My 26 year old and 7 year old granddaughter live with my daughters boyfriend. He has a fit if the house is not spotless but does nothing to help. MY daughter has little money and and he is always berating her about it. He will not let them eat HIS food but will eat theirs. My daughter says her always has to know where she is and I seldom her from her. They lived with us before they moved in with the boyfriend and I babysat often when my daughter worked. I worry that the boyfriend mentally and verbally abuses my daughter and maybe granddaughter. My daughter is always worried he will find out about things. My granddaughter is always told to be quite and not to jump around. She is sent to her room all the time and never plays out side, she use to love to do that, she is expect to fold all the laundry and if it is not done right it is thrown around the room and do again, if she gets a drop of urine on the toilet seat she is punished, what should I do ?
2007-03-08 05:51:06 · 21 answers · asked by SAL 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sal, your daughter is caught up in a syndrome that is sadly repeated too often in our society. There is little you can do if your daughter does not want to recognize that she and her daughter are in danger. All you can do is point out to her that she does not have to put up with the abuse, any abuse, she has subjected herself to for all this time. There are many organizations that will give her all the assistance she needs in order to get away from him and plan a new, fulfilling life for herself and her daughter. She needs to get out of this situation before it gets totally out of hand and lands either herself or her daughter in the hospital.
2007-03-08 06:03:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and have a serious talk with your daughter. Tell her your concerns-odds are she'll protect the boyfriend. Try talking to the granddaughter, see how shes feeling( in a round about way.) If this confirms your suspicions go to the authorities. Her mom won't protect her daughter so someone has to. Your daughter is old enough to make her own decision to stay with a man like that.
2007-03-08 14:00:27 · answer #2 · answered by sugar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have a heart to heart with your daughter, this is not the type of environment your granddaughter should be in. Your daughter should leave him. Helping around the house is one thing but it sounds like they are slaves. He agreed to let them live there, that ,means sharing. They are one houeshold now and they should share everything, especially food. I think your daughter may just feel like he is the only person that wants her so she is tolerating him. THis is not healthy for either of them. Talk to her and tell her what you feel, and that you are worried for their safety! Hopefully she will understand. Good luck!
2007-03-08 13:57:58 · answer #3 · answered by lovin' life... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter and granddaughter need to get out of there ASAP! This could turn from verbal and mental abuse to physical abuse. This will scar your granddaughter for life and your daughter will blame herself.
If I were you I would get in contact with the Police and explain the situation and find out what you need to do to get them out of there. Plus they may be able to go with you if your daughter's boyfriend won't let her go.
Please be careful.
2007-03-08 14:14:21 · answer #4 · answered by Important 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your daughter and try to get her away from that man. He is a ticking time bomb and yes they are being abused. If your daughter doesn't want to leave try to get custody of your granddaughter because she has no choice while your daughter does. Hopefully your daughter will see that she is in a bad situation.
2007-03-08 13:58:43 · answer #5 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The boyfriend definitely has some sort of control issues. Your daughter is not in a loving relationship, unfortunately. However, she is an adult and therefore any unasked for advice will not be taken well; unless you feel that your grandchild is in danger there's not much you can do at this point. Part of the process of having our children grow up is to allow them to make their own mistakes,to learn from those mistakes, and become stronger people because of it.
2007-03-08 13:57:47 · answer #6 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! this is horrible, specially because your daughter their mom is doing nothing to stop this man. This is affecting the child in so many ways, psychologically speaking. You need to talk to your daughter one on one and let her know if she does nothing to fix this "mental abuse" you will feel obligated to take legal matter and request for your granddaughters custody. I belief you can contact child services but warn your daugher if you do, then she is looking at them taking her daughter away until better resources can be provided. She nor you should allow this man to mentally abuse her, she needs to be a mother than a women to this man. Her daugher needs her to be fit as a mom, and that man needs to find a slave to suffice his needs.
2007-03-08 14:00:41 · answer #7 · answered by GIGI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if they are being abused but I do think their situation is bad and needs to change. Your Daughter should leave her Boyfriend and live elsewhere with your Granddaughter.
2007-03-08 13:58:34 · answer #8 · answered by Alex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow what a a** i would talk to your daughter and see what is really going on and if she tells you what you are feeling then i would get them out of there i know it is hard but do what you think is right but i would be doing something have you asked your granddaughter
2007-03-08 13:58:17 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your daughter about your concern. Confirm with her that you are worried about her and her child and are willing to stand by her no matter what. Try and encourage your daughter as well to seek counselling or to talk to a women crisis centre. She may be caught in the cycle of abuse and can't get out.
If necessary get your daughter and her child out of the house yourself (with police if necessary) and keep her at your house.
What ever happens you need to get her out of that situation before things get worse. It is abuse, mentally for sure.
Good luck for your and your family
2007-03-08 13:58:09 · answer #10 · answered by Angel 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋