His friend stays anywhere from 2-7 days a week. He does not pay rent. Whenever my hubby and I have time off together, he is right here too. He says thing to me like, "You should move your shoes out of the bathroom, or When are you going to vacuum my room?" He wants to bring his girlfriends over( they change every week, my fav was the married one). He calls the spare room, his room. He hangs his towel on my towel hanger. He is just obnoxious. Whenever I say anything to my husband, he says, " He was here first." I feel that this will always drive a wedge between us and things will just get worse. He started staying here right when we started dating. I feel it is hard enough to make a marriage work with 2 people, let alone a 3rd person. I just want to live alone with my husband. Is this too much to ask?
2007-03-08 06:45:04 · 14 answers · asked by Lily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i wouldnt put up with that at all. and it would have to come down to him or me. by your husband saying he was here first, thats saying he values the friendship of some scum bag rather than his marriage to oyu.
tell him its not acceptable for his friends to stay with you and that his friend needs to leave. tell his friend that you are not his maid and he can clean up his own stuff. tell him that the spare room is NOT his room. its your house not his and he needs to leave.
maybe suggest counsleing to your husband and tell him you feel its driving you crazy with his firend there. and you feel its just going to get worse. his friend does thoes things because you husband lets him.
good luck
2007-03-08 06:56:42 · answer #1 · answered by Awesome Rockin Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"He was here first"?! What kinda crap is that? How can your relationship be good if you are constantly annoyed by who is at your house? My husband had a friend who was over ALL the time. He didn't live with us but if he could have he probably would have. Time to up the ante. Threaten to leave, if you already have threatened, then it's time for you to follow through. He will realize you mean business when you start packing or once you are really gone for longer than 2 days. I know this probably sounds unreasonable, but I did all of that and that person is gone. Good luck!
2007-03-08 06:52:06 · answer #2 · answered by ESTamez 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't to much to ask. Put your foot down on this right now or you will be putting up with this for a long time to come. It is time to sit your husband down and present your feelings and thoughts in a way that gets your point across without coming across crazy. If he doesn't want to hear what you want to say then it is time to give an ultimatum.
2007-03-08 06:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by navy wife 1996 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to address this with his friend. You first need to make it clear to your husband that you married him, not him and his disgusting male friend. You have every right to feel the way that you do. Tell your husband to deal with it within the week or YOU will deal with it as you see fit. Consider taking all of this freaks belongings and putting them out at the curb.
2007-03-08 06:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by Devdude 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It comes with the territory. You dated him, you KNEW his friend was over all the time, and THEN you married him.
You can't expect your husband to change his ways (and his friends and his habits) simply because he said "I DO" unless he told you that it was going to change.
If you threaten to leave over it then he is doing the right thing by saying good riddance. You need to be more supportive and respectful.
YOU CANT EXPECT CHANGE JUST BECAUSE OF MARRIAGE, YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT WORK.
Don't make an ultimatum, but nicely let him know why it bothers you, that's all you can do. sorry, you got yourself into this one.
2007-03-08 06:56:04 · answer #5 · answered by AriesJWR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ridiculous of your husband to put his friend before you. You married your man, not your man and his buddy. His friend needs to go; if you and your husband are renting (and this guy isn't on the rental agreement) you might be able to get him booted through the rental agency. If not, you might need to seek other accomodations for the two of you. Don't let this bozo invade your home and interfere with your marriage!
As for your husband, he really needs to get his priorities straight.
2007-03-08 07:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you're married now, the friend should hit the road. When your husband tells you "he was here first", you need to say "well, I'm here now." Its definitely not fair to you. Talk it out with your man, tell him married couples aren't supposed to have room mates.
2007-03-08 06:51:27 · answer #7 · answered by writergal16 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong, the way you feel, that is. Your husband should put you first. Not his buddy. If he would rather his buddy stay there then maybe he should marry him. Now that you two are "married yours is mine and mine is yours". It's your house too, kick the jerk out.
2007-03-08 07:14:54 · answer #8 · answered by SHELLBELL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband he has been making passes at you and flashing himself to you and you can no longer trust being around him because you're thinking of taking him up on his offer lol. and your husband will throw him out.
2007-03-08 07:05:12 · answer #9 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to hand it to you Brenda, you have outdone me in the "tolerance" department. I wouldn't of lasted three days in this situation......
Tell your husband he can keep the friend, or keep you.....his choice.............and I agree with the woman that said to leave for a few days.............NEVER put up with crap like this.
2007-03-08 06:57:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋