I care about him, I just don't love him anymore. I don't want to hurt him, but I know that it will be worse latter on. I just can't get him to understand that I don't want to be with him... Please help!
2007-03-08 06:32:32 · 18 answers · asked by babygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should add that I have tried to work it out & we have talked so many times about how things will change & it never happens. He still has a bad temper & i can't take the hurt that he has put me through any more. I gues what I'm saying is how do I get us to the point where there is mutual agreement to move on? Or is that possible?
2007-03-08 07:09:29 · update #1
There are a lot of different things you could tell him but all are difficult for him to take. If I were in his shoes I would want to be let down very gently. Tell him about his strong points and how he has such a bright future ahead of him.
Then start to lower the boom (gently). Tell him that you see that both of you have grown and in different directions and that it is best for both of you to move on to other relationships.
Assure him (if it is true) that you are not seeing another guy. If you are, don't mention it as this will cause excruciating pain.
Good luck to him and you.
2007-03-08 06:37:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I was just on the blunt end of the same thing from my ex. I hate to say it but why dont you love him anymore? Have you 2 talked it out? What I would of like instead of my g/f pretty much telling me she didnt love me anymore and instantly go for another guy, after 4 years you atleast need to give him a chance. Talk out your problem see if he is willing to try to work it out. Its best to put everything out on the table talk see if the problems can be fixed. I find it hard to believe that love just goes away, so if you talk to him and find that things just wont work out then atleast he will know you both tried. It will make his fall alot softer and if things do work out you might be happy with him.
Unless there is already another person that you are thinking about most of the time talking will work it out. If there is another guy he doesnt stand a chance with out you wanting him to have a chance.
Edit: with your new info then you have done everything you can. I feel that you should let him know how you feel, and move on. He will hurt at first but as i'm learning he will move on.
2007-03-08 14:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by Spectrox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm having this problem myself. But on March 23rd we'll have our 5 year anniversary. I love him but I'm just not sure that I love him the way that he needs to be loved. I feel like I've wasted the last 5 years of our lives together. My plan is to get the money saved up that I will need to start all over and then let him down gently. I'm going to tell him hes a great guy and a good husband I just don't want to live here anymore. We have gone through this every year since we've been married. Each year one of us wants to leave but come back out of fear of being alone. I understand how you feel, believe me. It was a lot easier to get married than it is going to be to get divorced. All in all you have to do what makes you happy and not really worry about every one else. At least thats what I keep telling myself. If you truly don't want to be there you aren't making it any easier on yourself by staying. Do what makes you happy cause if you aren't happy he won't be.
2007-03-08 14:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this situation. You just need to be as honest and blunt as possible - and sooner, rather than later. He'll be hurt... that's a give in, but he'll be a lot less hurt if you stay in the relationship when you're not in love. That's what I did, and for too long. As I said, he will be hurt, but that's only human. Time really does heal, and in this case, you're leaving for the best interests of both people involved.
A straight "I don't love you anymore" is direct, not wishy-washy, and the best way to go.
It's tough - good luck.
2007-03-08 14:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by trailangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married and have been for almost 4 years i am ready for a divorce now. I just dont know how to be on my own and it scares me but its something i have to do. Plus i have kids so that doesnt make it better. I tell him i dont want our kids to grow up with there parents fighting all the time it wont do anything but hurt them. So just tell him that you cant do it anymore and you need some time away maybe that is all you really need.
2007-03-08 14:37:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u don't need to keep trying to get him to understand. he never will. if u want to move on you r just going to have to be strong and do it.
i was in the same situation 20 years ago and i ended up marrying him and having kids and then getting a divorce. i wish i would have just been strong and left. every time i would say i wanted to leave he would beg and plead and NOT UNDERSTAND
2007-03-08 14:48:18 · answer #6 · answered by ladydaisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it quickly and move on. He will need space to deal with it on his own, so don't talk to or see him for a while. I it really difficult, but if it is for the best, it is worth it in the end.
2007-03-08 14:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him whats happened and that your sorry, tell him that its not your fault what u are feeling but u dont want to string him along... he will be upset at first obviously but he will understand soon enough
2007-03-08 14:45:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing you can say or do is going to ease that feeling of you dumping him, nothing you can do or say is going to comfort him while he is crying himself to sleep or starts to cry when he hears " your song" there is not " take the pain away" pill you can give him,,
just tell him the famous" it isnt you, it is me " line, and break up
2007-03-08 14:41:52 · answer #9 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new place to live. Pre-arrange everything in advance. Leave while hes at work. Leave him a note explaining everything.
2007-03-08 14:36:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋