How do I tell My ex-husband that I am pregnant?

Question

I have been divorced for about 4 years, and the main reason was that my ex-husband didn't want children. About a year ago, my ex started calling again, and 2 months ago he started inviting me to events. However, he would make it very clear that they were not dates. Well one night after accompanying him to a business gala we ended up sleeping together, and now I am pregnant. I know we could have made it if I didn't want children, but I married him anyway figuring that one day he would change. I am not getting any younger (over 35), and I truly feel that this is my last chance at ever having a child natrually without adoption. I do want to keep it, but how fair is it to force someone to have a baby, and I have no idea how I am going to tell him.

Answer 1

Keep your baby, and let him deal with this on his own.

Answer 2

Just tell him either he will get over it or he won't. I would say do it in person maybe at a restaurant in case he does freak a bit. As long as you know you want this baby though be happy and don't worry about him. Loads of women have children on there own and if that is the way he wants it so be it. Either he can pay you child support and not see the child or he can give up his rights completely. Plus you never know maybe when he finds out you are pregnant he might re-think things and realize that he does want a child

Answer 3

He has the right to know. However, if you are not looking to him for financial support or for him to play an active role in the baby's life, then you are not forcing him to have a baby. On the other side, you cannot expect him to be a daddy if he's against it. In that regard, you would have to consider this baby as you would an adopted baby. You wouldn't expect him to be a daddy to an adopted baby. If you are going to keep the baby, then I would wait until the end of your first trimester since that is the period when most miscarriages occur. Also, since this is your first pregnancy, you won't start to show until around 4 months anyway. I don't know him, so it's hard for me to tell you just what to say. I would just be honest with him and give him the option to either be part of the baby's life or not. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

You are not forcing anyone to have a child. he laid down with you and he is grown enough to know that pregnancy is a consequence to sex, better yet a blessing. If he doesn't want this child there are steps he can take to not having to be in this childs life. Single mothers make it all the time. You can give this child a great life on your on if you have to. Go for it have the baby you always wanted. Just call him and let him know. Hopefully he'll be more understanding than you think. Good luck

Answer 5

Optimally, he will have changed his mind about
kids and you all live happily ever after.

Or, he still is not intersted in being a daddy, but
regardless, HE IS GONNA BE ONE.

It takes 2 to tango, so you are both responsible.
Financially he must support the child, but more
importatnly, we hope he will be a part of this
child's life.

You just have to be honest and come out and tell him.
I feel it best to talk to him face to face about such
a sensitive issue, but a letter would be a good
2nd choice. Emails would be in appropriate I think.
Just let him know, start off with something like
"Remember a few weeks ago after that gala and
we got a little . . crazy afterwards? Well . .. . ."

Hope it works out for ya!

Answer 6

I am sure that your ex is aware that unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy. So you should call him up or maybe send him a card, but you should tell him. I think you should keep the baby but of course it sounds as though you may go through a little rough time as a single mother. You never know what could happen though once the child is born his "daddyness" may just come out of him. Good luck and just be upfront and honest, it is always the best plan.

Answer 7

If you can afford things on your own, you could choose not to have him pay child support. And if he doesn't want to see the child he doesn't have to. In those ways you could keep from "forcing" him to be a father.

But the child is entitled to child support from both parents, so if you need the money then get a child support order.

He's a grown man, he knows how children are made and no one forced him to have sex with you (I'm assuming). He's got to be mature enough to accept responsibility for his actions.

But like I said, if you're willing to "let him off the hook" then you can. Perhaps just the words "we need to have a talk" will be enough to let him know what's up.

Answer 8

professionalc you are ridiculous. Obviously she this baby was unplanned, and as far as a baby being born into families, that may be the ideal, but **** happens. This guy knew the minute he dropped his pants he was taking chance. Lady you're not getting any younger, and you are lucky to be over 35 and able to concieve. Tell him asap and let him decide what he wants to do. maybe your kid will have a relationship with it's father, meybe it won't, but the kid has a right to live, and you have a right to be a mom. Who knows after he sees the kid he may come around, but if he doesn't atleast you have a wonderful baby!

Answer 9

yes you are having a baby with your ex, but you're not making him have a baby. if he doesn't want kids he can keep it that way if he wants, that just means you are solely responsible for your child. you do what you want with your body. my mother and father were not married and my mom wanted kids and my dad didn't and when she got pregnant, he ran away and I was born. I don't know my dad and I'd like to keep it that way. I happy without knowing my dad. i'm sure your child will cope with whatever desicions your ex will make. tell him soon , but make sure you feel comfortable. don't stress yourself out it's bad for baby. he has to respect your desicions you make for your body and hello...you're 35... you can do what you want! It will ultimately be his choice to participate or not! Think about this too, sometimes men change how they feel after they've heard they're going to be a dad. my husband was soooo scared when we got pregnant the first time (unfortunately i miscarried), but after the news set in, he was so excited and now he can't wait to have a baby. he's more on top of the fetility game than me. so you never know! if he decides not to participate, then don't get all crazy and start telling him you'll see him in court for child support, that might make things worse. talk to him about all the options you are willing to toloerate. good luck and don't worry everything will be fine!

Answer 10

Your not forcing him to have a baby, you are having a baby, it takes two to tango, so he cant really be mad. Look at the bright side, even though you are divorced your childs father will be someone whom you love and trust and who will be in their lives regardless of wether your married. I dont think he's going to be mad, if he's older and this is his first child maybe there will be some pride and satisfaction in having his own child, and I agree with whoever said it, maybe it will bring out his daddyness. I would put yourself first and start financially planning how you will take care of the baby, I would stay close to my female relatives and friends because ultimately they will be the ones to take care of you. Good luck, and believe that some things happen for a reason :)

Answer 11

If he hasn't changed his mind, which he probably hasn't, then I guess you will be a single mother. If he thought you were on birth control when you slept together, I don't know if you can or should hold him responsible. If he knew you weren't protected, then I think you have a right to expect full support from him. It would be nice for your baby to have his dad in his life, but honestly, one good parent is better than 2, if the other one is resentful of the child and not loving towards him/her.