My bf and I have been with each other for 5 years now on and off. Now it is time that I am thinking of settling down. We are from diff caste and both of our parents had trouble accepting that. But now my parents are fine with it. The problem is his mother(no father). She is very diplomatic in handling it and she says that we can do whatever we want as long as we dont ask her to be involved. My parents will never accept that. My bf does not want to force her but neither of us want to get married without her consent. Now my parents want to talk with her but she does not want to. My bf does not want to force her into doing anything since she was a single mother and my bf feels obligated to her. Since he is the only son, she is all he has and will have to end up living with us. I am scared of how my life will turn out if there are such serious starting troubles. I love my bf a lot and I dont know what to do! Help!
2007-03-08 06:15:46 · 6 answers · asked by Lucky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she's keeping you two from being happy. let him force her. she'll learn to love you eventually. if not, she's just stuborn and nothing can fix that.
2007-03-08 06:25:03 · answer #1 · answered by scolex89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it weren't you it would be someone else, she'll never accept anyone else in his life, because as you said he the only son.
He needs to let his mom know he is going through with it and hope she comes around if not her lose not yours. You two don't need anyone dragging you down.
He has to grow up and be a man if he's going to play like one. And the first step is, not be disrespectful, but let her know, just because she doesn't approve doesn't change anything. Also have her give the reasons she doesn't approve
Hope this helps
2007-03-08 06:24:06 · answer #2 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually it sounds more like she is just using her "situation" to her advantage to control your bf. She feels as if she acts this way that his loyalty to her will get him to do what SHE wants him to do. It doesn't sound like she really cares about his wishes at all. There is definitely serious troubles brewing. Mom needs to stop controlling an adult child, and he should really step up and tell her how he really feels and express his needs. There may be a difficult choice coming for one of you. As for obligated to your parent, as a parent myself, I hope my children don't make decisions as adults because they feel obligated to make me happy. I hope that I have done a good enough job that they can make choices all on their own to achieve THEIR happiness, not mine. Loving someone unconditionally means to support them in whatever they choose to do with their life and be there no matter what. Mom sounds conditional. Be careful.
2007-03-08 06:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by dancing11freak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a sticky situation but if she seems to be set in her ways then you can't do anything else but go through with it. Who knows? Maybe after living with you she will come around? She will basically have no choice. My dad's grandma disliked my mom when he first married her but then she got sick and my mom cared for her and my grandma ended up loving her dearly like a daughter.
2007-03-08 06:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow a set! He is a big boy and should be able to make his own decisions, and live his own life.. He needs to think about what is going to make HIM happy, not anyone else because if he is not happy then what was it worth!
2007-03-08 06:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wear my sunglasses at night ...
2007-03-08 06:18:02 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica marie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋