
2007-03-08 07:27:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would worry too. But in the end, if she is really determined to do it, she's going to do it any way. I guess you just have to decide whether you are going to stand by and let it happen. In my opinion, it doesn't matter whether she is having sex with another man or another woman, it is pretty much the same, it's not you and by implication, she promised to reserve that activity for only you when you got married.
2007-03-08 07:08:14 · answer #6 · answered by rbarc 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Before proceeding you need to set the boundaries and make sure both of you are willing to follow through with the expectations. This has always been one of my fantasies just as long as the woman gets out when it is over and we never hear from her again. I am a bit possessive with my guy and wouldn't want a fantasy to turn into a nightmare for our relationship either. Good luck and hope all works out for the both of you!
2007-03-08 07:08:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Have you seen the show friends? Remember what happened to that one huy when he let his wife go at it with a woman? If she wants to have sex with a woman I would insist on being in on it and getting a piece of both. Either hse will go for it or she is a lesbian then you are screwed
2007-03-08 07:07:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pack your bags cuz once she starts she aint going to stop. First you're watching then she's doing it behind your back. Next thing you know she's got tattoos and a haircut like rosie o'donnell.
You might as well go ahead and do it because she's going to anyway if she hasn't already. At least you can enjoy the show a few times before she dumps you.
Luck
2007-03-08 08:37:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Your wife admits she seriously wants to have sex with someone else.
Should you be worried?
It's pretty basic.
It sounds like your approval is not being requested on this one so maybe your going along or being worried is irrelevant to her.
I WOULD be worried.
2007-03-08 07:22:16 · answer #10 · answered by Papa Mac DaddyJoe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋