I have 2 daughters away at college and my youngest daughter is 14 and pretty self sufficient. My wife hasn't had a real job since we had kids but now she sits at home most of the day with nothing to do. She watches a lot of TV and naps several times a day. I know she does the laundry and cooks dinner once in a while but I'd rather she was working and making an income. It would really help us financially if she would work. Her last job was in a department store. I've dropped hints about working to her but she gets mad. What should I do?
2007-03-08 06:23:26 · 12 answers · asked by Realtor in CA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We recently went through this. It's so hard to get back into the workforce after being home. I just found a part time retail job so that I could be home when the kids got on the bus and home when they got off the bus. I love having my own money and having adults to talk to. I sometimes feel like other moms look down at me for working in retail instead of going back full time in an office job, but that's why my kids are so well behaved.
2007-03-08 08:31:04 · answer #1 · answered by nina-h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, in my opinion you should encourage her to work or go to school with positive reinforcement. Tell her how happy she would be if she met new people, and how interesting the challenges would be. You should take into consideration that ur wife may not want to go to work because she is not interested in working as a cashier, or committing herself to something that is not challenging. Maybe she has different interest that she can explore by going back to school, or simply taking a trade. You should also talk to her about some of the financial benefits there would be if she does work. Tell her u that you will both be able to enjoy more vacations, or that u think it may enhance ur marriage. Tell her how beautiful she will look when she is all dressed up getting ready to go to work, or how proud u will be of her for making that step. Remember its not what u say but how u say it, so i am sure that with healthy communication this can be easily resolved! chau.....
2007-03-08 06:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by jserrano1966@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw, Its probably real hard for her, she has gotten into a routine, of staying home, taking care of the kids and the house...Then the kids grew up, so she takes care of the house. This is so common...
I was a stay at home Mom for years, and When my daughter started School, I knew I wanted to go back to school, so I did..I knew if I didnt, I probably never would.
Explain to your wife, that Not only for financial reasons, this would be good for her to get out of the house...
Im sure its hard, this has became her life, staying home, taking care of the home..
Maybe she could look at something part time..to gradually work herself back into the work force...Something in the afternoon, might make her feel better, so she could still have her mornings to rest, and clean house...
Find out what kind of things interest her, and maybe she could find a job of interest.
Just try to encourage and lift her up...
She may be depressed, depression is real common for stay at home moms..
Hope this helps some..
2007-03-08 06:56:56 · answer #3 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well maybe she just needs a little down time. If it's been going on for a while, maybe you should use an angle of concern. Tell her you've noticed she seems to have lost a little of her former spunk and ask if she is feeling ok. Tell her you wanted to know, because you've been doing some thinking about the future and want to compare long-term plans to be sure you're on the same page.
2007-03-08 06:35:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It might help if you approached this from the standpoint of wanting her to be happy and fulfilled with her life. Excessive napping can be a sign of depression. You could tell her you're worried about her and you think she would be happier if she got out of the house more. You might have more luck with this approach. I'm not saying you're selfish to want her to contribute to the household income, but I think you might get better results if you try to make the idea be about HER happiness, rather than your own. Good luck!
2007-03-08 06:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by sueflower 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I take it that you are going to share in the housework if she gets a job ?? That being cooking, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping and all those other things to numerous to mention~~.
I would not respect my husband at all if he expected me to go to work after being a stay at home Mom for all those years.
Thank God, he knows how hard at home I worked. Of course I am married to an exceptional man~~~~Jill
2007-03-08 06:40:08 · answer #6 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well its probably really hard for her it was extremly hard for me to back to work and I only took two years off. It's weird going back to work excpecialy after all that time. It sounds like shes deppressed you need to talk to her like a freind not yelling or making her feel worse. Before you talk to her about going back to work ask her how shes feeling
2007-03-08 06:32:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it first. Develop a plan to explain why you would like her to return to work and then sit down with her and discuss it. Show her how it can benefit her as well.
2007-03-08 06:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by Kenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her have time to herself for a while. Its hard work raising kids. She needs you to treat her like a person.
2007-03-08 06:35:16 · answer #9 · answered by Navulam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you should control her she already raised 3 kids so she's probably having some time to rest. give her sometime
2007-03-08 06:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋