My husband is a very sensitive person. While he way away in Iraq on duty, his grandfather died. No one in his family had told him of his grandfather's passing. I thought that was very wrong of his family to do. However, they were scared of how he would of reacted in Iraq. Although, when he came home, they still didn't tell him untill he heard from a friend. Just today, his childhood dog, Rocco, passed away. I was the first one to find out and his mother told me she wasn't going to tell my husband for another 6 months! I think this is extremely WRONG! I refuse to play along as if I don't know anything. But I can't have my husband be lied to even though his mother asked me not to say anything. Will I make things worse by telling him or should I just stay out of his family's business?
2007-03-08 06:43:36 · 4 answers · asked by Soldier'sWife 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Every soldier, wherever they are, wants to know what is going on at home. This has been this way since there was the first soldier. Your priority is not to please his family, but to please him. Keeping things from him will only make things worse either when he does come home, or someone else tells him what is going on. You are his primary concern and love at this time. You and him need to have wide open communication at all times. That doesn't mean that if there is something that will tear you both apart that you spill it. It does mean that he needs to be informed of how things are. Waiting to tell him about a dog dying is stupid and if it sets him off to know it, then I wonder about whether or not he sould have live ammo to shoot.
When I was on tour away from home, the one thing I could always count on was a letter (There were no cell phones then.) or care package from my wife. The rest of the family didn't matter that much because I didn't live with them anymore. She was number one and I relied upon her to keep things at home while I was gone. I sort of had the same thing with my mom that you have with his and I told her to take a long walk off a short pier. My wife and I have been married for over 28 years and I wasn't going to let stupid stuff separate us.
Tell his family that you refuse to keep secrets from your husband. They may then keep it all secret from you, but then you won't have the responsibility to tell him if you don't know anything. If they want to play this game, they can play by themselves.
2007-03-08 07:07:23 · answer #1 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him . its wrong that they are keeping this from him but also on the other hand its better that he doesnt know especially when he is in Iraq. Also , his family is also your family now , you two are married !
2007-03-08 06:51:20 · answer #2 · answered by pure_sweetness1984 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know he may get a little ticked that you are keeping things from him you can't let his mother run your marriage she could ruin it for you. Honesty is the only way to have a happy marriage. Tell him ASAP!!
2007-03-08 06:55:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his wife. His family's business is, by extension, your business. You should share EVERYTHING with him, consequences be damned. From now on, if his family doesn't want him to know something, they'll know not to tell you.
2007-03-08 06:52:49 · answer #4 · answered by dave_cooke1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋